The Meeting of Minds : Lennon and McKay
by NenyaVilyaNenya
Summary: The first meeting of McKay and Lennon during a few hectic days at the SGC. Plot bunnies cause some problems, and pose some solutions. Companion to ‘When Plot Bunnies Attack’ by BiteMeTechie
1. Gas Station

**Summary: **The first meeting of Lennon and McKay in Colorado Springs. Companion to '_When Plot Bunnies Attack'_ by BiteMe Techie

**Rating: **Teen

**Genre:** Humor/Parody/General

**Characters:** McKay, Lennon

**A/N:** This is a companion piece to '_When Plot Bunnies Attack'_ by BiteMe Techie. If you don't read that, 1. Your missing out on a hilarious fic 2. The basics of this universe and who Lennon and the Bunny Busters are would make less sense

**Placement:** This isn't AU... you'll see.

**The Meeting of Minds: Lennon and McKay **

**By NenyaVilyaNenya**

The line was impossibly long at the counter, and she was getting very, very annoyed at waiting. She wasn't even buying anything but yet she still had to wait in line just to ask a simple question. 

She tapped the man's shoulder in front of her, "Hey, you."

He snapped around and snipped, "What?" It didn't take a genius to see he was just as annoyed as she was.

"Which way is it to Cheyenne Mountain?" She hated asking, but the Sliders universe had messed up her sense of direction, all those different Earths in _one_ fandom do that to a person.

"Are you serious?" He folded his arms and stared her down.

"Yeah." I wouldn't be asking unless I was." She gave him her own glare and checked him over. Bad pattern, as in a hideous large tan plaid wannabe collared shirt and equally horrid brown slacks. Sheesh, what writers dress extras in, there was no way this was a canon.

"Don't you _see_ the thing?" He pointed out the window. The woman in front of him, in coke-rimmed glasses, a band tee-shirt, and muddied converse sneakers, followed where he was pointing.

"Oh. Who would've thought of putting it _there_ of all places." Writers. She snipped and walked off.

"Wait!" He called out, not every person in the world asked about the mountain, if they did, they were either working there or on their way to blow it up in some anti-government protest. By the looks of it, she was the later scenario.

"What?" She snapped around, her heavy pack slung over her shoulder, "I don't have time for this."

"Why do you need to know about Cheyenne Mountain?"

"It's none of your business."

"That's where you're wrong."

Her glare would have instilled fear in anyone, and him ten tens more than anyone else. "_Wrong_? Me? Impossible. I haven't been wrong."

He took a step back impulsively but couldn't keep his mouth shut, "You – you are, because I happen to be working there so it stands within reason I should know if you are. By the looks of it you aren't military."

"What gives you that idea? You know nothing of what I'm capable of, or my job. I need to go meet a couple friends for some… reviewing of... the systems."

"Oh… oh! You're from the Oversight Committee, aren't you…? Why are you dressed like _that_ though? It doesn't seem professional."

"What's wrong with how I'm dressed? It's infinitely better than how you are." She couldn't believe she was arguing about her clothes with an extra. A well-written extra, though, apparently. Maybe he had a line or two.

"You look like you belong at a punk concert, not investigating Cheyenne Mountain."

"Your shirt should be made into a dog bed."

They stood and stared at each other, hands on their hips as the line for the checkout got shorter and shorter, until there was no one in the gas station but them and one very confused looking cashier.

He finally asked, "Who the hell are you?"

"Lennon… Mallory." She grinned at the last name, it coming from the last fandom universe her and her team went to before their little vacation.

"Dr. Rodney-"

"Oh, you're one of those."

"Those what?"

"The people who insist on being called 'Doctor' so everyone knows how smart they are. Well, I'll tell you what, I bet I'm twice as smart as you can dream of."

"Oh for -… that's impossible. There's only one woman," he took in her raven hair, "a blonde who comes near me in intelligence and you ain't her baby."

"Baby? Did you just call me _baby_?" Her eyes flashed with anger and she clenched her fist.

"Yes. No… no, no, no. What I said was _maybe_ and I was going to say, uh… maybe the two of you are related…"

Lennon couldn't help but punch him. No one, ever, ever calls her baby and doesn't undergo some sort of pain.

His face turned from the impact and he rubbed his jaw, "Ow! My jaw! I think you broke it! Anyone else see that, hmm?" He looked around only to find the cashier there, who was stifling a laugh. "I need to get this looked at, you are so paying for this."

"I don't think so, _Rodney._"

He pointed with his finger at her, "I am going to file this! You'll mourn the day you crossed Dr. Rodney McKay."

"Aww, you big baby. Should I kiss it better?"

"No, it needs proper… What? Really?" He stared at her, his eyes passing over her lips to her black hair that was so black it was almost fake, in contrast to her pale skin.

"Get a hold of yourself. There's going to be no kissing in the future." She smirked and made her exit.

Rodney grumbled and went up to the counter, quickly paying for his gas without a word to the cashier, except a glare that permanently stopped the kid from laughing.

He left and headed to his car, the only one at the pumps and at the extra parking spaces. He saw Lennon digging in her pack on the sidewalk.

"You don't have a car? What are you going to do, walk there?"

Her head shot up, searching out whoever was talking. Her eyes fell on him as she pulled out a bottle of water, "That was the plan."

"Get in." He said without thinking and opened his car door.

"What?" Was he nuts? She punched him out and he was offering her a ride? Was he insane?

"Get in the damn car." He had to admit this mystery woman was rather intriguing. And since she apparently was working for the Oversight Committee… well best to make good with her.

She shoved the bottle back in the pack, "Pushy aren't, we?"

He leaned over the door, "Look, if you'd rather walk the two miles, be my guest." They hadn't actually talked about the SGC, so there was a chance she was only going to NORAD, but it was better to play it safe.

"Look, it's nice of you really, but I'm starting to think you may not have all your marbles." Just what she needed, a crazy extra.

"Why not? I'm the sanest person I know. You know it's getting hot out here." He fanned himself, "Walking in the sun would be terrible."

Lennon scowled, "Fine. But I'll have you know I don't do chit-chat with ex- every person I don't know."

"Good. We have something in common then." He got in the car and slammed the door as she opened the passenger side and threw in her pack in front of the seat. It landed with a thud that startled Rodney.

"What the hell do you have in there?"

She slid onto the seat, "Do you really want to know?" She was sure relaying off weapons and such things wouldn't be such a big hit.

"No." He clicked his seat beat and started up the car. "Uh, seat belt. I'd prefer not to be responsible for your death if some idiot side swipes us."

"What? Oh." She followed suit and pulled the seat belt over her chest as he pulled the car out of the station.

They sat in silence the few minutes it took Rodney to drive to the mountain, Lennon getting annoyed at him staying _exactly_ at the speed limit. What's the fun in that? She glanced in the backseat and noticed a brown jacket and a brown leather bag. The guy owned something in every shade of brown imaginable.

Rodney periodically rubbed his jaw and rotated it, noticing that it wasn't broken after all, at least so he thought. Either way he'd have to pop in to see Dr. Fraiser. How was he supposed to explain it? He pissed off a member of the Committee, whether or not she only had clearance for NORAD.

As soon as they were a hundred yards from the gate to the parking lot, she commanded, "Let me out here."

"What? We're not even through the outer gate yet."

"I told my friends I'd meet them out here."

"Oh, well then." He pulled over and stopped the car. As she grabbed her pack by the top, he felt he should say something, "Bye."

She opened the door and launched out of the car, "Bye."

"No thank you?" He snipped, you give someone a ride, you expect them to appreciate it.

She lowered her head so she could see him through the still open door, "Thanks, _Rodney."_

He scowled at a stranger addressing him by his first name, but chose to ignore it, "Yep. Bye Mallory."

Lennon couldn't help but laugh as he pulled away and once the car was out of sight, ducked into the brush at the side of the road where her fellow Bunny Busters were already waiting.

"What took you so long?"

"Excuse me for being a minute late, Charlie." Lennon adjusted her pack's strap across her body after addressing the commander of the team.

Charlie fiddled with something in her leather vest pocket, "Don't make a habit of it."

"Who was that? In the car?" The other woman asked.

"No one. Just some guy giving me a lift, don't go throwing yourself into his arms too."

Charlie laughed, "She's got a point, Madge."

Madison defended herself, "I tripped, alright? Quinn just happened to be standing right there."

"Tripped on what? Your libido?"

"Can we just go already?" Madison, the youngest of the group asked, half-whining.

"Yes. We'll have to swing around and enter by one of the back hatchways. This is a recon mission and possible obliteration." Charlie pulled out a cigar and started chewing on the end of it.

"Yes, yes, we got it. There's been a report of a ship/amnesia bunny den on Level 28." Lennon made sure everything was in her pack and she didn't leave anything in the car with Rodney... she missed his last name.

"If it's there, we're to quietly clean it out and leave no trace. This fandom hasn't been taken over yet, and we're to keep it that way." Charlie started to lead the way through the field heading to the forest, "Lenny, you do have explosives, right?"

"Yes, since when in all the time you've known me have I not had explosives?" She fell into step beside her superior.

Madison smiled as she walked with them, "There was the time you left your pack at Langly's."

Lennon glared at the younger member, "One time and it comes back to haunt me! Sheesh."

* * *

**A/N:** The end or not? BiteMe Techie doesn't want it to be and is gently pushing me to that conclusion as well, anyone else? 


	2. Colleagues

**A/N:** Hey everyone! The plot bunnies for this story have decided to take over my house and eat all my food, so in an attempt to get them out, this story is continuing. Lucky you!**  
**

**

* * *

Part 2**

"Are you sure that's enough?" Charlie asked sarcastically.

"If that doesn't blow it open, then I'll quit. Eleven five a year or not. Stand back unless you want your hair singed off." Lennon fell back a good ten feet and plugged her ear, holding the detonator in the other.

Madison and Charlotte moved behind her with hands over their ears, knowing that standing in that particular place would most likely guarantee safety. Hopefully.

Lennon triggered the explosion and a larger fireball cloud than was necessary erupted from around the circular hatch, eliciting a little squee from her. The hatch flipped all the way open, worse for wear.

"Okay…" Charlotte dug in her vest pocket and pulled out three laminated badges outlined in red and blazoned with 'Visitor' in the same color and a blue Air Force seal over 'SGC.' "Here, we don't want to get pulled in for questioning before we get to the store room." She handed them their own passes and clipped hers to her vest.

"We don't want another Cromag situation." Lennon snarked to no one in particular as she peered down the hole and clipped her pass on.

"That was so not fun." Madison pulled her mousy brown hair up into a high ponytail.

Charlotte snorted and began the descent down into the SGC with Madison following right behind her and then Lennon.

"There had to be a better way in, Charlie." Lennon tersely commented after about a minute.

"I suppose you'd have rather we walked through the front door."

"I'm just saying that this doesn't seem the most efficient way in. This space is really, really, suffocating."

"Lenny, we know you don't like little spaces, but we only have to climb down, not up." Madison hissed quietly, "And if you don't lower your voice, you're going to get us caught!"

"These walls are three inches of steel, we're fine."

Madison retorted, "Do you even know how voices carry?"

"Yes. Of course."

"Then shush up!" Madison gently hit Lennon's foot above her.

"Hey!"

Charlotte resisted the urge to bang her head against the metal rung, "Hush you two, we still have a little while to go, and I'd prefer to get there in one piece."

"Speaking of pieces, what are we going to do with the little bunny pieces if there is a den?" The silence that followed kinda worried Madison. "Well?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

"Channeling Bra'tac, huh?" Lennon commented, trying to focus on wide open spaces, not a little confined passageway just wide enough for a ladder and a person.

Charlotte defended, "There's nothing wrong with a little Bra'tac in such situations."

"Madge has a point."

"Gee, thanks."

"First of all, we don't even know if there is a plot bunny den."

"But there probably is, this is a rather large fandom. Rumors at Head Quarters say that it may even outrun the X-files and spin off a new series."

"Since when do you listen to rumors, Madge?"

"Since they started to be right. Remember the one about Highlander becoming a series?"

Charlotte felt a lightbulb going on over her head, "You guys did read about the zat'nikatels, I hope."

"Yeah…

"Oh…"

"Now we just have to get our hands on a few of them. That'll be your assignment, Lenny."

"Thanks. Charge me with breaking into an armory in a military base."

"You can do it." Charlotte looked at the number painted on the door. "Here we are, Level 13." They stayed quiet as she reached down and used the latch to open the door a crack and peek out. "We're clear." She lowered herself through the open door into the hall, quickly followed by the other two. Lennon closed the door.

Both ways looked exactly the same, circular halls with lights hanging from the ceiling, and Charlotte racked her brain to remember which way was which.

"Are we going to stand here forever or what?" Lennon felt awfully exposed just standing in the middle of a base in civilian clothes.

"I thought it was to the left…?" Madison glanced around feeling the same way.

"No… the right. Come on." Charlotte led the way, cautiously turning a corner and opening the door to the store room.

Lennon flicked the lights on after the door was closed, and the room came into view. "Where oh where can uniforms be, oh where oh where…" She half-sang as the group searched shelves of boxes in search of the elusive fabrics.

Charlotte pulled out the cigar she had been chewing before and started again. They had to be in there, this level was housing for personnel after all.

"Got 'em!" Madison called from a shelf smack dab in the middle of the room. "There's a bunch of different kinds…you guys want to match?"

"Don't make me gag. We may be a team but matching you all is not on my list of what constitutes a team." Lennon moved over to her and started rifling through the stacks of individually wrapped uniforms. "Ick, jumpsuits."

"Matching wouldn't be so bad." Charlotte teased and found a black set, "Perfect."

Madison looked over to her, "It matches your vest."

"Precisely." She ripped open the package after checking the size.

"Hey, a blue one in my size."

"Let me see the one below it." Lennon asked but grabbed it for herself anyway. "Looks good."

Madison teased, "I thought you didn't want to match."

"As a team. Two is fine."

"Put them on, would you?" Charlotte pretty much ordered, already dressed and stuffing her other pair of pants in her bag.

"Woah, how did you change that fast?"

"Simple, Lenny. I put one arm through each sleeve and each leg through separate sides of the pants." She also hadn't bothered changing her under shirt, since it was black anyway.

"Funny. I'll be over there." Lennon hugged the package and passed Madison.

"Don't be shy, Lenny sweetie" Madison called after her, laughing.

"I am not your sweetie." She kicked off her converse sneakers. "Don't look!"

Madison shook her head and started to change too, "Like I would anyway."

Once everyone was suited up, they gathered around in a circle around the door, throwing the packages away in the waste bin.

"We'll head to the elevator, Lenny, you'll get off on Level 21 and search out the weapons locker there. It's not used often, so there shouldn't be anyone in that section. Madge and I will continue on to Level 28 and start the sweep."

"Here are your radios." Madison handed over headsets to them, "They're rigged so they will only communicate with the others. There's no need to worry about anyone listening in."

Charlotte strung it around her ear, "Really? Nice work."

"Thanks." Madison beamed and opened the door a sliver, "Looks clear."

"Here goes nothing." Charlotte motioned to move out the door, and the Plot Bunny Busters looked as casual as they possibly could walking around the SGC when anyone could walk out of any door and ask them who they were.

They held their breaths as a pair of men walked passed them, without so much as a second glance.

"So tell me why we didn't do this last night? Or tonight?" Lennon asked, constantly on the look out. She never liked military bases after the Buffy Universe.

Charlotte explained matter-of-factly, "Because though there's less people out on night shifts, we'd stand out a little more." She hit the elevator button.

"Fine. I'll leave the tactics to you, goon."

"Good, geek."

The doors started to open and they shut up, in case anyone was on it. Which there wasn't, and they breathed a collective sigh of relief.

"What does that make me? A rare breed of goon/geek hybrid?" Madison pushed '21' and '28.'

"Yep. You should be proud. Fly the colors." Lennon kept her eyes glued to the numbers counting up.

Charlotte leaned against the back wall of the elevator, "What colors would those be?"

"I don't know. I'm not a hybrid."

"Just as long they're not pink." Madison shivered at the thought of what Sues are made of.

"Can't argue there." Charlotte flashed her eyes to the numbers, "Your stop Lenny. You do have a map, right?"

"Yes, mother." The doors slid open and with a wave, she left her teammates to go on her own mini mission.

She kept walking straight through the hall, forgoing the options of turning left or right. As she approached the end, voices started to reach her ears.

"Ow! That hurts. I've told you that already, stop poking at it!"

"I have to see where _exactly_ it hurts, Dr. McKay."

She found the voices' source in the infirmary at the left end of the hall and she perched by the door, watching the scene having recognized the man.

"Everywhere on the left side! Why don't you just take an x-ray or something?" Rodney sat on a bed right inside the door complaining to who Lennon assumed was the doctor. The lab coat gave her away.

"It may not be necessary. How did this happen again?"

He crossed his arms, "I fell on the stairs at the airport, okay? Just tell me if it's broke because I have things to do."

Lennon couldn't let him blatantly lie like that, "Is that your excuse? So I shouldn't kiss it better anymore?"

Both the doctor and Rodney turned their heads to the door.

Rodney looked startled for about a nanosecond, but then fell back into his usual snark, "Mallory. You've changed clothes. They look uh… good on you."

Lennon didn't fail to notice the lady doctor chortle and she walked in the infirmary. "You still should change." She smiled when the doctor laughed again. "So, what's the verdict, Dr…"

"Fraiser. You are?"

"Mallory. I came here with Rodney." You have to love names that double as both first and last, they're harder to search for that way. "Did I break it with my right hook?"

Rodney's eyes widened and he scowled at her. She stuck her tongue out in response.

Dr. Fraiser shook her head at the thought of Dr. McKay getting punched, "I'd know if he'd let me examine him properly."

Rodney snipped, "Oh, please."

Lennon smirked and sugared her voice, "Rodney, let the good Doctor do her job."

He glared and after a moment caved in, "Fine."

Dr. Fraiser's eyebrow rose, wondering who this woman that came with the smart-ass McKay was and finished her examination in sweet silence. She stepped back, "Lucky for you, your… colleague…"

Rodney opened his mouth to protest, but Lennon hit him in the arm.

"Didn't break anything, but I'd advise you not giving her a reason to try again."

Rodney scowled again, hopped off the bed, grabbed his bag, and as he slung it on his shoulder, passed by Lennon.

Lennon plastered a smile on, "Thank you Dr. Fraiser," and caught up with him as he turned toward the elevator.

He saw her there, "You let her think you're my colleague? What's up with that?"

"I'm supposed to be blending in the wings here, if you know what I mean."

"Not exactly. If you haven't noticed, we have a bit of a situation here. Anubis is hell-bent on destroying the Gate and us along with it, so see ya around. I have to see a certain blonde down in the Control Room." He kept walking and she let him go.

Lennon spun back around, barely refraining from swearing all the way to the weapons store room. They had broken into the SGC in the middle of a crisis.

**TBC...**

* * *

**A/N:** Well, if you haven't figured it out, this takes place during Season 6 of SG:1 _Redemption_. Fun, fun, fun! 

(hugs Janet) I still get teary eyed from _Heroes_.

As always, leave me something so I know whether or not you like it, thanks!


	3. Arrow Attack

**A/N:** Time for your regulary scheduled update...**  
**

**

* * *

Part 3**

One eye was kept on the surrounding area and the other focused on manipulating the ID scanner that controlled who was let in and out of the weapons store room. Their Visitors passes Head Quarters had issued them worked for the elevator, but not for more secure scanners. The little red light kept going off, irritating Lennon to no end. Once the green light lit up, she slipped in the door, ready to let out one hell of a scream. Walking into a two-part worthy situation was _not_ supposed to be happening.

"Charlie!" She yelled into her radio's mouthpiece.

"_Can't talk right now."_

"You want to hear this."

"_Shh!"_

"Don't shush me!"

She listened and got nothing but static, worrying her even more than she already was. Were they in trouble?

Rather than search the room in the dark, she fiddled the wall for a light switch. The lights revealed shelves of cases, and upon further inspection, dust. Lots and lots of dust.

"Ugh…haven't they heard of Pledge?" Setting aside worry, she started to open cases in search of the snake-like zats, and ooed and ahhed over the other weapons she found, wondering if she could smuggle a few out. But then she got to the case of C4 explosive and started flailing her arms around in excitement and started making plans to swing by and pick up the whole case before they left.

The zats were along the back wall and she shoved two in her bag for her teammates before really inspecting them. With the right grip, she got it to unfurl and get ready to fire.

"_So what were you gonna say?"_

"About time, Charlie, what the hell happened?"

"_It's a little hectic down here. There are people running around like mad."_

"Yeah, when the Gate is charging up to explode, that tends to happen."

"_How do you know that?"_

"A little birdie told me… erm… McKay."

"_Lenny!"_

"Yes, Madge?"

"_You talked to a canon?"_

Lennon gaped, stammered, and froze in shock. The next sound coming out of her mouth was a sharp yell as a pain erupted in her left leg.

"Ow! Damn it!" She immediately reached down and saw an arrow protruding out of her calf. Her eyes followed behind her, catching sight of a fluffy pink bunny. It was sitting on its haunches, still holding the bow in its front two paws, ears folded back along its head, bright dewy black eyes, and a red arrow quiver on its back in between white feathery wings.

If it wasn't for the evil glare in its eyes, it would have been rather cute.

Not having to think about it, Lennon shot it with the zat and continued to swear worse than a sailor as she yanked the red arrow out.

"_Lenny!"_

"_What's going on?"_

She eyed the heart-shaped arrowhead and with disgust shot the little pink bunny two more times, vaporizing it. "I just got SHOT by a ship-bunny is what's going on! I'm getting out of here, grabbing some C4 and leaving!"

"_That's a little drastic, don't you think?"_ Madison's eye rolling practically came through the radio.

"No it's not! I do _not_ want, no, I refuse to be shipped with anyone! Not gonna happen. No way. Especially by a _fluff_ bunny!"

"_It wears off by itself if the ship isn't completed. Just don't touch anyone for the next few hours."_

"_Least not me. I like you and everything, but I don't want to find myself in a maintenance room making out with you."_

"Thanks for sounding so concerned, especially you Madge. You know as well as I do a slash bunny is needed for that. Did I mention I got shot in the leg with an arrow? I'm not going to be able to climb out of here."

"_Ship arrows don't penetrate much."_

"But they _hurt_."

"_I know, I'll take a look at it when we get there. Did you kill the bunny?"_

"Yes I killed it, what did you think, I was going to cuddle with it?"

Madison expanded on her question, _"With a zat or…"_

"Zatted and vaporized. I'm still in the weapons store room." Her head started to get fuzzy. "Oh no… it's starting… I need some water." She dug in her pack.

"_Fuzzy? Blurry? Want someone to love? Etc?"_

"Yeah. I'm going to wipe out every stupid ship bunny in every stupid little fandom with my bare hands! They take perfectly happy canons and make them love-sick little puppy dogs, pairing them with any and everything! It ain't happening to me, nuh uh! And now I'm even out of water!"

"_Lenny!"_

She ignored Charlotte, "What a day! Didn't HQ know about the crisis here before they sent us out? It's one thing to stroll into a fandom in between stories, but this!"

"_Listen, Geek!"_

"What?"

"_Stay there. We'll meet you in a few minutes."_

"Oh, no. I can't stay in this dusty room dehydrating."

Madison offered, _"We'll bring you some water."_

"There could be another vicious little ship bunny lurking, including of the smut variety." She started walking around, checking under shelves and in corners for any more.

"_You're already shot, and you knew this was a possibility coming in here."_

"I'd prefer not to get shot again and as for the risk, yeah I knew about it, but a fluff bunny hasn't snuck up on me before! They're worse than horror bunnies, at least you get ominous music with those! I'd take a horror bunny over a ship bunny any day!"

"_Don't leave that room. You could bump into someone, and then where would we be?"_

"_We_? I'm the one who'd be shipped with some random person!"

"_Deep breaths, we'll be right there, and don't move. I'll make it an order, you hear me?"_

"I'm not deaf, I'm almost shipped!" She ripped off her headset, stuffed the zat in the back of her waistband covered by the blue uniform shirt and left the room fuming and vexed.

Though she was careful not to touch anyone, the effects of the arrow affecting her emotions and drew her to people, also causing her to walk with a slightly-off gait because of the wound. Before she knew it, she was down a floor and in the mess hall, grabbing a mug of coffee, glass of water, and a bagel.

No one gave her a second glance, and she thanked the uniform for that. Eyeing a place to sit, she spied McKay sitting quite alone, absorbed in some files.

Smirking, she strolled over and plopped on the chair in front of him. "Hi, Rodney."

"Mallory! Uh… what are you doing here?" He looked around the room as if deciding if it was all a joke.

"No 'hi, how you've been? Nice to see you again?' " She took a long gulp of her water.

"It'd have to be nice for me to say that."

"Be that way, no wonder you're sitting by yourself."

"I have work to do." He hastily opened a file and lowered his eyes to it.

Lennon started on her coffee and bagel, "Shouldn't you work in a lab or an office?"

"Here's fine." He kept his eyes glued to the paper and gestured to the room, "I can concentrate pretty much anywhere."

She looked down at what he was reading and noticed she could read it perfectly, "Is that why that's upside down?"

Rodney's face turned bright red and he slammed the file shut. "Why are you following me?" He crossed his arms expectantly.

"I am not following you, I was thirsty."

"Right. That's it. And you just happened to walk by the infirmary. You _knew_ I was going there. I told you at the gas station."

"Aren't you full of yourself."

"When one's a genius…"

"Why can't you figure out this problem with the Gate then?"

"All in time, as they say."

"You don't have time though."

"There's still hours." He opened the file folder and started reading again.

"What's that?" Curiosity got the best of her and she reached for it.

"No, no," he slapped her hand away, "you don't have clearance for…"

Lennon pulled her hand back, rubbing where he touched it. "Oh no."

His eyes locked with hers and they stared.

"I gotta go." She launched up and left him staring, clearly feeling the effects.

---

"She left her pack?" Charlotte half-exclaimed.

Madison kicked it with her foot, "The only other time she did that was at Langly's."

Charlie smacked her forehead, "Oh crap, she really did get shot by a shipper bunny."  
"And Langly was all her own willpower, Lenny on a shipper bunny's effects…" Madge trailed off.

"Is not going to be good. We need to find her and keep her away from people for the next couple hours."

"What if she's made skin-skin contact?"

"We'll have to scrub the mission and drag her out of here. Stun her if we have to." Charlotte knelt and pulled out a zat from Lennon's bag.

"This has gone from bad to worse." Madison commented as she thought about her teammate's whereabouts. "She might be in the mess hall."

"Check in out and do a sweep of that floor, I'll stay here in case she decides to follow orders and come back. The door will be closed, so radio me."

Madison shook her head, "I can't believe she left the door open."

"Ship bunnies are notorious for affecting judgment. Never expected one to be in here. Probably a scout."

"The infirmary is close by, a favorite place for them to strike."

Charlotte nodded, "Good point."

"Thanks. Be right back with our lost geek." Madison quietly slipped out of the weapons store room, turned the corner, and ran into a man in a close-fitting army green tee shirt and slightly lighter pants. She stumbled, but he caught her and lifted her back to her feet.

Her face flushed with embarrassment, she looked up at the man, still locked in his arms.

"Are you alright?" He moved his hands to her arms.

"Yes…" She smiled and took him in, it couldn't have been who she thought… Jonas… something…

"Good." He stepped back and gave a huge smile as he held out his hand, "Hi, I'm Jonas Quinn."

"Quinn? Really?"

"Is that a problem or…"

"No, I knew someone with that name."

"Really? I suppose names could carry over to other societies considering the Goa'uld spread humanity through the Galaxy." He gave her one of those smiles again and she felt like she was the one hit by the arrow.

"Right. I really need to be going." She pointed down the hall as much as she didn't want to, but she was getting worried for her teammate.

"Wait, you didn't tell me your name."

She grinned, hoping she looked put together, "It's Madison. Madison… Frohike."

"Until we run into each other again."

"Or I run into you." She smiled and continued on her way.

At the elevators, she waited for them to open, and when they did, a frazzled looking Lennon stepped out.

"Lenny! You look…something you ate disagree with you?"

"No." They started back to the store room. "There are just too many people around."

"Hence Charlie _ordering_ you to stay put. Man are you in trouble." Madison almost hit her lightly in the arm, but stopped even though a ship needed skin-skin contact.

"Blame it on the craziness induced by possible ship."

"That excuse isn't going to hold out for long."

"We'll see." Lennon swallowed, hoping she'd be able to keep the ship a secret, she didn't want to have to scrub the mission.

* * *

**A/N:** Jonas Quinn sequence inspired by Elizabeth Bartlett's review... just couldn't resist.

Ship bunnies, pure evil. Seriously.

Click the little box, thanks!


	4. Bunnies Attack

**A/N:** Soo sorry for updating later than I usually do. It's a combination of a large Writer's Block, the three day Twilight Zone marathon on the SciFi channel, and the holiday weekend.

On a side note, rabbits are taking over my gardens!

There was a mother rabbit that ran away from the flower bed when I went out there with the dog, but her little baby stayed. It eventually went and found its mother.

Then the next day I was down the dead flowers and found two almost newborn rabbits in a little depression…but the home was cut away, so I had to move them further down. The mother found them though, phew.

And today when I was watering the veggie garden, the first baby rabbit appeared out of nowhere in the garden! It's even fenced in… and it couldn't get out. So there was me, in my bare feet, running back and forth among the tomatoes, tomatillos, peppers, and zucchini trying to catch a hold of something that could fit in the palm of my hand and outrun me.

It disappeared, but then I found it caught where the chicken wire was rolled up, so after freeing it from there, it was still running around at the other end, jumping at the fence, then (poof) it got out when I wasn't looking. Bizarre. Really need to figure that out...

Ahh, I rambled. Well, welcome to a writer's life. Carry on.

* * *

**Part 4**

"Where have you been?" Charlotte's temper was barely contained as she clenched her fists.

"You know when you look at me like that, you _really_ start looking like Scully when she's pissed at Mulder. The red hair completes the look." Lennon looked around, dark eyes avoiding looking at her superior any longer than she had to.

Charlotte continued, "I smell coffee on you."

"You never cease to amaze me." She saw what she was looking for in the corner and practically dove to it.

Madison shook her head, "You really did go to the mess hall, one of the most populated places…"

"No new crises have popped up." Lennon bit her lip at the half-truth and dug around in her pack for no other reason than for something to do. She could feel eyes burning on her back.

Madison knelt beside her, "How's the leg?"

"Hurts."

"Let me look then."

Lennon sat on the floor and let Madison clean the arrow wound up, hissing at the burn of rubbing alcohol.

Charlotte didn't quite believe her, but decided to go with it. If anything serious happened, Lennon would have been the first one to freak out. "You're staying here for the next couple hours, Madge and I will start the sweep of Level 28."

Lennon looked up from the floor, "I am perfectly fit to bunny hunt."

"You're staying here until the arrow's powers wear off."

Lennon swallowed, knowing they weren't going to, at least not in the way Charlie believed.

Madison smiled and stood, "Besides, you can play around with weapons."

They all couldn't help but to laugh a little as Charlotte and Madge left. As soon as they did, Lennon went straight into sulking.

Her team didn't trust her, and they were partly right, she was keeping the ship with Rodney a secret. They probably thought she'd throw herself at the guy she'd be shipped with or something… well, they were wrong. It wasn't going to happen, it wasn't going to affect her work, she was determined for it not to, and to prevent it from going anywhere. Dr. Rodney McKay was quite safe from any advances.

Though she did have the rather strong urge to track him down, glomp him, get lost in his blue eyes, kiss his lips, and take him shopping. The man really needed a new wardrobe.

She browsed the store room, kicking up dust everywhere, and stumbled across a hoard of tranquilizer guns.

"We could use these… Maybe tranq Rodney and take-"

She smacked herself in the head to prevent the thought from going any further.

Xxx

…_Couple hours later…_

"Behind you!"

Madison spun around and zatted the winged ship bunny twice, before it could fire its notched arrow. "Thanks."

"Yeah." Charlotte peeked through a shelf to the corner. Fluffy rabbit fur of two shades of pink, white feathers, tufts of cotton, and chewed bits of cloth lined the floors and walls as a bed, extending under the metal shelves.

"How could they not have noticed a whole den on the same level as the Gate?" Madison question as she looked over to the little army of ship bunnies. All on their haunches gripping their bows and firing at the Busters.

"It's tucked away, out of sight."

Madison let loose a volley of shots while little red arrows flew at them, "They don't just stay in here."

Charlotte ducked an arrow that flew at her head through the opening above the contents of the shelf, "Course not, but it doesn't mean they're seen." She fired a few shots from the zat.

"You mean to tell me every person in this place has not noticed pink bunnies running around?

"Yeah."

"I'm used to fandoms where the bunnies have taken over, so I have to be missing something about them in healthy ones." Madison had to move a foot over when some of the bunnies started to make her position.

Charlotte explained, never taking her eyes off the bunnies, "Sometimes SEP leaks over into other universes, especially scifi ones."

She started the assault again, "'K, but since when did the Hitchhiker Guide's canon tech start doing that?"

Charlotte shrugged, "Coincided with the plot bunny plague, but it's not official, just something I've run across."

"Not official?"

Both of them dove to the ground, lying head-to-head, as a sudden heavy concentration of arrows were fired at them, all aimed well to fly through the shelves.

Charlotte answered, peeking under the bottom shelf to see little pink feet, "Specifically."

"But the Crossover is."

"Yeah. The crossover bunnies make our job that much harder, especially in the Buffy Universes."

"Totally."

They resumed firing from their prone positions.

Madison observed, "The field generator should be around here somewhere."

"_Uh, guys?"_ Lennon's hectic voice came over their radios.

Charlotte responded quickly, "We're busy."

"_You're always busy."_

"When we're on a job, yeah. Call back later." The volley of arrows began dying down as they whittled away at the bunnies' numbers.

"_It's important! I got kicked out of our hideaway."_

"By who?"

"_A couple shipped by a smut bunny!"_

…_Several minutes earlier…_

The store of explosives couldn't even distract Lennon's mind from drifting to thoughts of Rodney, from wanting to be around him. After getting all pretty in the stereotypical way, which so wasn't her.

So she was banging her head against the edge of shelf, and it temporarily went away.

It was one thing she did want to think about. It went _way_ beyond anything she signed off on as possible outcomes of the mission. Rodney? Ack! It couldn't have been anyone else but a self-absorbed sexist jerk. _Someone_ had to be messing around with her.

She looked up to where the sky would be if she wasn't hundreds of feet below the surface, "One of these days, Techie!"

The lights flickered and shut off, causing her to jump at the unexpected response. "Huh, so Techie made a new friend." She scoffed, "Just what I needed."

She heard the door slide open and noises trailed in, smacking noises specifically. She peered through the line of metal shelves and immediately wished she didn't. There was just enough light from the always-on orange-yellow bulb over the doorway to see a shortish man in one of those short-sleeve Air Force shirts and a woman dressed in a nurse's outfit not issued by Stargate Command practically in each other's clothes.

Her hand flew up to cover her eyes, which were already permanently scarred anyway.

"All these weapons just make me so incredibly…" The 'nurse' finished her sentence with a moan.

Lennon gagged and she _knew_ she _had_ to get out of there before they really started playing nurse. She grabbed her insanely heavy pack as there were shuffling noises. Plugging her ears, she started to make her way around the couple to the door. But stuff still filtered through, including giggles, moans, and shelves being pushed against.

"Walter…"

"My naughty nurse…" More kissing noises followed the unzipping of something Lennon did not want to imagine, and she bolted out of the door, wanting to scream and throw up the bagel she had earlier.

Keying her radio, she flew down the hall.

…_Back to the Present…_

"They didn't actually kick you out…" At least, that's what Charlotte hoped.

"_What was I gonna do? Watch?"_

"There were other options." Madison peered over the shelf, still lying down, but ducked her head when an arrow came straight at her.

"_Don't make me sick."_

Charlotte asked, "Where are you now?"

"_Bathroom."_

Madison picked her head back up, "Perfect place to get sick."

"Get down here."

"_But what about me being shipped?"_ Lennon caught herself,_ "The possibility…"_

"Screw it. Just be careful. We're in the third door to your left on the right side of the hall."

"_Got it."_

The radio disconnected and the arrows completely stopped. Madison and Charlotte looked over to the den, seeing only fallen bunnies.

"Fluff _and_ smut bunnies…" Madison shook her head at the two colors of ship bunnies, the fluff bunnies being a lighter pink and furrier while the smut bunnies were darker and smoother.

"Lethal combination."

They slowly rose to their feet and stretched.

"That's the cleanest destruction of a den I've seen."

Charlotte nodded, "It's a relief not to have bunny bits all over us."

* * *

**A/N:** Also sorry it was shorter, but I figured you all would want it up sooner rather than later.

Oooh I should mention SEP is from Life, Universe, and Everything in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. From Wikipedia for all you who haven't read the books (which you should!): -When somebody, or something, is surrounded by a SEP field, the human brain perceives it as "somebody else's problem", and therefore will be incapable of paying attention to the object (or even seeing it, or recognizing its existence) unless it is being specifically looked for. In order for this to work, however, the object being hidden by the field must be sufficiently bizarre.-

Questions? Comments? Snide Remarks?


	5. Sweeping

**A/N:** Soo sorry for the bit of a wait, the block on this story wouldn't go away for a while, but we're good now. And this is the longest chapter yet!

Thanks to Techie for releasing a few plot bunnies on me.

* * *

**Part 5**

"Relaxing on the job?"

Charlotte retorted, "Next time you clean out a ship den and dodge hundreds of arrows." She and Madison were sitting on the ground with their backs to the wall.

"So now you're worried about ship arrows? Where was the concern when I was _shot_?" Lennon looked over to the remains of the den, the fallen bunnies were still there.

Madison looked up at her, "You're fine. It wasn't as if it was a whump bunny."

"Ship bunnies are worse. Especially smut." Lennon shivered trying to burn a certain mental image from her mind.

"Don't I know it." Charlotte motioned to the den, "You're on clean-up duty."

"What? You two have been sitting here doing nothing and I have to clean this up?"

"It won't take long with the zat, and you haven't been doing anything for the past few hours. You should welcome something to break the tedium."

"I've just been scarred for life by a smut couple! That's something neither of you can say."

Madison smiled, her zat lying next to her, "It was my idea to save you some revenge."

Lennon's face twisted a little with surprise, "That was…nice of you Madge."

She beamed, "I thought you'd like it."

Charlotte snorted, "We haven't got all day."

"Channeling the Helping Hands now?" Lennon shook her head and set to work zatting everything in the den to vaporize it.

"Who said they were helpful?" Charlotte retorted.

Madison cocked her head questionally, "You've met them?" She pulled out a sports bottle from her pack.

"Oh yeah. Had to smack every one of them for groping in inappropriate areas."

Madison spluttered on the water and started coughing, Lennon laughed as she continued the cleanup.

"When was that?" Madison asked after she recovered.

"One of my first jobs."

"That's a weird universe to send you to as a new buster."

Lennon commented, wrapping up the cleaning, "HQ, throwing babes to the wolves."

"It was not that bad. Labyrinth exposed me to bizarre creatures, something you see a lot in this job."

"Done." Lennon shoved the curled zat in her waistband, "Next stop amnesia bunnies."

"And the SEP field generator." Charlotte got to her feet.

"Really? There's 'Somebody Else's Problem' going on here?"

"Yep." Madison gathered her things.

"As Madge observed, there's no other reasonable way a base full of people devoted to exploring other worlds would not notice strange little creatures on base."

"Well it isn't in here, so it could be with the amnesia bunnies. They like to make memories vanish." Lennon's mind started going a mile an minute, wondering if she could use it to her advantage somehow.

"We've swept this floor, let's carry on to the others. We should split up into a pair and single, three of us walking around would be too obvious. I'll go alone, you two go together."

"I'd rather go alone."

"Lenny…"

Madison defended, "I don't need someone to go with me."

"Should I remind you two I'm the commander of this team?"

"It's a really big base, we should cover it as quickly as we can."

"Yep." Madison agreed.

Charlotte had the urge to wipe the grins off both of their faces. They were the source of her migraines, but she wouldn't have it any other way. "Fine. Lenny take the geek floors, if someone stops you, just techno babble them to death. They're going to be wrapped up in the Gate problem so they shouldn't be in the mood to talk. Madge, take the three below those, the infirmary, mess, and emergency power. You know quite a bit about those, so babble as necessary too. I'll take the ones immediately above us. We'll meet on Level 17. It's not used very much, the first one there find a rallying point. Keep your radios on."

Lennon and Madison skipped to the door, equally satisfied, with Charlotte shaking her head after them.

_---Some time later---_

"_Hey Lenny?"_

"Yeah?"

"_I sorta need your help."_

"Shoot."

"_I've been trying to get in the emergency power grid."_

"See the little latch on the right side of the ID scanner?"

"_Already open."_

"Cross the blue and pink wires, then the pink with the sage green."

"_Sage green? I only see a jungle and a forest green."_

"There's definitely a sage green one."

"_Do you mean the forest one?"_

"I said sage!"

"_But there isn't a sage."_

"Just go with the forest then."

There was a moment of silence followed by, _"Hey it worked. Thanks."_

"Yep."

Lenny kept moving, listening to sounds of the SGC's manufacturing level. The bangs and clanks made for one hell of noise pollution.

She stopped when a tiny brown rabbit crossed at the end of the hall. It was simple and normal looking. If it hadn't been for the give-away fact it was hopping around in the middle of an underground base, it could have been a very normal rabbit. But Lennon knew better.

She needed that bunny. Rodney had to forget about her. It was fine when it was just a ride and coffee in the mess, but now a ship bunny affected them. That wasn't good. She couldn't leave it like that, so she tried sweet talking it, "Hey little amnesia bunny."

But it kept going on its way and disappeared from her view so she followed. Actually catching a plot bunny was difficult, especially without a trap on her, but the zat was going to come in handy. It didn't even have recoil to it.

She turned the corner to find the little bunny gone.

"That's just not right! There's no way…"

At feeling something rub against her ankle, she looked down. "How did you…" She bent to pick it up, but thought it a better idea not to do that and took a couple steps back. "Okay, so if I pick you up, you won't bite me, right?"

It looked up at her, longs ears sticking out behind its head. It proceeded to blink and rub its face with its front paws.

"You're just a baby. To zat or not to zat… probably best to keep you stunned so you don't bite me." She pulled out the zat from her waistband and fired one shot at the bunny, and it fell over with a twitch.

Carrying it around in her hand wasn't really an option, so she knelt on one knee and opened her pack. "Never go anywhere without your towel." She muttered and pulled out a flower-printed, baby blue, pink, and white towel that no one ever saw or it would harm her reputation and wrapped the baby bunny up. After gently placing it at the very top of her pack where it hopefully wouldn't get squished, she swung the pack on again and set off.

_---Few minutes later---_

Madison had successfully cleared a whole level, by herself thank you very much, and she was riding high as she walked into the mess hall. Every room, even ones with a frequent flow of people, had to be quietly checked since SEP was going on.

She couldn't just stroll around the room, so she fell in the short line at the food counter, immediately recognizing the man in front of her. She debated whether or not to grab his attention. Being a Bunny Buster meant knowing how to remain inconspicuous, and being on an Air Force base made it that much more important. It wasn't as if she could pose as just walking by on the street and being a normal person.

Her eyes surveyed the room, her mind trained to process the space and the people occupying it.

The man glanced behind him, and did a double take. "Madison, we meet again."

She smiled, "Hi Jonas, you can call me Madge if you want."

"That's a sweet nickname." The line moved down and he took two trays, giving her one.

"Thanks. Do you have a nickname or is it always 'Jonas?' "

"Not ones I've liked." He said a few words to the cook and got the entrée.

"I've been through that." She shook her head to the cook, not wanting the cubes of some sort of meat in gravy.

"We seem to be running into each other a lot lately." He took a banana and a dish of red jello, "How is it I've never seen you before?"

Madison opted for the blue jello and a sandwich, "I thought you were pretty new here, and you can't meet everyone on the base." They moved out of the line and walked together to the tables.

"That's very true. Would you like to sit with me?" He smiled hopefully and gestured to the table they stopped at.

"Really?"

"It's okay if you don't want to…"

"I'd like to."

Equally smiling, they sat down across from each other, Jonas placing a composition notebook next to his tray.

"So what is it you do here?"

Madison refrained from biting her lip, knowing she had to lie, "I'm a nurse."

"I'm not in the infirmary very much. Maybe I should swing by more often." He smiled playfully.

This time she did bite her lower lip, "This is my last day."

"Don't you like it here?"

"I go where the job takes me."

"Do you move often?"

"The job takes me a lot of places, but I do keep an apartment on the beach. It's my home base." She smiled at the thought of it.

"At the west or east coast?" He asked, working on the red jello.

"West. Southern California."

"No hurricanes, sunny year round. Good choice."

"I thought you weren't from Earth, how do you know that?"

"The Weather Channel."

Madison couldn't help but to laugh.

He grinned, enjoying making her laugh, "Really, it's a very interesting channel."

"Out of all the channels, that's what you watch?"

"Meteorology is a very interesting science. To actually predict something so fickle with any accuracy is astounding."

"But they're usually wrong."

"Details are tricky, but overall they're pretty good."

"Even with the chance of rain? All the percentages? I'm waiting for them to say 50percent chance of rain and admit they have no idea."

It was Jonas's turn to laugh.

---_Meanwhile---_

A very confused Rodney McKay leaned back in the desk chair, twirling a pencil and staring at the ceiling. He really should have been working, but his thoughts just wouldn't focus.

And it was all because of one woman.

One very peculiar woman.

Lennon Mallory had this way of putting him on edge though he knew nothing about her other than she was a maniac and was walking to Cheyenne Mountain from wherever it was she came from. And she had a thing for humiliating him in front of people. It was bad enough at the gas station, but on base at the infirmary was a little much.

He couldn't even read properly when she just sat down by him in the mess hall, partly because he never expected to see her again and from pure shock that she sat by him. And then she bolts off after he swatted her hand away. What was that all about? He doubted she had clearance to read what he was working on.

He had wanted to run after her, but his legs had gone all jello-like and refused to move.

Since when did he want to chase after a woman that was not a blonde? And geeky, and not even wearing anything pink?

Maybe he could get her a little pink ensemble…from Victoria's Secret…

He shook his head, he shouldn't have been thinking about her. He didn't want to think about her. But he wanted to be around her at the same time, hold her, and never let her go.

What the hell was going on?

"Hey, Rodney."

His eyes flashed to the door to register Lennon walking in as he leaned a little too far back in the chair and fell backwards.

* * *

**A/N:** Let me feel the love : - ) 


	6. Shippiness

**A/N:** Hey, I'm updating on time… which means every other day. The plot bunnies attacked for this chapter pretty strongly.

* * *

**Part 6**

Lennon didn't bother stifling her laughter at Rodney on the ground, wrapped up in the desk chair. She had just started sweeping the science floors when she noticed him through the open door.

"Yes, laugh at the man on the ground. I could've broken my back." He rolled to the side and started getting up. "And I have a very sensitive back."

"I'm sure you do." She continued laughing and placed her pack on the desk, hopping up next to it.

"It's a medical fact." Now on his feet, he picked up the swivel chair. He snarked, "What do you want?"

"Why are you never happy to see me?" She snipped back.

"I don't have a reason to be happy. You hit me, humiliated me, walked out on me…" Which was all true, but his heart was going a mile a minute, perturbing him even more.

"You like it." What did she just say?

He was still standing in front of the desk, almost eye to eye with her. He crossed his arms in defiance, "Why would I?"

"Female attention." She eyed the hideous brown clothes he was wearing as she swung her legs off the desk. "Something you don't get very often." She really needed to get him shopping.

Mentally smacking herself, she broke that line of thought.

Rodney huffed, "I get plenty of female attention." His eyes passed over her lips.

"That's doubtful."

"And how much attention do you get?" He asked rather sarcastically.

"There was this time I stumbled into the wrong bar and this woman bought me a drink thinking-"

"Male attention, Mallory."

"I knew what you meant." She eyed her pack and slid one hand in it. "How's the potentially explosive Gate problem?"

"The vain attempt by Carter to use the naquadriah to generate a hyperspace window in the X-302 failed, just as I … and that little alien guy, Jonas… something, predicted. Impending doom is still upon us."

She wanted to keep him talking to distract him as she felt for the bunny, "Impending doom always sucks."

He slowly inched closer to the desk, "Speaking from experience?"

He was close enough she could feel his body heat, so she leaned back consciously, though she felt her heart wanting to get closer, "Why would I tell you?" She felt the baby amnesia bunny moving through the towel, so she assumed it was awake.

"You're the one who keeps popping up and annoying me."

"Me, annoying you?"

"What else do you call it?"

Lennon gently closed her hand around the bunny in her pack and flashed her eyes up to determine where Rodney was standing.

It was a little close.

Without a thought in his mind, only the ship feelings taking over, Rodney leaned and put his lips to hers.

She pulled back, but he leaned more and under the influence of her own ship feelings, put both of her arms around his neck.

Rodney braced himself with one hand on the desk and one around her waist as his thighs bumped the desk's edge, Lennon's legs on either side of him.

And just as suddenly as the kissing began it stopped when sanity surged up through Lennon and she tore away from him. Her hand came up and she slapped him. The sound echoed through the lab and probably out into the hallway.

He gaped, rubbing his cheek, "Why did you do that for?"

"You kissed me!"

"You kissed me back!"

"I did not!"

"Unless I have two tongues, one of those was yours!"

"You could be some sort of mutant!" Fuming, Lennon realized they were still very close to each other. She pulled her legs up, spun, and hopped off the side of the desk.

As she was in the process of doing that, Major Samantha Carter appeared at the doorway. She stared questionally at Rodney's flushed and angry face, and at the woman who was hopping off the desk from a suspicious position.

"Am I interrupting something?" Carter both hoped she was and wasn't. If she was maybe McKay would forget about her, but then she hoped she wasn't because the thought of walking in on something of that nature was very disturbing.

"Yes!" Rodney snipped as Lennon hissed "No!"

"I'll just come back…" Carter turned to leave but Lennon brushed passed her, pack in hand.

Lennon hissed, "He's all yours," and tried to keep her pace at a normal speed, but it ended up as a jog until she got around the corner.

She was swearing like an angry chef and slapping both of her cheeks along with banging her head against the wall.

Someone in a lab coat walked passed, looking at her strangely.

She didn't care at the moment and collected herself.

It was just a kiss.

One hell of a kiss.

But just one.

No big deal.

A –need a cold shower- kiss.

It didn't mean anything.

It couldn't.

No way.

She kissed him back.

And it was good.

Real good.

Maybe…

She shook her head and kept moving down the hall, taking deep breaths.

It was all because of a stupid ship bunny.

_---Meanwhile---_

"Come to see my ideas? Typical. When your plan doesn't work you come running to me."

Carter clenched her teeth, "I was heading down to my lab when I realized I didn't have the notes on the Gate's internal capacitors."

He shoved his hands in his pockets, "What makes you think I have them?"

"Because they're right there."

He followed where she was pointing, "Oh. I told you I was gonna copy them."

"No, McKay. You didn't."

"You didn't hear me then."

She picked up the file, "You would have had to say something for me to hear it."

"It isn't my fault you have bad hearing."

"My hearing's perfect. Unlike your skills with whoever that was."

He tried to cover, "Mallory's my assistant." So she led Fraiser to believe she was a colleague, he'll lead Carter to think she was a mere assistant.

"I'm sure." She started to leave.

"She is, really. We were just having a discussion about, um…" He snapped his fingers.

Carter waved behind her with the hand clutching the file, "Don't want to know McKay."

Rodney sunk down in his chair, wondering when the hell his life got so complicated.

_---Still Meanwhile, and after…Have to move the timeline along after all---_

_Boring…_ Charlotte mused as she continued to clear the SG team housing floor. For her, it had been a completely regular job. Which wasn't bad and everything, it was just… boring. Dull. _Routine_.

Level 27, the level that included the briefing room and General Hammond's office had even gone rather smoothly. No one had really bugged her as they were all focused on the Gate slowly building up energy from an incoming wormhole.

It was kind of… weird. The SGC was a beyond top-secret Air Force facility, one would think security within the place would be a little more… secure.

Though security on top was damn tough. The Busters had to stay in the hatch and descend to Level 13 to bypass the security checkpoint post NORAD and pre SGC. So it wasn't as if the SGC expected anyone to bust in successfully. And there were so many people running around, it was hard to know every staff member by face.

So, along with the rest of her team, Charlotte was unbothered by security as she cleared levels of plot bunnies. But she hadn't even had a conversation with anyone, let alone (and unknown to her) lunch with a canon and kissing a guest-canon.

Which meant of course, something was about to happen to her or this part would be a waste of valuable time and space.

She knocked on the door in front of her, and when it opened she plastered on her annoyed-technician look. "We're having a few issues with the Base's wiring. I need to check your room…" She guessed his rank, "Captain."

He narrowed his eyes, "Major Lorne. What sort of problems?" He asked, looking both alarmed and skeptical.

Great. She got a curious one. "Lights have been flickering on several levels. Nothing to worry about, unless you want old wires sparking a fire in your quarters…sir."

"Come in then." He moved to the side, keeping an eye on her as she marched in with her pack, which actually added to the technician effect.

As she dug out the rectangular piece of tech she had been passing off as a sort of electrical field detector, she felt his eyes watching her like she was doing something wrong.

Which, she kind of was after all. Didn't mean she had to like his scrutinizing eyes, but she bite her tongue so as not to cause any more questions and walked all around the room with the piece of tech, held to the walls, keeping an eye out for anything with two ears and a tail.

After a few minutes and not finding anything, she announced, "It seems you're safe."

"Good to know. This isn't part of the Gate problem is it?"

"Completely unrelated." She said for about the hundredth time that day, and left.

She followed the same procedure for the next few quarters, and jimmied open the doors with no answers. A few bunnies, both ship and amnesia, met their vaporized ends. But there was still no amnesia bunny den, not surprising her since she was clearing the living quarters which were used too often.

Her fist was about to fall on another door when it opened.

"Hello…something I can do for you?"

Charlotte instantly recognized him from the files Head Quarters had, "I need to take a look at your quarters, Colonel. There's been a problem on several levels with the lighting." She waved the little rectangular piece of tech for effect.

"Be my guest." Jack stepped aside and she walked in. "Just don't go in that drawer, or that one… oooh definitely not that one." He pointed accordingly.

She refrained from rolling her eyes, "Okay, sir."

"I was just leaving, so close the door on the way out."

"Yes, sir." She watched him stroll out, letting herself enjoy the view. Looking doesn't hurt.

On the next level, she walked passed a few technical staff, which didn't surprise her in the least since it was where the MALP and such bays were located.

But there was a weird air floating the down the hall… empty almost. Dark, hazy.

Rolling her shoulders, Charlotte continued down the hall, after the source of the air, knowing what it would mean.

The amnesia bunny den.

She looked at the bottoms of doors, including the large bay doors and one rather odd and out of place wooden door.

Finally, she came upon the source. A door about the size of two regular doors. Hazy air was seeping out from the impossibly thin space under the door, and she swore there was dust.

They really needed a better cleaning crew in the place.

This time rolling her head, she hit the button opening the door. It slid open and Charlotte struggled to see through into the dark room, so she stepped in about a foot.

The door closed behind her seemingly on its own.

Lights flickered on and she saw the amnesia bunnies in their den, a cylinder metal contraption in the far left corner.

But there weren't just a few brown bunnies, but hundreds. And they were staring at her with beady black evil eyes.

About a hundred smirked.

"Oh crap." She muttered.

Then she noticed one bunny directly to her left, perched on top of a stack of crates next to the door buttons.

She pulled out the zat and activated her radio and the same time, "There's a situation…"

* * *

**A/N:** I just had to give Charlie some fic time. It was nagging at me.

Shippiness with Lennon/McKay is so fun to write, how was it to read?


	7. Bunny Musical

**A/N:** We're now in _Redemption Pt.2_ in case anyone is wondering.

Since Techie's going to be mentioning some of the events here in WPBA, I guess I should keep this moving along, eh?

No pressure. Lol.

* * *

**Part 7**

"What is it Charlie?" Lenny stepped out of the lab she was currently investigating.

She heard Madison through the radio too, _"You okay?"_

"_I'm trapped with about three hundred amnesia bunnies on Level 24, does that answer your question?"_

"Get out of there!" Lennon hissed as she moved somewhere between speed walking and jogging towards the elevator.

"_I would, but one's guarding the button to open the door."_

"_Shoot it."_

"_If I fire, I won't have time to get out because they'll all attack and there goes my memory for good."_

Lennon tapped her foot waiting for the elevator and wished the place had stairs she could fly down, "I'll be right there."

"_Me too."_

"_Hurry it up… they have that look."_

"I'm trying, but unfortunately Scotty is preoccupied and can't beam us over." She rushed in the empty elevator and impatiently hit the 24 button over and over again.

"_I'm not in the mood for sarcasm, Lenny."_

"That's nothing new."

"_Give Charlie a break."_

"As long as she doesn't agitate them, she's fine." Lennon hid her worry. One full-grown amnesia bunny could be bad enough, but if they all got angry…

"_You don't know that."_

"I've been on this job for-"

_Madison cut her off, "I don't care! My first job we ran into an amnesia den. It wasn't pretty, and it was smaller!"_

"We can handle this. We're all experienced with these, right Charlie?"

There was no answer, and both Madison and Lennon realized she hadn't said anything for a while.

"_Charlie?"_

"Dreck!"

"_Hey, watch that mouth."_

"Charlie, if you don't answer me, I'll throw you in the whoosh thing of an establishing wormhole… … Charlie!"

The doors slid open and Lennon was relieved when it was Madison stepping in instead of one of the staff, but it didn't last for long. "Shtup these radios, what good are they if we can't reach her!"

"There's nothing wrong with the radios." Madison defended, they were her work after all.

"There better be, because the other possibility…"

"She's fine, has to be."

"It was stupid going in there alone! Stupid! A meshugener zol men oyshraybn, un im araynshraybn!"

Madison cocked her head, "What does that mean?"

"She's crazy!"

"Some people would call it brave."

"Then they're all schmucks."

Finally reaching their destination, the elevator did that up-down thing that caused their stomachs to protest, and they moved out to the level.

"She didn't say what room she was in…"

"It's somewhere here." Lennon snipped to cover her alarm at Charlotte not answering her calls.

"Yeah, but-"

"Just look!"

They started looking in the closed doorways in calm silence until Madison motioned around to the air. "This is familiar."

"Yeah." The empty yet hazy sensation of the air was more than a little unsettling.

After finding the door and not knowing what was going to happen on the other side, they drew their zats and Madison hit the door control.

The absolute last thing they had imagined to walk in on was happening.

Charlotte Walker, leader of the team, known goon, was propped up against the wall with plot bunnies surrounding her, on her lap, shoulders, and even on her head.

All the bunnies were sleeping and she was _petting_ them.

"Uh…" Lennon couldn't think of anything to say, a rarity.

Madison dropped to her side, carefully avoiding the bunnies, "Charlie?"

Charlotte scolded, "Shh! They're sleeping."

Lennon started getting her thought back, "That's obvious, but how, why… why are you covered in them and… how?"

"Let's just clean this up and get out of here." Charlotte carefully placed the sleeping bunnies covering on the floor with the help of Madison.

"There's no way to knock out a whole den like this without sleeping gas, and I know you don't have any of that on you." Lennon observed.

Charlotte moved the last bunny off her lap and stood up, "I soothed the savage beasts."

Madison replied amazed, "You didn't!"

Lennon's face contorted into an equally shocked expression, "You, of all people, _sang_?"

_---Few minutes earlier---_

Charlotte had to think fast, the amnesia bunnies were inching closer to her and the one on top of the crates looked about to pounce.

It was a desperate time. Very desperate. "I'm not in the mood for sarcasm, Lenny."

Her teammates continued squabbling and a little light bulb turned on over her head. She shut off her mic and cleared her throat.

"I feel pretty…"

She got louder and continued to sing, "Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and bright."

The bunnies all cocked their heads.

"And I pity," She started swaying for effect, "any girl who isn't me tonight."

She realized that was about as far from the truth as one could get.

The plot bunnies all stopped advancing.

Charlotte sighed of relief, especially since she couldn't remember any of the other words and the little light bulb went dark.

But they started advancing towards her again.

She eyed the door control, but that same bunny was still there.

Inspired by keeping her memories, the light bulb flared up again, "I fell charming, oh so charming. It's alarming how charming I feel!" She twirled in a circle that if she had a skirt on, would've been rather pretty, "That I hardly can believe I'm real."

A few halted in their tracks, others kept hopping forward, almost thoughtfully.

She continued to sing her heart out, "See that pretty girl in the mirror there?" She pointed to the side while ignoring Lennon over the radio. The last thing she wanted was for them to hear her singing. She almost fell over from hysteric laughter when every single bunny looked at the wall where she was pointing.

"Who can that attractive girl beee?"

They all looked back at her.

"Such a pretty face, such pretty dress, such a pretty smile. Such a pretty meeee!" She lifted her arms over head and all the bunnies stood still.

She started rocking from side to side again, "I feel stunning…"

A pretty bizarre sight met her eyes.

All the plot bunnies were swaying in synch with her.  
She almost fell over again, but thought it best to keep singing until back up arrived, "And entrancing. Feel like running and dancing for joy!"

A few passed out, and more followed. Charlotte could've kissed whoever was running the show up there.

"I feel pretty. Oh so pretty!" In mid twirl, the bunny from the crate jumped and landed on her shoulder. It didn't do anything but snuggle up to her, so not wanting to make it angry, she left it.

"That the city should give me its keeey! A committee should be organized to honor mee!"

She could've sworn the few bunnies that were still awake hummed "La, la, la, la…"

Lowering her voice, she stood still, "I feel dizzy…" She actually did so she sunk against the wall, "I feel sunny."

The remaining bunnies looking blissful crawled on her and nestled up to her, one even thought her bright red hair looked like a good place to sleep.

"I feel dizzy and funny and fine." Her singing voice faded to a whisper, "And so pretty, Miss America can just resign."

Charlotte looked around the room at the sleeping amnesia bunnies. The day had just gotten very unroutine.

_---Back to the Present---_

Charlotte finished relating the story to her teammates and tried to look as menacing and tough as possible.

But the shock wore off, and now Madison and Lennon were bracing themselves against each other, laughing.

"Can it, or you'll wake them!" Charlotte scolded tersely.

"That is just too rich… what are you, the Pied Piper of plot bunnies? That should've been taped."

"We could've shown it back at HQ."

"Charge admission! Five bucks a pop."

"Isn't that a little much?" Madison remarked as she clutched her middle since it started to hurt from laughing so hard.

"Are you kidding? To see a Buster C.O. singing that song of all songs to plot bunnies? Five bucks is a steal!"

Charlotte had enough, "Stop it! Unless you want to be reprimanded."

"Ooo we're shaking in our shoes." Lennon held her hands out to her side and fake-shook.

Charlotte smirked and deadpanned, "I'll hunt down a whump bunny, without its comfort bunny friend."

Lennon and Madison froze.

Charlotte pulled out a cigar and started chewing on the end, fully satisfied.

Lennon spoke nervously, "I'll lay some anti-bunny charges, and we can call this den cleared."

Charlotte shook her head, "They'd be too noisy, and we have to be covert about this."

Madison agreed, "We'd have to zat them anyway."

"But-"

"Start zatting, avoid the SEP generator." Charlotte pointed to the metal cylinder in the far left corner, "We still need it."

Lennon scowled and started following orders, feeling underappreciated after being cut-off. Even Madison did that to her earlier. It was like the world was about to collapse or something.

And to make things worse, she couldn't get the kiss with Rodney out of her mind, no matter how hard she tried.

She needed to get him alone again.

No, not for that reason, get your minds out of the gutter, people!

Movement attracter her eyes were attracted to her pack. Knowing that meant the amnesia bunny was awake, she looked over at her teammates. Both weren't looking to the door where she set it down, so she let one shot land on the pack. Lennon really didn't want to explain what she was doing carrying around a young plot bunny.

The unused maintenance bay was once again clear of everything, except for one odd looking piece of tech in the corner.

Lennon was instantly drawn to it. "This is so cool. I've never actually seen one of these things…" She traced her fingertips over the cold metal. It reached chest high on her.

"Spend some time in the Hitchhiker's Universe." Charlotte commented.

"No way, the laws of physics there are screwy. Actually, there are no laws of physics. Milliways alone breaks the String Theory."

"I like Milliways. Good food and drinks, and watching the Universe explode." Madison smiled at the memories, "Want to go there some time? Hey, maybe the next vacation we can all go have dinner!"

Lennon snorted, "I'll never step a foot in that Universe. Way too screwy."

"You're no fun." Madison pouted.

"You do seem to like that SEP generator…"

"Because it's here, and it is one of the technologies that might have a possibility of working in the real world."

"Alright Lenny… let's get out of here." Charlotte checked her watch, "Anyone up for a break?"

"It is getting late, we've been working for almost twelve hours."

"Let's go, Lenny."

"Go where? Besides, I want to check this out." She walked all around the field generator, looking for an access panel of some sort while avoiding stepping on the very spider-like feet.

"Level 17, camp out for a couple. The level's not used for much of anything." Charlotte headed to the door.

Lennon broke out of her trance around the fascinating piece of tech and spun around, "_Camp out_? We are not staying here the night! It was only going to be a day here!"

"Well, HQ underestimated the size of the place. We'll just take a couple hours rest so we stay alert."

Madison yawned, "We've been on our feet all day."

"You guys go, I'll stay here." Lennon waved them off.

"Not with the possibility of stray bunnies coming home, you know how you get when you're working." Charlotte waved to the door, "Now come on, geek. You can check that out before we leave tomorrow."

"Fine." She stormed over to her pack, swung it on and left with the rest of the team trailing after her. Now needing another way to get rid of them so she could see Rodney alone, she hit '19' in the elevator once they got close to it.

"What are you doing?" Charlotte narrowed her eyes.

"I don't like to leave a section unfinished." The doors opened and she waved behind her as she walked out, "I'll meet you up there."

"Lenny…"

"Twenty minutes, max." She could feel the scorn from her C.O. setting her shirt on fire from the elevator, but chose to ignore it. She had cleaning up of her own to do, and reminded herself not to get into a position that Rodney could kiss her again, even if it was really good.

Maybe one wouldn't hurt…

Lenny smacked her forehead as she heard a very distinctive voice wafting down the corridor, "No, no, no. That's not right at all! Do I have to do everything myself around here?"

She made a beeline for the source.

* * *

**A/N:** The 'I Feel Pretty' bit was inspired by Chapter 7 of _Kings, Queens, and Corsets_ by Fiery Mango over on the LOTR page. Go read it, it's silly and hysterical and fabulous. I needed something for her to sing, and since Fiery Mango had locked that in my head, it ended up being the song. 

Apologies for it now being stuck in your heads.

Not.

Muahaha!


	8. Flipped Shippiness

**A/N:** More McKay and Lennon. Actually, this one's mostly McKay/Lennon.

A few of the moments in here were requested by Techie.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Part 8- **_Flipped Shippiness _

The lab was buzzing with activity, organized chaos, all directed by one man.

Lennon watched Rodney with amusement as he snipped and snapped his fingers at the underling scientists who either looked afraid he was going to bite their heads off or so angry that they were going to bite _his_ head off.

He circled around what Lennon recognized as an electromagnetic pulse generator to a desk. Without bothering to sit down, he started typing on the laptop.

Lennon weaved her way through the throng of scientists, almost colliding with a few who weren't looking where they were going.

"Rodney, you busy?"

"No, I'm just relaxing on a beach, what does it-" He glanced up and saw it was her, "Oh… uh… hi."

"So… busy?

"Well, yes. What are you doing here?" He looked like a cross between a lost puppy and an angry bulldog, and his voice reflected it.

"You always ask that."

The lost puppy was gone, "Because you show up at random times."

"They're not random to me."

"Your perspective must be a little warped."

"And your calculation is wrong." She pointed to the screen, rather smugly.

He snorted, "It's perfectly fine. I've looked over it-" His face fell as he read over where she was still pointing, "Oh. Huh." He straightened up and defended, "It's a typo."

She raised her eyebrow in a Teal'c-like fashion, "That carries on through the whole calculation?"

His fingers flew over the keyboard, "Exactly."

Lennon rolled her eyes, "Are you that incapable of admitting when you're wrong?"

"I'd have to make a mistake first."

"Arrogance must run in your family."

"As much as pestering curiosity runs in yours." He waved his hand behind him, not taking his eyes off the screen, "Why don't you just run off again, you like to do that."

"That's not fair. There were perfectly good reasons." She'd never admit it, but that hurt. And things like that never hurt her.

He stopped typing and passed his eyes up to hers, lost puppy completely replacing the bulldog, "An explanation would be nice."

"Dr. McKay?" One of the guy lackeys asked.

Rodney stood up straight and snipped at him in full bulldog fashion, "What?"

"You should see this." The lackey gestured behind them as Lennon dug in her pack.

"Can't you see I'm busy?"

"Here." Lennon shoved a plain two-way radio in Rodney's hand, "Call me when you're done with the Geek Patrol. We need to talk."

Rodney swallowed, he _hated_ talking about mushy relationship type stuff, which he assumed she wanted to talk about. But he did want to know what was going on, "Okay."

He watched her turn around and leave almost as abruptly as she came. For a moment he felt like chasing her down for a kiss goodbye, but that thought got pushed out when the lackey started babbling.

_-Perspective Change- _

Lennon couldn't believe the day she was having. It was pretty much insane. She was going to chew out HQ for not giving proper intel about _when_ they were going to break into the SGC. They usually aimed for a lull in the action, not this charade.

And then there was Rodney, which would just not leave her head. He was like a plague of snarkiness set upon her by an angry god for something wrong she couldn't remember doing. What she hated about him, was now very attractive. It took all her willpower not to melt into a pool of sweet Sue goo around him and fall into his arms.

Frakin ship bunnies causing problems. She refused to turn into one of those characters who completely changed once shipped.

She keyed her radio, "You guys are where now?"

_"Northeast corner. The only door with wood molding."_

"Really? Man TPTB are weird today."

_"Tell me about it."_

"Oh, right. Miss Pretty." Lennon hung a left and noticed the out of place wood.

_"That is never going to leave these walls."_

She opened the door and walked in, "Oh yes it is. It's too great not to." Their makeshift camp was a small, and once again dusty, storage room. Or maybe a private lab if it actually got any furniture.

"No one would believe you." Charlotte yawned, quite snug on the ground. Her head was resting on her pack, her zat right next to her.

"I'll convince them. Besides, Madge is on my side."

Her name roused Madison out of her half-sleep mode, "Leave me out of it. I'm not getting on her bad side." She rolled over and faced the wall, pulling up a Care Bear beach towel around her shoulders.

Lennon set her nearing half-ton pack against the wall and flipped open the top, "We can take her."

"Don't make me laugh."

Checking to make sure the rest of the team's eyes were closed, Lennon silently gave the young amnesia bunny a sedative, figuring stunning it every time it woke up was not such a good idea. "Two against one."

"Never going to happen, geek. Catch a little rest already, would ya?"

"You're not my mother." Lennon took out the matching two-way radio she gave Rodney and a small rectangular pillow.

"Thankfully."

"You wound me." Lennon faked hurt and laid down, radio under the pillow so only she could hear it.

"Shush up." Madison kicked Lennon's foot and proceeded to kick Charlotte's arm.

_---An indeterminate amount of time later... Let's go with a couple hours--- _

Sleep is good. When Lennon actually got to sleep, which wasn't the case then. She had to listen to Charlotte snores, bordering on loud, and Madison's breathing while trying to push unwanted thoughts of a certain astrophysicist out of her head, made even harder by waiting for his call.

What was she? In high school sitting by the phone, hoping the captain of the football team would call and ask her to the dance?

She snorted, there was no where Rodney was ever captain of any sports team.

Maybe chess. He probably played chess.

_"Mallory…?"_

She jumped, reaching for the little radio, "Yeah?" It was barely a whisper as she grabbed her pillow and pack.

_"Where are you?"_

She couldn't tell him where she actually was. The level wasn't used for anything really, so there was no reason that he'd understand for her being there. "I'm… outside the guest quarters." Maybe she could get him to go to his, and she could finally get her plan done with.

_"Stay there. Be right up."_

The radio went silent, and Lennon launched out the room quiet enough not to rouse the others.

_-Another Perspective Change-_

Rodney rubbed his temples as the elevator climbed floors.

He almost killed Carter.

_Great. Blow it with two hot women in one day, Rodney._

Wait, since when did he think of Mallory as hot? Sure, she was cute in a geeky way. But one glaring difference was her black hair. His history showed he liked blondes.

But… he was only attracted to hot women. It was a fact. Testable. Scientific even. So therefore, she was hot.

Yep, definitely hot. In a geeky, irritating sort of way.

He stepped out of the elevator to see said black hair and blue uniform walking away from him down the hallway.

Reveling that he could actually sneak up on her for once, he caught up to her and put his hand on her shoulder. "Mallo-"

He didn't get to finish as hands were gripping him in not-affectionate places and he was flipped over his head, landing flat on his back.

"Oww! Why'd you do that for?" He moved his shoulders, seeing if there was permanent damage and peered up. "You're not…"

The airwoman looked down at him, "Don't ever touch me again." She continued on her way.

Rodney heard laughing from behind him and sat up.

"Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed."

He looked and saw who really was Lennon this time, "Make fun of the man with permanent back damage."

She laughed and offered her hand, "Such a baby." He got to his feet and she continued, "It's times like these one wonders if you ever had a girlfriend."

He glared as he dusted off his pants, "I've had plenty of girlfriends. I'm very selective though, you should be flattered I gave you some attention."

"I'm not attention starved."

"Oh yeah," he crossed his arms smugly, "Prove it."

"I do not have to prove anything, especially to an arrogant ass."

"You like this arrogant ass."

"Do not." She denied. "You aggravate me."

"You weren't complaining when you were on my desk."

"Because you weren't talking."

Rodney smirked, "So I'm only good for my body?"

"That's not what I said."

"It was implied."

"Can we not talk about this in the middle of the hallway?"

"You want to get me behind close doors so you can take advantage of me, don't you?"

_In a way_... she thought. "Get a hold of yourself, Rodney. I don't need your attention."

"I still haven't seen any proof of anyone else giving you any." He still had his arms crossed.

"And how would I… hmmf." She swung her pack to the floor and started digging, avoiding the towel-with-a-bunny-surprise.

"What do you have in there? A whole house?"

"Just a few necessary… ah. He we are." She held up the picture so he could see, "Proof."

He snatched it out of her hand to look closer at the picture of her and a man who looked freakishly liked Garth from Wayne's World sitting next to each other, computer in the background. "Oh please, this is nothing."

"Keep going."

He discovered she had actually pulled out a couple pictures and moved on to the next one, "Still nothing." Just because the guy had an arm around her didn't mean anything.

"Keep going." Lennon fought back laughing at the expression on his face upon seeing the next picture. "He's one hell of a man." She smirked.

Rodney's jaw had dropped and it took a few moments for his brain to work again. He shoved the pictures back at her, "Geek's stay together. No surprise there."

She grabbed them back, "You're jealous." She teased, knowing the picture Madison had snapped of her and Langly in his bedroom, wearing each other's shirts from the previous pictures did not look innocent.

"Am not." His face reddened.

She placed the photos in the front pocket of her bag, "Where are your quarters?"

"My quarters?" He squeaked.

"Yeah." She locked eyes with his, being as flirtatious as she could stand without getting sick, "Is your brain functioning enough to comprehend?" She shouldered her pack once more.

His mouth opened and closed like a fish before he answered, "Yeah," he lightly took her wrist and started leading her down the hall.

Men. She smiled and started formulating a definite plan. If it all went well, he'd never remember her.

* * *

**A/N:** The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft agley.

In modern English – The best-laid schemes of mice and men often go awry.

Hmm… funny how Rodney was squeaking. That just hit me. Lol.


	9. Behind Closed Doors

**A/N: **Hey, the uploader liked me today!

* * *

**  
**

**Part 9**

Rodney closed the door and did something Lennon wasn't expecting.

He leaned his forehead against it and murmured, "I don't get you. Hand me a physics equation, and I can riddle holes in it or support it with facts in a matter of minutes. Wormholes, black holes, neutrinos… I can explain. But you are beyond confusing."

She had expected him to put the moves on her again, and she was ready to sidestep and do a little song and dance, not literally like Charlie, but just as effectively. Instead she was facing the true effects of the fluff ship bunny. Feelings. Ick.

"I know this is all a little sudden," she felt for the sat in the waistband of her pants, "but that's the way it is."

He turned around, "You have this was of getting under my skin. In a good way, very good way."

She sighed, knowing it was only because of the ship bunny, "I'm sure you say that to all the girls."

"No, just you."

She snarked, "Good to know."

"I'm pouring my heart out here, Mallory." He snipped, "The least you could do is reciprocate."

Lennon let her blue uniform shirt drape back over the zat, "It's Lenny."

"See, we're getting somewhere."

She laughed and admitted, "As much as I've been trying to fight it, I feel the same way about you." Might as well lay it out… … ahh crap. Impaired judgment. She mentally smacked herself, ship bunnies were worse than alcohol on so many levels. Except maybe that one time in Munich-

Err… never mind.

"Really? So that's why you ran out when we were kissing? You were fighting it?" He inched closer to her.

She quirked her eyebrows at his movement and placed her pack on the small table, "Yeah… good thing too cuz if Carter walked in any sooner-" Huh. She was blonde… "She's that blonde you were talking about before, at the gas station."

His face fell into a horrified expression that Lenny was bringing her up, "…Yeah…"

"You're attracted to her." Her eyes darkened even more than they naturally were and she felt a certain green-eyed monster lurching up in her.

"Well I… in a completely different way. Besides, she would never give me the time of day. Like you."

"I'm easy, is that it?"

Rodney's eyes widened, "No, no, no. That's not what I meant. I meant you like me back."

"Mmmhmm. I think this conversation is over, Rodney." She had enough and reached for her zat again.

"No it's not. I'm not good with talking to women, but I somehow managed to do something right with you."

Lennon snorted, he still wasn't too good with the talking but.

He continued, "Denying something happened during that kiss would be lying to yourself."

"It can't mean anything. I'm leaving here soon."

"Well, we're all gonna die once the Gate explodes in less than 25 hours, so you might as well stay."

"And do what? Spend the rest of the time with you?"

"That's the idea. You did want to come in here."

"I can't stay."

"Why not?"

"For one, if my boss found out, it'd be my head."

"Unless your boss has a secret camera in here, no one's gonna know. Besides, why would your boss care?"

"It's against the regs. Shouldn't you be working?"

"Carter's on it. Let's not talk about her."

"This isn't what I came here for."

"Could've fooled me."

"I came to say goodbye."

"This is a good way to." Rodney pressed closer to her.

"Rodney, really. Don't. I don't want to kiss you."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't." She put a few more inches between them.

But Rodney McKay isn't anything if not persistent, especially when he thinks he's right, "You do." He turned the couple feet into mere inches.

"You're wrong."

"I'm not wrong."

"Still can't admit it?"

"You can't admit you want to kiss me again."

"I do not!"

Rodney kissed her hard and just when she started to kiss him back, he pulled away, smirking smugly.

"You say one thing, but do another."

"Damn it, Rodney." She let go of her grip on the zat and pulled him down into another kiss.

As a pair, they moved in the direction of the bed. Lennon happened to be the one walking backwards.

"Oomph!" She spun her head around and stared at the chair. "What is it doing _there_?"

Rodney shrugged, his hold on her now loosened, "I didn't put it there."

Lennon humphed and murmured, "Definitely a strange day."

"What was that?"

"Nothing." She kicked the chair out of the way, causing it to fall over and hit the floor with a loud thud. They both winced at the sound and picked up where they left off .

Lennon returned walking backwards, until hitting the bed. Rodney scooped her up and laid her down.

She ignored the strange chivalry coming from him, how it made her feel, and the zat making an imprint in her back.

"What's this?" He carefully took the headset off her ear.

"Not important." She tried to take it out of his hands.

"Is this what I think it is? Headset radio… I always figured the SG teams should use these in the field instead and the hand-helds as backups."

"Rodney…"

"Hmm?" He looked back to her.

Her look was one of annoyance yet a little amusement.

"Right." He threw the headset on the ground, she took her glasses off since they had really started to become uncomfortable, and resumed the make out session. It wasn't one of those sloppy and hasty snogs like what smut bunnies triggered (and let's not go there ever, ever again. Scarred for life here!) but one that was slow and sweet, like fluffy shippiness ensued.

It was getting hot in the guest quarters, temperature wise.

Still in the gutter, readers?

Rodney wiggled out of his jacket and Lennon wasn't a tad sad to see the ugly thing go.

"_Lenny!... Lenny, where are you?"_

"Ignore it." She murmured.

"_You got me quoting Scooby-Doo now… Lenny!"_

They ignored the rather terse voice coming from her radio, his hands on her waist and back, hers in his hair and on the back of his neck.

"_Do you want me to circulate the video of you in Cleo-verse?"_

Lenny broke away and rolled to the edge of the bed, reaching down for the piece of tech, but her CO had continued teasingly.

"_Fishnets, high heels, that little plaid-skirt and tank-"_

She hastily strung it around her ear as she answered into the mic, "Charlie!"

"_So nice of you to answer me."_

"Well, wouldn't want to ignore you. What do you want?" She swatted Rodney's hand away from tickling her side.

"_What happened? You did not have orders to leave."_

"Since I couldn't sleep, I thought I'd get a head start."

"_I know you want to get out of here sooner rather than later, but me not knowing where you are, is not acceptable."_

"Won't happen again."

"_It better not. Be back here in five minutes."_

"Five, but-?

"_Five, Fisk."_

"Charlie!" There was no answer and being addressed by her last name was not good. "Ugh!" She buried her face in the blanket, arm hanging over the bed.

"Fishnets?"

She turned her head to face him. Even without glasses she could tell he was picturing her in that outfit. "Not going there."

"Oh come on… hey it wouldn't have happened to be a pink plaid would it?" He was lying next to her, head propped up, a hopeful look in his eyes.

"Drop it." She glared at him.

"Fine. Was that the boss?"

"CO."

"Since when do you guys at the Committee start using 'CO'?"

Every muscle in her body tensed.

"Oh my god." His hand trailed off its place on her side and passed over the zat. She quickly pushed his hand away, but he already knew what it was. There was only one weapon he knew that was curled like that. He clumsily launched over her and off the bed, falling over the chair, eyes wild, and yelling, "You're not from the Committee! That explains the clothes and the SG uniform instead of a suit. It's camouflage!"

"Ahh crap. It took you long enough to put it together, though."

"You're going to kill me! It's part of a conspiracy to get rid of me! First Russia, then death!" He leapt to his feet to the door.

She got off the bed and was grabbing his arm before he could open the door, "I'm not going to kill you!"

"You were going to have your way with me and then," he made a slitting noise as he drew his thumb across his neck, "Buh bye Rodney." He tried to wiggle from her grasp but failed.

"That's not it! You're way off base now."

"Then why do you have a zat?"

"Fine, you want the truth?"

"Yeah."

"My team and I were sent to investigate some… unsavory characters. The zat's for protection. No one but who sent us knows we're here, and it's going to stay that way, right Rodney?" That had to suffice…because there wasn't time to execute her plan and make it back up to Charlie and Madge without Charlie getting seriously angry. It wouldn't have normally bothered her, but she couldn't afford Charlie getting curious.

"Why would I believe that?"

"Because I said so." She made a snap decision and let go of his arm, and batted her eyes, summoning a few of her more womanly charms.

"That would be way more convincing if you were wearing a little pink number, just my shirt, or nothing."

"Rodney!" She slapped him in the arm, acting angrier than she actually was at his comment. If it hadn't been for the ship bunny, she would've really been mad and he would've really been dead. Or at least with a broken jaw this time.

"I'm just saying." He smiled.

She shook her head, "I gotta go. The CO's expecting me."

"Fine. Tease."

"Smart ass." She grabbed her pack from the table and searched for her glasses. She found them on the floor after a few minutes of squinting, "I'll give you a call later when I can get away."

"K."

A short kiss and a closing door later, Lennon was on her way.

The distance between her and McKay started putting some sense back into her brain. It scolded her loudly for being such an idiot. She might as well have had a little talking mouth on her forehead so she could hear the onslaught of insults her brain was ranting off at her.

Second thought- that would have been very disturbing. Seriously, think about it.

* * *

**A/N:** I hope this is still funny, I've been trying to keep in the spirit of the WPBA Universe.

We don't have too much farther to go, thanks for still being here!


	10. Musical Revisited

**A/N:** … so ffnet is behaving enough for me to post this, hopefully it's behaving enough for you all to read/review!

I'm currently riding high from Techie's review of the last chapter, it seems ffnet is really not liking her tonight...

If this seems a little loopy in parts or more grammar-type mistakes than usual I'm blaming it on 1- The pain meds. 2- The bum knee. 3- The upset stomach.

* * *

**Part 10**- _Musical Revisited _

Charlie chewed on the end of one of her cigars that she seemed in endless supply of, not daring to light it inside the mountain since the sprinklers would go off, and being sopping wet was not something she wanted right then.

What she wanted was the geek of the team front-and-center so she could lay into her.

Madison shifted her weight from foot to foot; she was always uncomfortable when Charlotte got into one of her moods… usually set off by said Lennon. She could almost feel the anger radiating off her CO. But she had to do something to lighten her up… especially if the cigar was any indication. It was being gnawed into a stub.

"I'm sure she didn't mean to get you mad."

Charlotte grunted, "She knew it would."

"Everything's fine."

"It easily may not have been." Charlie checked her watch, "She's late."

"The elevator could have been backed up."

"Then she should've climbed through the escape hatch the couple of floors, the science sections are two below us."

"She does have that wound."

"Yes, the ship arrow…" Charlotte trailed off, thinking.

A few knocks in a distinct pattern came from the door before it opened and Lennon stepped in, "Uh, hi." She had made sure her hair wasn't all tousled a few moments before and took a few deep breaths to calm herself down.

It hadn't worked very well. Her heart was still about to leap out of her chest and her legs were weak… all out of fear and trepidation.

Charlotte glared like a mother scolding her child, "Have fun?"

"Ye-… uh no. Not at all." Lennon stood with her back almost against the door.

Charlotte circled as much as she could around Lenny, not saying a word, but continuing to gnaw at the cigar, both hands in her pockets, practically strolling like nothing was wrong.

It was very unnerving.

Lennon swallowed, "So, are we going to be heading out to wrap up soon or what? The longer we stay in a healthy universe, the more chances there are to influence what's happening."

"I'm perfectly aware of that, Fisk."

Madison looked back and forth between the two and took a step back, wanting to be out of the line of fire. It was like a bad military movie gone wrong. One where the commander was about to shoot the disobeying subordinate in the head and bury him in the jungle. There was that much tension in the air.

"We gonna go then, or what?" Lennon really wanted to get out of that little room and get some air, of the not-dusty and tension-fee kind.

"We will." Charlotte stopped her circling Lenny like she was prey and faced her, "What do you think you were doing?"

It came out of her mouth instantly, "Working, like usual. That is what we came here for."

"Don't lie to me, Fisk. I don't like being lied to."

"What makes you think I'm lying? That hurts, Charlie. It really does. How long have we known each other?"

"Exactly. I know when you're hiding something. You've never ran off like this, the earlier instance with the ship-bunny excluded, without telling me where you're going, and it worries me."

"You were knocked out, snoring. Excuse me for not wanting to bother you." Lennon snarked like she usually did.

"I do not snore."

Madge snorted. Her first 'comment' in the whole conversation.

Lennon laughed a little.

"I do not snore." Charlotte repeated to head shakes from the other two members of the team. To reassert her authority and to check something out, she ordered, "Madge, check her arrow wound."

"It's fine, Charlie." Lennon insisted.

"There could be some lingering side effects. Check it, Madison."

Madge, who thought it strange Charlie addressed her by her actual name, looked back and forth between the two and decided it was best to follow orders. "You may want to sit, Lenny."

"Fine, but there's nothing wrong with me. It. Me or it." Lennon plopped unceremoniously to the ground and rolled up her left pants leg.

Madison knelt beside her and gently lifted up the white bandage. It looked like a normal cut to her. "No funny colors from a bad allergic reaction or anything. It'll heal up nicely, though it'll scar."

"You sure?" Charlotte questioned.

Madison reaffixed the bandage, "Yeah. All hunky-dory here."

"See? I'm fine." Lenny hopped to her feet and started to roll her pants leg back down.

Charlotte scratched her chin, debating whether or not to ask it. Catching Lennon off-guard might help, "Lenny, are you shipped?

Lennon kept her head down and smoothed out her pants, "No." Straightening up she continued, "Course not. I was careful during the window of opportunity." She kept her face annoyed and tried to get the shock out of it, "For someone who thinks they know me so well, I'm disappointed in you." She hated lying, but what it was necessary…wasn't it?

"It's a serious thing, don't downplay it." Charlotte crossed her arms.

"I'm not. Stop being such a mashuganeh." The thought crossed her mind that maybe she should have told her, but then it got pushed away by her plan to fix it.

"Can we go now?" Madison pitched in from the sidelines.

"Hold on." Charlotte turned back to Lenny, choosing to ignore the 'crazy woman' comment, "On your ill-advised outing, did you come across any intel about the Gate situation?"

"The scientists were ranting about having 25 hours before it blows up." Lennon reasoned that it wasn't a total lie.

"Let's be out of here by then, just in case. Anyone hungry?"

Lennon and Madison both shook their heads.

"How are you guys not hungry? Did you both sneak off to the cafeteria? Never mind, I know you did Lenny. Madge?"

"It was on my floor…"

Charlotte gripped the bride of her nose, closed her eyes, and muttered something that didn't sound like English.

Madison recognized some of it, "Since when do you speak Chinese?"

"Since I spent some time in one of the Core planet's hospitals. There was this nice doctor… Tam."

"And here I was thinking Madge was the one with the knack for stumbling across cute canons."

"Hey!" Madison slapped Lenny's arm, "You say that like it's a bad thing."

Lenny flinched away, "Always with the hitting."

Charlotte let a smile creep up, "She can hit if she wants to."

Without really hearing that comment, Madison was already in the process of hitting Charlie in the arm, "You met Simon Tam! Did you get any pictures?"

"I was laid up in an Alliance Hospital bed, I wasn't too worried about getting a picture of him as I was getting out and back to the rim." Charlie made sure she had all her stuff, "Let's move out. We're sticking together this time."

_---Post-cafeteria stop later--- _

"I really do not need a babysitter." Lenny huffed as they continued to scour the civilian labs.

"Don't think of it as babysitting, think of this as teamwork." Charlotte looked behind her and glanced at Lenny, still suspicious but with no way to prove anything.

"There's no 'I' in team." Madison offered, clearly not worried about much.

Lenny contradicted, "There's a 'me.'

"But those letters aren't next to each other."

Lenny rolled her eyes, "That's not the point, Madge."

"What is then?"

"It's an expression; I'm not going to explain it to you."

"If you can't explain it, then why'd you bring it up?" Madison asked, after poking her head in one of the labs.

"I never said I couldn't."

"Then why don't you?"

Lenny's frustration rose, "Because I don't want to."

"That's not a very good reason."

"It's as good a reason as any."

Charlotte considered zatting the two of them and leaving them for the MP's to find, then realized it would have been a little extreme. So she did the next best thing.

She waited until they were both by her and smacked the back of their heads at the same time. "You done squabbling now?"

"We were having a conversation." Lenny defended. "And it isn't my fault if Madge is in her own little dream world where everything and everyone is happy."

"Never said it was." Charlotte resumed the pace and routine of checking the empty labs. It was nearing the wee-hours of the morning so there were few people in the labs, especially considering it was the social sciences floor and they weren't needed to solve the Gate problem, so they all headed to bed like normal people.

"I don't think exactly like that." Madison went on to sing-song, "Here little bunnies, bunnies, bunnies…come out and play…"

"They're not just going to hop out at the sound of your voice." Lenny gestured to Madge as proof-of-point.

Charlie started to reconsider the zatting idea.

"Although," Lenny grinned, "we do have our very own Pied Piper in our midst."

Charlie opened her mouth to give what probably would have been a very good retort when she heard whistling. Honest-to-god whistling. She held up her hand to quiet the other two women and tried to follow the source when the source found them.

The man walked out of one of the labs nonchalantly and smiled wearily due to the late hour. "Madge."

She returned the smile, "Jonas."

At sight of him, the three women had made sure their zats were well hid.

Charlotte questioned a little acusedly to Madison, "Aren't you going to introduce us, _Madge_?"

She fought back a blush, "Charlie, Lenny, this is Jonas Quinn. Jonas, this is Charlie and Lenny." She gestured accordingly.

Lennon kept back a snort, "Hi." It was just so typical of Madison to meet up with the cute canons.

"It's nice to meet you both." Jonas held out his hand to Charlie.

"You too." She shook it a little forcefully out of habit.

He offered to shake Lenny's hand next, and Lenny gave it a short shake. "Yep."

"Are you nurses too?" He asked the both of them.

Charlotte's eyebrow rose at the question, it had to have been one of the most ridiculous things she heard. Her, a nurse? Let alone Lenny. Lenny in one of those nurse's outfits, the white ones with the funny hats… it was almost too much.

"Not in the least." Lennon also had a similar train of thought and joked, "Though Charlie would look great in a nurse's outfit."

Madison giggled while Charlie gave her evil-glare-of-death to Lenny

Madison covered, "They're sergeants."

Luckily, and by sheer will of TPTB in charge, that answer satisfied Jonas, "I thought you would be gone by now."

"No, still here. I have a little while before I leave."

"In that case," Jonas checked his watch, "we have five hours before the cafeteria serves breakfast. Join me then?" He ended with a smile. You know the type- hopeful, enchanting… guaranteed to make women swoon.

Madison happened to be the swooning type, but also not one to go against orders, and she shot Charlie an optimistic look.

While Lenny gave the biggest eye-roll of her life knowing, Charlotte once again pinched the bridge of her nose, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. She then gave the slightest of nods.

Madison practically squealed, "Shiny!" She addressed Jonas, "I'll see you then."

"Great. Bye Madge, ladies." He nodded and continued on his way, whistling even louder.

Ignoring the talk behind her, Madison checked out Jonas's retreating form, and beamed as she looked back to her team.

Lenny had collapsed laughing while Charlie looked like she was going to kick the geek.

"What?" Madison asked innocently.

Between laughs Lenny managed to get out, "He's whistling 'I Feel Pretty.' "

* * *

**A/N:** I know… no McKay/Lenny. But you _can_ have too much of a good thing. And Jonas is just so cute. Next chapter shall have more Mckay! I think. (thinks)… sure. Why not.

Now, where are those crutches so I can actually move around the house…

If you couldn't tell, I've been reading way too much _Firefly_ fic… hence the Chinese and Shiny.

Oh and hoped you liked it!


	11. Shots

**A/N:** Inspiration struck for this fic during a massive thunderstorm today and in the midst or writing an email to Techie partly complaining about writer's block and the other part to review the latest chapter of WPBA.

It struck so hard that I started writing this chapter from the beginning, like I usually do, then oddly this all just poured out. I didn't even get to the idea I had.

Weird, huh?

* * *

**Part 11**-_Shots_

"How does he even know that song? Madge?"

She shrugged, "I barely know him."

A still laughing Lennon braced herself against the wall to help her get off the floor, "Maybe the little alien has a thing for musicals."

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to look at some Earth culture." Madison defended her latest crush with a rare scowl.

Lennon wiped a tear from her eye, "Either he watched West Side Story of listened to some Julie Andrews tracks, and either one is ridiculous for a grown man to do."

Charlotte rolled her neck, grateful for the small fact Lennon was no longer harping on her for the song, "Let's not stand in the middle of the hallway. We have to sweep the rest of this place for stray bunnies." She took off with a glance behind her, "Come on."

"Slave driver." Lennon muttered and followed.

Madison started whistling random notes, looking forward to seeing one Jonas Quinn again, and a little surprised Charlotte didn't get too huffy over it.

As a team, they had become a well-oiled machine during sweeps, and Charlotte didn't have to give many orders as to what they were doing.

On the next floor, Madison cracked open a door and the sound of shots being fired trailed out into the hall, echoing.

"What the-"

Madison hastily closed it; her heart had skipped a beat or two. Maybe two and a half.

"Relax you two. It's the firing range," Charlotte calmly explained. "I'll take it."

"Alright goon, don't have too much fun."

"Never." She squared her shoulders and walked in the little check-in area, the sound of gunfire having stopped.

A scarily large man in a green jumpsuit was sitting behind the desk, looking not as bored as Charlotte was expecting.

He looked up, visibly jumped at the sight of her, and rustled something under the desk. "Uh… what can I do for you?" The airmen swallowed heavily and looked like he had just been caught with a hand in … the cookie jar. Yep. 'Cookie jar.'

Charlotte quirked her eyebrow at the scene, keeping her mind off of what she assumed the airmen was looking at. "Just taking a look around for a friend."

"The only one in there is Major Lorne."

Ahh, a name she recognized. She put on a sly and annoyed grin, "I'm on a mission to get my sunglasses back."

The airman laughed and took in her appearance – bright red hair contrasting with the black SG uniform and her own black vest, "I wouldn't want to be him with you on the way. I'll just need to see your ID and you'll have to leave your bag out here."

Her eyebrow stayed raised, did she look _that _menacing? "Sure." She dug out a fake SGC Air Force ID and set her pack down.

"K. Go get 'em." He handed the ID back.

Charlotte took it and laughed, "He won't know what hit him."

The door to the firing range was closed as protocol called for, and Charlotte wondered just how many doors she had opened that day as she opened that door.

Dozens? Hundreds? This universe had more doors to get through than freakin Fort Knox.

To her left was the doorway to the weapons locker and to her right the small firing range with Major Lorne inspecting a Beretta at one of the stations, and his back turned to her.

Her attention was turned to the firing range when from behind one of the shelves of weapons, a blur of pink fur caught her eye and in one motion she drew her hidden zat and dove for what cover she could find, which consisted of the wall the weapons locker door was on.

Again with the doors.

Lorne had resumed firing at the target and didn't seem to notice what was going on just a few feet behind him, mostly due to the SEP field radiating through the whole base.

Charlotte slid down the wall to a crouching position, and practically had a heart attack.

Jetting out innocently from her right thigh was a red arrow.

She stared for a few seconds and yanked it out angrily, not even wincing since adrenaline had taken over.

She peaked around the edge of the doorway and spied the culprit.

The plot bunny had returned to standing on all fours, its bow strung around a shoulder and the white feathery wings laid flat.

Without hesitation she zatted it once and it fell unconscious.

Cursing her luck, the very pissed-off Bunny Buster CO stormed up to the unconscious bunny.

It had deep pink fur instead of bright-and-happy pink. "Of course…" She prodded it with the toe of her boot, "Lenny gets the fluff and I get the smut."

She resisted the urge to kick it across the room or pin it up on one of the targets over at the firing range, and resigned herself to just zat it two more times. But she still had one hell of an adrenaline rush.

And something else going on.

Her eyes flashed over to Major Lorne and her gaze lowered to his… backside.

Charlotte shook her head out of rather inappropriate thoughts and repeated to herself, "I will not jump Major Lorne. I will not jump Major Lorne. I will not jump Major Lorne…"

Normally, when a smut ship bunny shot a team member, the mission would be scrubbed and the Buster team would high-tail it back to Head Quarters. Fluffs were a little different, as long as the team member remained out of contact with a member of the opposite sex for a couple hours after infection, it was fine. No fluff-ship made, no harm done.

Smuts... well... they were a tad more powerful and it was often difficult to keep the team member away from a member of the opposite sex.

Charlotte, being a CO knew this and the other rules and facts like the back of her hand.

But, she could handle it. She was a CO after all. Tough as nails. Been to and studied hundreds of universes and fandoms. She knew exactly forty-seven ways to kill a plot bunny with a toothpick.

So she continued the job and checked the rest of the weapons locker.

Then the ultimate test of her determination and control was upon her. She had to take a look at the firing range and in order to do that, she had to get closer to a certain, rather attractive, flyboy.

"Ahh crap."

_---In the Hall---_

Madison looked at her watch worriedly, "What's taking her so long?"

"Beats me." Lennon leaned against the wall with her eyes closed. She hadn't slept for getting near to two days, and it was starting to show. At least Madison and Charlotte had managed to snag a few zzz's.

Madison huffed and tapped her radio, "Charlie?" She bit her lip when there was no answer. "Charlie?"

"She's really doing that a lot today, and she was mad at _me_."

"We're coming in, Charlie."

"_No need. Everything's fine. Can't talk right now."_ Their CO's voice came over both their radios curtly.

Shrugging, Madison obeyed the indirect order to shut up and turned off her mic. "How's the mission going for you?"

Lennon snorted, "Are you serious?"

"I was just asking."

"Well don't." With her eyes still closed, Lennon crossed her arms as a signal for Madison to stop the questions.

But Madison either didn't get the hint, or cared too much to stop. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. Other than the rather insaneness of this mission."

"It's been pretty normal, except for Charlie singing and everything."

"That's what you think." It came out of her mouth before she could help it. It must've been because she was a little more relaxed with Madge about things that Charlie would get pissed about.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing." She felt a rather hard hit on her arm. "Hey! What was that for?" She had opened her eyes and rubber where Madison slapped her.

"You're hiding something, now spill!"

"Jeeze, you hit hard, woman! I'm gonna have a bruise now, I just know it."  
"Stop avoiding the question!" Madison exclaimed, yet somehow keeping her voice to a reasonable level.

"I am not avoiding anything." Lenny's eyes betrayed her though.

Madison caught it, "I've seen that look…" Her mind quickly processed a comment Lenny had made hours earlier, "So. How's that canon you talked to, what was his name…McKay?"

Lenny's face twisted into a state of shock and embarrassment, and she felt it flush red.

"Ha! I knew it!" Madison beamed with joy of being right. "Have you kissed him?"

Lenny's face continued to flush but she denied, "No, of course not."

"You can tell me, I won't tell Charlie. I promise."

"No matter what?" It wasn't like it happened of her accord, and they really should have left the base.

"Yep." Madison meant it fully. She always kept her promises.

Lenny had been dying to get it off her chest, and she trusted Madge more than she really would admit, "Remember that fluff ship bunny arrow?"

"Yeah."

Lenny circled her hand to get Madison to put the pieces together.

It took a few moments.

"Oh… OH! Oh my gosh! Lenny, this isn't good."

"I have it under control. I just have to ditch Charlie at some point before we go."

"You sure? Shouldn't we bail or something?"

"I'm positive. And we've been here for a while since it happened and the universe hasn't caved in yet, so we're good."

"Okay… if you say so." Madison wasn't sure, but Lenny technically was her superior and she had made a promise to not say anything…

"I do say so. We're not speaking of this again, it's embarrassing enough."

"What's so embarrassing about a kiss?"

"Umm…" Lennon fought back her face blushing. Again. She really needed to learn to control that.

Madison gaped, "How far did you go?"

"Just kissing. Lots of kissing."

"That isn't anything to worry about." She reassured her.

Lennon huffed, "Put yourself in my position and see if you say that. Where is Charlie anyway? The firing range isn't all that big."

"There is someone in there."

"Even working around someone shouldn't take all this long." Lenny eyed the stubbornly closed door.

"Charlie's always been the careful one." Leave it to Madison to find the silver lining in every situation.

"The way this mission is going, I don't like this one bit. I'm going in."

"Lenny, do want to disobey another order today?"

"How would she do that?" Charlie moved out into the hall, looking no worse for wear.

"She was worried."

"Was not! The amount of time you were taking was a little much is all."

"There was a guy in there; I couldn't start zatting the stray ship bunnies in the firing range with him just standing there."

"I know that, but-"

"But nothing. Let's keep going." Charlie walked passed her teammates, every inch of her wanting out of this stupid universe.

"Why don't we split up?" Madison called up to her as she jogged to catch up, Lenny muttering beside her.

Charlie stopped and turned around, "Excuse me?"

Madison swallowed, "You know, clear some more ground, get out of here sooner. I can watch Lenny." She gave one of her innocent smiles.

"I don't need-" Lenny stopped talking once Madison hit her. Again.

Charlotte thought for a second, it would mean they'd get out sooner, and if Lenny had a pair of eyes looking out for her… "Fine. You two finish this floor up through 15, I'll get the last three. Keep in radio contact."

Madison kept smiling, "Shiny. See you later."

"Bye, don't get in trouble." Lennon waved sarcastically.

Charlie glared and walked off without another word.

"What crawled up her tokhes?" Lenny stared after her CO.

"I'll talk to her later." Madison grinned sweetly and bubbly, "Right now, you have an astrophysicist to find."

Lenny dug out the two-way radio from her pocket and realized she should say something, "Uh… thanks Madge. Really."

"No problem." Madison eyed the little radio, curious to where she had gotten it from. But then she realized Lenny carried everything possible from every universe in that beat up pack and shrugged it off. She did always wonder how the geek managed to drag it along everywhere without bending over from the weight.

Lenny turned on the radio, "Hey Rodney, you busy?"

* * *

**A/N:** I know… no McKay/Lenny. Again. But obviously it's on its way! I promise this time. 

Charlie can be so fun to play with.

So, liked or not?


	12. Snark, Snark, Snark

**A/N:** This chapter (almost passes out… must resist urge to sleep…) just wasn't going to end, so I cut it off as a cliffhanger… Hope you don't mind XD

Oh, and _Enemy Mine_ was on today, you know, the SG:1 episode Lorne was in, how coincidental…

* * *

**Part 12**- _Snark, Snark, Snark_

The day had been weird with the whole Anubis-charging-the-Gate-until-it-explodes thing before Major Marcus Lorne ended up in the firing range.

He couldn't sleep. They were all, as in everyone on Earth, about to die unless the eggheads came up with something. So, he decided to shoot at some targets to get his mind off the subject.

In the few months after he'd transferred to the SGC, he'd seen some pretty strange stuff on other planets. Granted, SG:13 didn't see much Earth-shattering action, but there had been Jaffa encounters and the like.

That wasn't too much fun… well sort of. The adrenaline had been nice.

People that knew Major Lorne wouldn't call him an impulsive guy, the people he served with in the Air Force would describe him as one to obey orders when they were given, and the ones that knew him better knew about his sweet tooth.

He had gone to the Academy to get the heck out of his home town. He wasn't going to be one of those guys who knocked up their high school sweetheart, not that she wasn't both sweet and pretty, and worked for their fathers at the store.

He wanted to be a pilot. So, that's what he did. Only he never thought it'd end up taking him to other planets (and galaxies, as he'd later find out. Give it a few years).

Nothing in this history had really clued him in that a trip to the firing range was going to increase the weird factor of the day.

Lorne let out a deep breath to calm his body down and leaned against the cool metal of the range station, trying to sort of what the hell just happened.

Okay, so it wasn't much, but it wasn't every day when you just talking to a redhead about firearms and then she kisses you (he knew from experience redheads were fiery, but damn), pulls away, apologizes, and leaves.

So to say he was confused is understating his condition.

He needed a nice cold shower.

Or to find that redhead.

_---In the Hall, yet again---_

"_I'm always busy, and could you not talk so loud, hmm? There are people here."_

Lennon rolled her eyes and kept her voice at the same volume, "You could spare some time."

"_How would you know that?"_

"I'm a mind reader."

Madison clapped a hand over her mouth to keep the noise from her giggling getting through the radio to McKay.

"_I doubt that, because otherwise you'd know I'm currently working on a calculation on the X-302's weight capa-"_

"Let Carter handle it. I'm sure she isn't too far from you." Lennon had considered keeping the jealously out of her voice, but decided not to bother.

"_How did you… never mind."_

"See you in a few then. Your quarters."

"_No, no, no. As much as I like… um… don't have the time."_

"Come on, Rodney." He just wasn't going to make this easy on her. She snipped, "Don't make me come get you."

"_You don't know where I am."_

She snarked, "Hmm, let me guess, the mission control room just off the one overlooking the Gate?"

"_Correction, where the Gate used to be."_

"What?" Lenny and Madge both exclaimed. (Which would have been even more obvious if the author could have conveyed that with a question mark _and_ exclamation point, but, alas, the server won't let her)

"_It's currently on a C-17 heading to Area 51."_

"What's the point of that?"

"_All part of the rather insane idea to strap it to the bottom of the X-302 and fly it out of the atmosphere."_

"That's pretty clever."

"_Yeah… well… leave it to Carter to come up with crazy ideas."_

She teased with a grin, "So why are you here if you're not actually doing anything…"

_He huffed, "I resent that."_

Her voice suddenly stern, Lennon responded, "Rodney, if you're not in your quarters in ten minutes, I will come look for you and make a rather embarrassing scene… worse than the one with Dr. Fraiser."

"_You're playing dirty."_

"You know you like it."

Madison giggled.

"_That's not the point."_

"See you in a few." She clicked the radio off and stuffed it in her pocket.

"He sounds… rather snarky." Madison commented, trying to find the right word to describe him that wouldn't sound mean.

"You don't know the half of it."

Suddenly the door to the firing range flew open, and a slightly frazzled Major Lorne (unbeknown to the two Busters) hastily walked out. He stopped when he saw them, swallowed heavily, and asked, "Did you see the redhead who left here a few minutes ago? She said her name was Charlotte?"

Lennon and Madison looked at each other and back at the man standing in front of them.

"Why? You stalking her?" Lennon asked. She wasn't about to give the whereabouts of her CO out to just anyone.

"No, I just…she…" He cleared his throat. "Did you see her?"

"She went that way." Madison pointed.

"Thank you."

They watched him follow in Charlotte's footsteps rather quickly.

"Why'd you do that for?" (Again with the exclamation point complaint)

Madison smiled, "She's already off the floor. He won't find her."

"It's the principal of the thing."

"Did he seem… off to you?"

"Charlie can do that to men. See you later."

"Lenny, I'm coming with you."

"No you're not." She waved behind her.

"I told Charlie I'd watch you, so I will." Madison threatened, but still kept her voice sweet, "Or I could tell her about the ship like I should."

"Fine. Be that way."

Madison smiled and ran to catch up.

_---Perspective change---_

Rodney McKay, destined to be known as "Answer man" though he didn't know it yet, was ironically short of answers. Particularly when it came to a certain raven-haired woman. She seemed to have showed up out of nowhere at the gas station.

Who wants to walk two miles to Cheyenne Mountain?

Not to mention the little explanation she gave for being there in the first place. It really didn't make too much sense.

Heck, the past few days didn't make sense.

He got a call from the Pentagon, hopped on a plane which really sucked because he tended to get airsick, got punched in the jaw by a crazy woman at a gas station, gave said woman a ride and she bailed before they even got to the mountain, was humiliated by her in front of the base CMO, became strangely attracted to crazy woman, kissed her, was bailed on, almost killed Carter with electricity, ended up in… on the bed with the crazy woman…

Seriously.

Huh?

Not that he was complaining about the kissing part or anything, it was just… strange.

And he was feeling underutilized in the planning of the… plan. Yeah, it wasn't his wacko idea and he was a visiting scientist to the SGC… but he still was the foremost expert on the Gate.

At least he got out of Russia for a while. He could build naquadah reactors in his sleep now.

The coffee mug was clenched tightly in his right hand, salvation from sleep inside. Real name- caffeine.

Still yawning no matter how much coffee he drank, he opened the door to his oh-so-lovely guest quarters, a room he barely saw over the past two days, the earlier… meeting with Lenny included.

The pesky desk chair had already been returned to its proper place, never to be tripped over again. Hopefully.

_-Oh look, changing perspectives again, how convenient-_

"You just need to break up with him, right?"

Lennon shook her head, "Sometimes you can be so naïve."

"What're you gonna do then?"

"We can't have him remembering me."

A few seconds and more hand circles from Lennon later…

"Lenny! That's a little much."

"It's not. You're gonna back me up on this, aren't you?"

"Well…I… not a full grown bunny, right?"

"Of course not." Lenny brought her pack down off one of her shoulders so it swung to her side as they stood outside Rodney's guest quarters, speaking quietly. "It's just a baby one." She lifted the cover so Madison couldn't see the flower-printed, baby blue, pink, and white towel since Lennon still had a rep to maintain, "I just need to wake-"

The brown fur ball jumped out of its makeshift bed and hopped around the corner before either one of the Busters could whip out their zats.

"This is not happening!" Lennon started taking off after it.

Madison grabbed her arm as she passed her, "I got it. He's waiting."

Lennon tried to get her arm out of the geek/goon hybrid's grasp but failed, "Madge... Let. Go."

"I got it Lenny." She smiled and disappeared around the corner.

"But-" She sighed heavily and knocked on the door, not caring how she looked.

It swung open, "What the hell's wrong with you?" Rodney asked, taking in her clenched jaw and bound up fists.

She pushed her way passed him, "This day… these days are just insane!"

He closed the door, sealing them off from the world. "You don't have to tell me about it."

"This was supposed to be easy, smeezy. In and out in a day." She started pacing, "Then there's this whole Gate thing, which hasn't messed up anything actually… but it could have!" She pointed and wiggled her finger. "And now there's you and I'm gonna be stuck here for another day knowing how thorough Charlie is. Gah!" She threw her hands in the air as she kept pacing, "If this is what happens after a vacation, I'm never taking one again!"

"I did say not to tell me."

"Jerk. I wasn't listening."

"Figures." He huffed.

Lennon finally stood still, "And you're soo big on listening."

"Matter of fact, I am."

"Then what did I say?"

Rodney stammered, "Uh… well…about vacations…"

"See, proof of point. I'm doing that a lot lately…with Charlie… you…"

"Whatever. You were ranting. I let you rant."

She snarked, "Well, ain't that nice of you."

He crossed his arms, "I have my moments."

"Few and far between."

"What was so urgent you needed to see me?"

What she needed to do was stall until Madison got back with the amnesia bunny, "_You_ weren't doing anything important."

"Just because it wasn't my idea to get rid of the Gate, doesn't mean what I was working on isn't important."

Lennon snorted, "Ain't that a nice spin."

"Ugh! You're insane." Which brought him back to his earlier thoughts, "What are you doing here exactly?"

"I told you."

"You danced around it."

"Why do you care now?"

"Because it doesn't make sense."

"Of course it does."

"No it doesn't."

"I'm not getting into this argument with you." Where was Madison? It was just one little bunny…

"Because you know I'm right. I'm always right. Take our last argument for example."

She shivered, rather pleasantly, at the thought but shook it off, "One time." Why did all those 'one times' follow her around? "You win one argument and you get all puffed up. Men."

"Women aren't any better. With your… charms. Especially you. There's no other way I could've fa-" He stopped himself.

"Could've what?"

"You're not my type. Not in any way, shape, or form."

"You're not mine either."

"Then how'd we… why are we so damned attracted to each other? Hmm?"

Lennon tried to think of a reasonable answer that didn't deal with plot bunnies, "Erm… well… sometimes these things happen."

Rodney huffed, "Yeah right. That's not an answer."

A little light bulb lit up in her brain, "It's a chemical reaction, there's not much to understand."

The knocking spread instant relief through Lennon and she moved quickly to open it.

Rodney protested, "That's my door!"

"Madge! _Please_ tell me you have it."

The mousy young Buster smiled brightly and held up her Care Bear towel, now functioning as an impromptu sack.

_-PSA-_

_A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker, or in this case Interuniverse Bunny Buster, can have._

_Never, ever go anywhere without your towel._

_-/PSA-_

"Yep."

"I could kiss you." Lennon stepped aside to let her teammate in.

"If there's any kissing by you, it's gonna be with me," Rodney affirmed before asking, "Who are you?"

"She's my friend."

"Not that I'm opposed to her joining us, but I would have liked to know about it before… prepare and all."

"It's not like that. Get your mind out of the gutter."

"My name's Madison." She shook his hand even though she had to grab it from his side, "Hi." She turned back to Lennon, "I liked Langly better."

"So did I."

"Hey, I'm standing _right_ here!"

"_Whatever_." Lennon gently took the cheerful towel-sack think from Madison. "It'd better be awake."

"It is. That's what took me so long. I had to keep trying to dive and stuff with the towel."

The towel squirmed.

"What is that?" Rodney took an instinctive step back.

Lennon deadpanned, "A bunny."

"Why do you have a rabbit?"

Madison answered for Lennon, "It's not a rabbit, it's a bunny, and it's for you."

"I don't want it."

"You haven't seen it yet."

"So what? I still won't want it."

"How about this?" Lennon closed the couple feet between them and landed a three-second kiss on him.

Madison squeed in the background, "Aww! You sure you can't keep him?"

Lennon pulled back and mumbled, "One last kiss."

Rodney removed his arm from her waist, more than annoyed that she stopped with the kissing, "What do you two keep babbling about?"

Lenny closed her eyes and brought the wrapped-up bunny to her cheek.

The thing with amnesia bunnies is their venom. Otherwise they're harmless and unassuming creatures. A full-grown bunny can wipe a character's memory completely or just what it wants to. A young, or baby bunny, can't erase as much and are more impressionable, meaning a canon, or in this case OC, can influence the bunny to make its venom target specific memories by quietly and emotionally whispering to it.

This had to be done carefully, or risk being bitten.

Because being bitten would suck.

* * *

**A/N:** See! I promised McKay/Lennon and I didn't break my promise!

Excuse me as I go to answer reviews and then pass out.


	13. Brainwashing Physicists

**A/N:** Well I couldn't very well leave a cliffie for too long…

* * *

**Part 13**_- Brainwashing Physicists_

Rodney's face was a mix of confusion and curiosity as he looked at Lennon with the Care Bear towel by her head. "What are you doing?"

"Shh!" Madison hissed.

"Don't shush me!"

Madison leaned over and slapped him in the arm, "Shh!"

"Ow!" He instantly rubbed his arm, "What'd you do that for?"

"Because I was busy." Lennon played with the towel so she was holding the bunny directly and let the fabric fall down so its little head was revealed.

"I still don't want it." Rodney stood defiantly, "What is wrong with you all of a sudden anyway? And where did you get that thing?" He pointed to the fur ball.

"This isn't all of a sudden, something's been wrong with me practically since I got here."

The room suddenly got very oppressive as he looked at the two women, "I uh…I don't think I'm gonna like where this is leading…" Two women in his quarters should be a good thing!

"You won't remember anyway." Lennon moved closer to him.

"Stop with the cryptic crap!... oh god you are going to kill me, aren't you? And you got your friend to help!"

"For the last time, you're not dying!" At least as far as Lennon knew… you never know with writers. They do like to knock off minor characters all the time.

"Then why are you two blocking the door, hmm? And what is with that damned rabbit? Kill me with rabies or something?"

"Do plot bunnies even carry rabies?" Madison asked Lennon quietly.

Lennon shrugged, "Could be possible. Not very likely though."

Rodney was inching around the edge of the room around the Busters, on route to the door. And security. If the women weren't going to answer his questions, then security could pry it out of them.

Madison saw and stepped in front of him rather menacingly given the fact she wasn't that big of a person.

"Just touch the bunny, Rodney."

"Not unless you tell me why."

Lennon looked to Madison for some help, she shrugged.

"You really wouldn't believe it if I told you…"

"Try me."

Lennon sighed exasperatedly, "I'm about ready to do this the hard way."

"What's the hard way? A zat blast would cause trouble, ya know. With the time it takes to recover and everything."

"Thanks for pointing that out, Madge."

Rodney's face dropped at the mention of zatting, "I was right! This is all part of some plan… maybe not to kill me… but brainwash me or something. I can't believe I liked you, and you let me, that was not fair. So who do you work for? The Trust? Some new secret organization?"

Lennon rolled her eyes, "Yes, Rodney. Seducing you was part of some larger plan to get you to go work for my boss on a diabolical plan to take over the world using science rather than military force."

"I knew it!"

"And this bunny has been biologically altered to produce a substance to make it oh-so-easier to brainwash you."

Madison giggled in the background.

"So if you'd just let it bite you, we can all be on our way."

"No thanks, though it is flattering. I'll pretend this never happened and I'll just head back to-"

Madison placed herself firmly in front of the door so he couldn't get out. "Do you really have to do this, Lenny?"

"You've seen him! He's paranoid! He'll dig into this, and he's smart enough to figure some stuff out, if that happens, Charlie will really kill me!"

Rodney stammered, "No, I won't. Promise. Really. Cross my heart and hope to di- … well, not die… but uh…"

"Relax, Rodney. Take deep breaths. It isn't bad, honestly."

_---Off to see the wizard…err… CO---_

Charlotte had calmed down from her earlier state of anger. Anger at herself for being so bloody stupid as getting shot by a ship bunny and letting herself get shipped.

And no, not by a nice fluffy bunny, but _smut_. Not that she didn't like smut once in a while, but that's a different story.

She resolved that it wasn't completely her fault, Marcus… no… Lorne did inadvertently make first contact handing her a clip, therefore establishing the ship.

She didn't have to kiss him.

Yet she did.

The whole thing was breaking exactly 8 regulations, and she should know being a CO.

But Charlotte Walker wasn't one to not finish a mission if completion was in sight, and she was a grown woman, she could avoid Lorne. No big deal.

The floor she was currently on was sparse of traffic, and when she did run into someone, it was awkward to say the least.

Of course it wasn't helping that sleep-deprivation was weirdly catching up to her despite the couple hours of sleep earlier, and she was starting to get a little loopy.

At one point she could've sworn she saw General Hammond walk by arm-in-arm with a young woman. Then there was Gabriel and Xena in a rather compromising position in one of the corners, only to disappear when Charlie actually looked over there. The next corner contained Aragorn and Arwen in a situation Tolkien definitely didn't write about.

She banged her head against the wall, "I'm hallucinating… great." It had to be a side effect of the smut ship. It _had_ to be.

Sliding down against the wall, Charlie dug out The Patented Anti Plot Bunny Agency's Bunny Handbook and flipped to the section about ship bunnies. Maybe she missed something, not that she'd admit it to anyone. Ever.

After reading the passage about smut bunnies again, and again, she knocked her head back out of frustration.

Then she noticed tiny print at the bottom of the page.

A footnote.

Squinting, she still couldn't read it, so she had to dig out her magnifying glass. It was of the typical large black-metal kind.

– _In rare cases, it has been reported affected OC's developed vivid and progressively... steamy hallucinations._ –

"Great." She muttered.

_- These symptoms faded after time and distance from the other member of the ship, ranging from days to weeks and miles and universes. Or, one could take the easy way out and have a quickie. (With the other shippee) But that's against regulations… 14 of them. _-

Charlotte groaned and shut the book. They really should make that in bigger print. Apparently Head Quarters had a sense of humor. What she needed was a viable cure because now there was Kirk and one of those green alien chicks getting hot and heavy out of the corner of her eye.

She shut her eyes to block out the sight.

It was like a Twilight Zone episode… no the Outer Limits. The new Outer Limits.

Huh. Lorne looked like that one guy who was eaten mid-performance by the alien-possessed chick… the alien was from the asteroid… and the chick looked strangely like Phoebe Halliwell…

Weird.

Yep, this was definitely Outer Limits territory.

She opened her eyes again cautiously, but closed them quickly. "That is just _wrong_!" Two munchkins straight out of The Wizard of Oz were… well… you get the idea.

"Someone just put me out of my misery already!"

_---Cue scene change---_

"You could be arrested for this! No, thrown in military prison! You don't want to go there." Rodney backed up and avoided tripping on anything as Lennon followed him around the room with the bunny in hand.

Lennon wasn't so lucky. She hit her leg on the little table, lost her balance and the bunny went flying.

But, it went straight at Rodney, somehow gripped on to his ugly plaid-like shirt and ended up on his shoulder.

He pawed at it, "Get it off!" It clawed to his other shoulder, and the two of them went back and forth in a sort of dance. Panicked on Rodney's side, rather calm on the baby bunny's.

Madison gaped wide-eyed from her place at the door.

Lennon hopped (no pun intended, honestly) to her feet just as the bunny leaped to the floor and started cleaning itself.

Rodney lifted a hand to his neck and looked rather blank.

"You should sit down…" Madison guided him to sit on the edge of the bed. She turned to Lennon, "Did it work?"

"Looks like it." She pulled out the zat from the waistband of her pants, "I've never actually purposely erased someone's memories before..." She looked at Rodney, feeling relief but somewhat sad about the situation. She blamed it on the ship.

Madison patted the eerily quiet Rodney's shoulder, "Are you sure you told the bunny what you wanted it to do?"

"Yeah." Lennon's sights laid on said bunny and she zatted it until it disintegrated. "We should go."

"And just leave him like this?"

"We can't have him snap back into it and find us here! We'll wait outside until he comes out."

Rodney shook his head with closed eyes, as if trying to clear his head, which was rather ironic.

"Come on, Madge." With her zillion-ton pack clutched in one hand, she dragged Madison out of the guest quarters with the other.

A few moments of silence passed out in the corridor.

Madison popped a piece of Bubblicious in her mouth and offered the pack to Lennon, "Want one?"

"Sure." With a little bit of effort, she got a square of gum out of the main packaging without looking at the flavor, unwrapped it, and started chewing. "Radical Red, huh? I thought they got rid of it."

"Nope." Madison blew a bubble and subsequently popped it. "You okay?"

"What? Yeah. I'm peachy. Dandy. Great. Excellent. Groovy even." She snarked as she chewed.

"So then why are you tapping your foot so much?"

"I can tap it if I want to. Lay off."

"I'm just trying to help."

Lennon sighed and softened her voice, "You have already. Thanks, okay? Don't make me say it again."

"Aww, you're so sweet." Madison smiled, "I won't tell anyone that either."

She huffed, "Good."

Madison asked innocently, "Want a hug?"

"I'll pass." Lennon kept tapping her foot and was about to lean up against the wall when Madison barreled into her. "I said I didn't… fine." She let herself be hugged for exactly two seconds.

"See, that wasn't so bad," Madison teased. "Hugging is good, it says you care."

"I wasn't the one doing the hugging."

"But you let me hug you. That means something too."

"Whatever."

The door calmly opened and Lennon held her breath.

Rodney walked out carrying a folder. The mug of coffee he brought with him, now quite cold, was held in his other hand. "Why are you standing outside my door? Something I should know about? The C-17 didn't crash did it? That would be soo typical."

Lennon shrugged, "How would I know?"

"Why else would you be standing outside my quarters at," he checked his watch, "two-thirty in the morning?"

"You tell me."

"How would I possibly know? I don't know you."

Madison kept shifting her gaze between the two of them.

"That's right. You don't."

Rodney shook his head mumbling something about women and walked off. Lennon looked after him.

"It worked. He seems to remember other stuff about the day." Madison commented.

"One mission accomplished." Lennon snarked and walked off too. She turned her head to her teammate, "Are you coming? I can't baby-sit myself."

* * *

**A/N:** That's a sign this is going to wrap up soon. As in one chapter. Maybe two. We'll see.

I'm kinda feeling sorry for Lenny and Rodney... huh. That's unexpected.

Sorry if this was a little more of a downer, I really didn't have a good day, then I wrote this... the art imitating life thing may have attacked a tad.

G'night everyone!


	14. Life Block

**A/N:** This is about an aspect of writing, if Techie can do these type chapters, so can I! lol

This is completely optional, but it will explain why I'll have disappeared for a week.

* * *

**Life Block**

Reeling from a bad day filled with yelling, arguments, and disappointments, Nenya went to bed at exactly 3:00 am, the only good thing about the day was an almost automatic review, and that was after midnight.

But life still wouldn't leave her alone, and thoughts kept nagging her until well into the 4 am hour.

Then the construction crews started working at 8:14 am just outside her window.

She cursed and threw the blankets over her head, but the noise wouldn't go away. Instead, she was destined to ignore it and roll out of bed somewhere in the 11am hour, determined to have a good day, something certainly made easier by some reviews and a long shower.

The phones kept ringing, both lines, utterly refusing to just stop.

So she took the dog for a walk, listening to The Used.

Then more phone calls came, forcing Nenya herself to make phone calls about the other phone calls, until the situation was finalized.

She took a deep breath, then freaked out.

She has to be at the airport in the morning.

She hated flying with a passion.

And she hasn't packed or thought of what to bring or anything because the trip was cancelled as of a few hours before.

Nenya screamed out of frustration and opened the closest, searching for a suitable carry-on sized bag.

The closet almost ate her alive, but she fought back and was successful in her endeavors, sliding the closet door shut and cheering.

Then it hit her.

She hadn't done laundry for weeks.

Another scream and –

(Real life phone call)

- she ran to the basement to throw a load in.

Then there was the issue of the story she was working on that was supposed to be done by the time the trip came around.

But it wasn't.

Crap.

And the Stargate Fan Awards were scheduled to go live that very day and she wasn't going to get a chance to make sure _Phantom Thoughts_ was mistake free.

Confident the readers would understand and supposing she'd just have to live with what was up for _PT_, Nenya searched the house for little travel-sized bottles to put shampoo and conditioner in, because she was attached to her brand and highly doubted her sister used the same kind.

An hour later that whole thing was done, and she realized she forgot to switch the laundry.

And that her sister had given her no flight numbers, just times, the airline, and that she got Nenya an e-line ticket, and said sister would be at work until 11pm.

Not to mention she'd end up missing _The Pegasus Project_ and _Irresistible_ because she's the only Gatehead in her family.

That was not good.

She threw her hands up in the air and went to look for something to eat.

A McDonald's trip later, her clothes were dry and ready to be packed.

And the camera battery needed to be charged, and something of a chapter written, and the phone to be charged, and more calls to be made to notify friends and boss that now she really was going out of town for a week.

Her dog looked at her funny for her running back and forth in the house like a crazy woman.

The father stopped by on the way to get a tattoo and Nenya shoved him out the door and waved.

She was busy.

Another hour passed and she was packed and ready to go. Mostly.

Her eyes fell on her purse.

Both of them.

Three actually.

The one she wanted to take with her sat empty while the other two had precious contents divided between them.

She dumped both purses out on the floor, shooing her dog away, and in forty-five minutes had everything condensed in the new purse.

Humming with joy that everything was done, she realized she was hungry yet again and scoured the fridge for something remotely edible.

Settling on leftovers, she parked in front of her laptop and the fear hit her again.

Flying. Airports.

O'Hare airport.

She never had been to O'Hare… apparently it was huge. And that's where she had to change planes. Not sit on the same one and continue on her merry way, but change them.

She cursed her sister in her head, but not too much since the older, yet shorter, sister was paying for said tickets.

Battling away the fear, she checked her email – reading the review alerts, smiling, and headed off to read an email from Techie.

Her mouth hit the floor.

"What?" She asked aloud.

Her dog continued to look at her funny.

After a few moments of consideration, she thought that the plot bunny Techie set on her was pretty cool.

If Nenya had the energy for it, or was even alive in a week after plane-hopping across the country.

Maybe Airport Security would lock her away in suspicion she was a terrorist.

She made a mental note to wear 'normal' looking clothes in the morning.

Continuing to laugh and smile throughout the rest of the email and even more convinced that her and Techie had a weird Vulcan-mind-meld thing going on, she set down to write.

And nothing came.

- (half hour interruption from father to show off his tattoo and ask what the tattoo artist wrote down for care instructions because he couldn't read it) -

Now she had new plot bunnies taking her in a different direction and her mind was preoccupied with the fear of flying and airports and the men at the airports with guns and the secret air marshals…

But she had to write _something_ and it was against ffnet rules to just post author's notes…

So Nenya decided to write a little interlude about how life gets in the way of writing.

Sure, she could find some time to crank out a few thousand words during the next week, but not without taking time away from spending it with her sister and her family Nenya hadn't seen for over a year. And how would she update?

She didn't want to impose on their computer and take out even more time typing chapters up from the notebook.

It seemed writing would just have to take a week off.

Just don't tell anyone she had her writing notebook already packed.

* * *

**A/N:** See you all Friday the 4th. You can last that long, right? XD 


	15. Life Block, Extended

**A/N:** Again, this is completely optional, but some things happened that I thought would make some good fic.

Oh, and the stay with my sister, her fiancé, their two kids, his parents, and his parents' two dogs, two birds, and dozens of koi fish was very good.

Even if, and I'm quoting my sister, her kids are nuts.

* * *

**Life Block, Extended**

Apparently Nenya doesn't look old enough to vote.

But the writer's getting ahead of herself.

Nenya had done something that she never did before.

Fall asleep in front of her computer while it was still on.

Her eyes flickered open and looked at the little tiny clock in the right corner of the screen, it registering 2:54 AM, Central Time, instead of 3:54 AM, Eastern Time she had grown accustomed to in the past week.

Blaming it on jet lag, she shut down the laptop which had also trekked across the country with her at the suggestion of her sister only to be used to play the two part episode of Firefly – _Serenity_, and _The Train Job_ on another night.

Bringing it had been pretty much pointless.

Nenya was glad no harm befell it in her travels.

But, the writer's getting ahead of herself again.

The traveling aspect had been eventful.

Some couple took ten minutes to figure out the eline ticket console thingamabob, much to Nenya's annoyance and also to the man behind her. After she got her ticket in less than sixty seconds she commented to him, "That was quick."

She made it through security after having to dig her laptop out of its comfy place in the exact center of her bag, over to the Gate (oh how she was about to wish it was a Stargate, which would have been soo much easier), plopped down, and started to read her itty-bitty copy of Braham Stoker's Dracula.

The time ticked by on the clock on the wall not fast enough for her tastes.

Then the guy at the counter made an announcement.

"Our plane is coming from Chicago, and they are reporting a crew delay of over an hour… … … … If you have a flight out of O'Hare before 1:15, see me at the desk."

Nenya was sure her face was betraying her annoyance and anger, but beat it back.

Her flight was due to depart at 1:13.

Would she still make it? Or risk being stranded in Chicago?

The line at the desk was long and included the man she said the few words to at the ticket counter, and she decided to sit and wait until it got shorter because she did not want to stand in line.

Then the blonde chick at the counter next to the man made another announcement.

"For your convenience, we have a bus to Chicago…"

A bus.

Instead of a plane.

They had to be kidding.

But, they weren't.

And Nenya _had _to make the plane out of O'Hare.

After asking the blonde for advice, Nenya forked over her ticket and jogged down to where she said the bus would be.

The older man she had exchanged a few words to at the eline ticket console thing called out behind her, "Taking the bus to Chicago too?"

She stopped, turned, and answered.

Chatting about how unbelievable it was, they made it to their destination.

But there was no bus.

Did they have the wrong place?

Nenya and the man in the yellow shirt (which he will have to be called because his name is a mystery) looked around confusedly. He suggested they go check somewhere else.

For some reason that in hindsight was not the best idea, she went along with him.

They headed out and crossed the little road to where the cabs and other such vehicles were.

No bus.

She ran back, now sweaty in the 90degree heat, only to find herself with yellow-shirt man by the baggage claim and not the ticket pickup, where said blonde had told her the bus would be.

Cursing the idiots that designed Mitchell Airport, she ran up the escalator with yellow-shirt man tagging along behind her, walked through the pointless area of shops, down another escalator, and ran over the ticket pick up.

_Now_ she could see the bus outside.

It was one of those beat down airport shuttle type things.

And it was on its way to full.

After handing over her bag to be stuffed in the back along with the other luggage, she found a seat next to a quiet man in the front of the bus and settled in, constantly checking her watch. Yellow-shirt man headed further into the bus.

More people crammed in, and the last guy got stuck with a terrible seat that wasn't even a seat really.

A few more minutes passed, Nenya made a phone call to her sister who almost died of shock at the prospect of her baby sister on a bus with strangers to O'Hare instead of a plane.

But it was worse because there was no air conditioning.

And it was 90something out.

Great.

Her sister told Nenya that her future mother-in-law said not to talk to strangers.

Nenya bit back a laugh.

The driver announced a limo had come for the last guy on the bus.

A limousine.

The writer kids you not.

Amongst some lady saying "He deserves it for taking that terrible 'seat' " the guy left the bus and climbed into the white Lincoln Navigator limo.

Nenya clenched her teeth.

Not fair.

The bus started on its way and the trip was spent staring out of the bus's windshield and at the back of the driver who was literally dripping sweat. He was also on his stupid little Nextel phone/walkie talkie with the driver of the limo.

Which passed and left the bus in the dust, much to the chagrin of Nenya.

From their talks and the driver talking to one of the riders, Nenya deduced the bus had a bad tire.

She hoped it wouldn't just fall off.

Her brain raced and she wondered if yellow-shirt man had deemed her a naïve-little-woman who needed his help to make it to the bus.

Which, she didn't in hindsight. If he hadn't suggested they go look somewhere else for the bus, she would have stayed in the right place and not gotten all sweaty.

So there.

They made it to O'Hare in one piece, Nenya grabbed her bag, exchanged 'good lucks' with yellow-shirt man, and set off to navigate O'Hare.

She had no idea what Gate to head to. The ticket didn't say.

One of those big screen things was hanging over her head and she found the correct Gate.

Now, to find the Concourse.

Biting her lip, she avoided the masses of people, and saw that she had to go around the ticket counters to the security station set up in front of the Concourse.

The line was long, but it went by quickly and she once again found herself having to take out her precious laptop out of its comfy home, but this time she also had to take off her shoes.

The time ticked by and Nenya didn't bother to retie her shoes properly and took off for C26, thanking the designers of O'Hare who put in the moving sidewalks.

As she speed-walked with her million-ton bag that was hurting her shoulder, she looked ahead and wished those people ahead of her would walk instead of just standing on the moving sidewalk thing.

Lazy jerks.

At a break in the human conveyor belt, she switched to the other one moving in the same direction and arrived at the Gate as they were boarding.

She lowered her bag to the ground and sighed of relief.

Since they were boarding the more expensive sections, she made a quick call to her sister, and then headed onto the plane.

It was already mostly full and there was a man in the aisle seat of her row.

Great. Nenya had been clinging to the possibility of having a row all to herself.

Oh well.

At least he wasn't bad looking.

She peered in the overhead storage compartment to find no room for her bag.

The look on her face must have been… well… something because the baby blue-shirt man stood and helped her find a place in one of the other compartments, even taking the bag and stuffing it in.

She settled into her window seat, baby-blue shirt man into his, and Nenya buckled in having to tighten the strap and watched to see if anyone was going to take the middle seat.

But no one did.

Thank god.

She pulled out Dracula again, wondering once more if she really did look helpless, and was just starting to get absorbed into reading when over the speakers the flight attendant basically told everyone to stop what they were doing, sit down, shut up, and watch the little fold down screens for the safety video.

Nenya closed her book and in a few seconds, opened it again, having heard all the safety crap before.

Worried for one Jonathon Harker, she barely noticed the plane starting to move. But she did and closed the book.

The wing was visible from her seat and her mind flashed to an ole Twilight Zone episode with William Shatner.

She imagined seeing the ape-monster thing on the wing prying off panels and William Shatner, fresh from a stay at a sanitarium, trying to convince everyone there was a creature on the wing sabotaging the plane.

The plane started to take off, and other horrible plane stories flooded abstractedly into her head, jumbling into a big mass of fright.

Nenya closed her eyes, trying to get it all out.

She brought Dracula back out and successfully beat back the thoughts-of-disaster until wishes that Asgard beaming technology was real, that the Prometheus, Daedalus, or the Odyssey, even an Asgard ship could just beam her up and set her back down in her sister's living room.

If the Prometheus could move a building, it could move her.

Then the plane started shaking due to some rainy clouds, and the thoughts of disaster came rushing back.

The plane landed as Nenya squinched her eyes shut as she did at take off, and she waited for the millions of people to clear out ahead of her until she could go get her bag, which she was watching very carefully in the open storage thing three rows ahead of her. After what seemed like hours, baby blue-shirt man got out of the row, Nenya following him. He stopped at her bag and asked "Need help?"

"Sure." She answered automatically.

He got her bag down, handed it to her, and walked off the plane with Nenya following.

She knew the bag was heavy and all, but she could have gotten it down by herself. Honestly. She can handle her 54 pound hunting dog, and she can handle a lighter inanimate object.

Even with a recovering bum knee.

For some reason, in order to get from the Concourse to the front of the little airport, one needed to walk through a wide and except for a few chairs here and there, empty hallway that even bent at one point.

It took forever until it opened up to the main hub of the airport.

The exit around the security was off to the side, a large square archway along the wall that if you walked through from the other way, probably would've gone off.

Which, it did anyway as Nenya walked the correct was under it, along with a group of people.

Lights flashed red on it, along with a computerized voice which Nenya didn't only caught some of "You must… five seconds… four… three… two…."

Her eyes met with the other people, who all seemed to know each other and someone commented, "That sounds menacing."

Nenya ignored the weird archway and continued on her way, quickly seeing her sister waiting.

---

Nenya stared at her wallet in horror and back at the lady who checked boarding passes and ID's.

It couldn't be happening.

No.

Nope.

Not happening.

Maybe…

She handed over an old, pictureless state ID and university ID, with picture.

The only ones she could find.

The lady scrunched up her face and stated, "Do you have a passport?"

"No." Shit.

Nenya's sister stood angrily.

Nenya stared off with blank horror. What was the big deal? Her name was clearly stated on both, her picture looked like her, and the state ID had her weight and eye color.

"I can't pass her on this. She's over eighteen."

Nenya's sister insisted, "She's going home."

Okay. This was ridiculous. Nenya distinctly remembered them taking that very same state ID the last time she visited, and she was over eighteen then too. Just because she couldn't find her new ID shouldn't mean she couldn't get on the damn plane. It wasn't like she had a bomb or something.

Nenya growled at the woman and set off to the ticket counter to see the nice lady who gave her the tickets so she could initial them and say it was okay.

Nenya showed the nice lady the two ID's and the nice lady scowled and told her it should've been fine. It was a state college. All the info was clearly her.

That made Nenya feel better.

She went all the back to the other lady with her brand-new tickets, the lady took them, handed her them back in an orange sleeve, told her to keep it out, and Nenya hugged her sister goodbye.

Then the fun began.

One of the security people say the bright orange thing and called her over.

Nenya followed instructions.

The security lady said she'd been selected for extra security measures and was actually quite nice about it.

Okay. Nenya breathed. No big deal.

She pointed out her stuff coming out of the conveyor belt, followed the lady to the wall, and was patted down (barely at that) as three, yes three, people went through her stuff. Two women, and one man. Wiping down her cell phone, digital camera, opening her laptop, and barely even going through the rest of it. They all looked rather relaxed and were chatting away nonchalantly as Nenya stared in abject shock.

The original lady walked off after saying as soon as the last remaining security lady finished, Nenya could go.

The second lady was nice too and asked if Nenya's laptop went in her bag.

Nenya said yes. The security lady said she could put it back in, and then noticed she had no other bags and said, "That was a stupid question, what else would you put it in?"

Nenya smiled as she put it back in carefully, "Yeah."

If these were the people guarding air security, then we all are in serious trouble.

She noticed at the next counter thing a group of people and one other security lady holding small baseball bats of different colors.

Uh… what?

The second lady said Nenya could go, so she did, muttering about the napoleonic power-monger back at the boarding pass checking place on a severe power trip.

It was a small little airport. That woman needed to get over herself.

At least Nenya didn't have to take off her shoes.

---

After a super-short flight, Nenya hopped off the plane and admired the Cincinnati airport. Now, if she could only make it from Gate C63 to C26, it'd be peachy.

Looking around for signs, she found one that pointed her in the right direction and thanked whoever was up there that it was in the same Concourse so there was no more security for her.

Out of curiosity, she looked up at the big screen for her flight and gaped.

The flight had changed to C62. Where she had just been.

Sighing, she walked all the way back to the Gate, really wishing Asgard beaming technology was real, and sat down. She pulled out the ticket and almost collapsed.

It said C62. Not 26 like she had read countless times.

She wondered if her best friend's dyslexia was contagious.

Deciding that slapping herself in public was not a good idea, Nenya pulled out Dracula again.

At some point nearing the boarding time, a large young man, about her age, in a pink-shirt sat a few seats down from her.

A very pink shirt.

Like… pink.

Nenya doesn't do pink. It's hereditary. Her sister doesn't do pink either. Hell, neither does her mom.

Stifling a laugh, she continued to read until it was boarding time.

A non eventful walk later, she sat down in her window seat, slid her bag under the seat in front of her, and the pink-shirt man sat next to her.

The coincidence was pretty… coincidental.

And he was playing a gameboy.

Now, Nenya has no qualms or problems about or with larger people, when they sit next to you in tiny little airplane seats, it can get a little uncomfortable, unless you like the elbow brushing.

It also crossed her mind how opposite they were.

There she was, a little white woman reading a classic novel next to a larger black man playing a gameboy.

It must have looked at least a little comical.

---

Sinking down into her butterfly chair, Nenya connected her laptop to the internet as it sat on the cushy cubic stool/footrest/table thing in front of her.

Her email account had pages of new emails, chapter alerts, and updates from forums she hadn't posted on in months and kept forgetting to stop it from emailing her since she just deleted all the emails, unread, anyway.

Having successfully caught up on all the ffnet stories she was reading, she set out in search for transcripts of _The Pegasus Project _and _Irresistible_, having indeed missed both.

She would go to YouTube or torrent them, but the crummy dial-up connection she had made YouTube useless and torrents of episodes take days to download.

Squeeing since Stargatecaps had caps of the episodes, she searched for what seemed like ever to find transcripts. Her trusty Gatenoise didn't have them. Gateworld didn't have them.

Finally, she found _Irresistible_ at AbydosGate and laughed her ass off throughout the whole thing.

Then she only found a few synopses of _The Pegasus Project_. Though a few were detailed, she really was bent on finding a transcript.

The next thing she knew, she was waking up at 2:54 AM in front of her laptop, her body sprawled in the butterfly chair, arms and legs hanging off in rather odd, but comfortable ways.

She thanked that the chair was impossible to get or fall out of (something that had saved her numerous times when reading a certain WPBA author's works,… and other authors too), shut down the laptop, and crawled into bed.

Her eyes begrudgingly opened at the pawing of her dog at her side.

Dog.

But she hadn't picked him up yet…

"Hey, wake your butt up already."

Nenya sat up, "Hi…I can sleep if I want. It's my house."

"Not when you dump your dog on me for a week and leave me to poop-and-scoop and extra night than I should have."

The dog jumped on her, whined, and wiggled around.

"Okay, Cole… sheesh, I'm home alright." Nenya pushed the dog off and started to hop out of bed.

"Woah," Nenya's best friend, known as Napish for reasons readers do not need to know, shielded her eyes, "I'm really hoping you don't sleep in the buff because I'm scarred enough."

"You should know I don't. Lynn took the pictures of us."

"That so didn't sound good."

Nenya hopped out of bed in sweatpants and a tee-shirt, "The pictures don't look good." She scratched Cole's head as he panted with his tongue hanging out of his mouth trying to get closer to her. "Would you stop it already? I'm petting you. I'm here."

"He missed you. Ain't that sweet?" Napish rolled her eyes. "How was the trip? Flying and all?"

"I'll tell you later. How was the concert?"

Napish was about to start when Nenya stopped her, "Hold that thought. I have to make toilet."

"Make t_oilet_?"

"Yeah. I've been reading Dracula. It's polite."

Napish called after her, "What's wrong with saying you gotta piss like a racehorse?"

---

'Ding-dong.'

The dog barked.

She cursed.

'Ding-dong.'

More barking, more cursing as Nenya pulled Cole from the door and stepped out.

A man in a white shirt stood outside the door, took a look at her, and asked, "Are your parents home?"

Nenya wanted to say she lived alone, but hey, if it got her out of a stupid solicitor… "No." It wasn't like she was lying or anything.

"Oh, well… I'm (bleeped out of courtesy), the local Alderman, and I'm going around handing these out," he handed her a stiff piece of paper, "asking if anyone has any questions… but you don't look old enough to vote."

What?

Huh?

Nenya couldn't speak. Something that happened a lot. She doesn't do contradicting strangers.

"So if you'd give your parents that when they get home, I'd appreciate it."

"Okay…"

"Have a good day." He smiled and walked away.

Nenya walked back in and laughed, thinking she really should have said how she went to K-8 school with his son and had been able to vote for years.

Did she look that young?

She walked into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror.

So she was wearing shorts and a tee-shirt she bought in high school. It wasn't like she was going anywhere in 'em.

She laughed louder, causing Napish to call from the living room, "What the hell's so funny?"

Now Nenya understood.

She didn't look like a fully-capable adult, she looked like a high school student, not even old enough to vote, though she had passed that mark years ago.

No wonder those men at the airport helped her. It wasn't out of the goodness of their hearts, it was because she looked like a helpless kid.

Maybe she could get into movies on kid prices.

Nenya headed to her friend and asked, still giggling, "What do you think about me in pigtails?"

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, I'm off to write a new chapter… I promise! 


	16. Tom Foolery

**A/N:** An actual chapter this time! See? All is well.

* * *

**Part 14-**_ Tom Foolery_

Once in awhile, Rodney McKay was indeed a good liar. It barely happened since the forces of the universes had to be in the correct places relative to each other. In this case it happened by sheer demand of the writer.

A few hours ago, the astrophysicist successfully pulled off a lie.

A big one.

Huge. Gigantic. Bigger than a megalodon. Which is pretty darn enormous, an ancient shark the size of a ranch house.

Too bad he won't be remembering it in a few hours. But, we're getting ahead there… shh. Don't tell Techie.

Wait… why would she care?

Seriously. Not like she hasn't gotten ahead of herself before and she doesn't have power over this writer or knows what she's doing at any given moment of time.

-Snort- "Remember the striped bunny, Carter, Twilight Zone, harem bunnies, and those are just a few of the"-

Shush you!

-"Don't shush me!"-

(puts on aluminum foil helmet to block Techie's brainwaves)

Anyway.

Rodney whistled as he strolled down the hall en route to get some food to stave off hypoglycemia, his hands in his pockets, and in a pretty good mood, partly because the plan to rig the Stargate to the X-302 and the whole thing on top of a 747 was going pretty well, and mainly because he pulled off a lie that he wasn't even sure what he was lying about.

He managed to avoid getting brainwashed by simply shutting up and keeping his hand on his neck.

Ha.

Continuing whistling, (a certain song that you all know well, and if not, go read Parts 7 and 10 again for cryin' out loud) he passed through the doorway to the mess hall, instantly noticing the two women that tried to brainwash him heading to a table.

Great.

His heart flipped and his mind yelled.

Think of it like when… erm… your puppy died? No… Goldfish named Damien? No… um…

Nevermind.

Rodney just really did not want to be within any proximity of the crazy Lennon and her friend since he did not want to be brainwashed into a diabolical plan to take over the world.

He could do that on his own if he wanted.

But he still felt the pull to her.

It kind of sucked.

_---Dashing over to the two Busters---_

"He's not here yet."

"Your loverboy might have slept in. Nothing to cry over."

Madison continued pouting, "But he said to meet him here when they opened."

Lennon rolled her eyes and plopped ungracefully into a very uncomfortable chair, her tray of breakfast food clattering on the metal table, "So he stood you up, get over it."

Madison lowered herself beautifully onto the chair across the table, tray free since she wanted to wait until he got there, "Jonas would not do that!"

"How would you know? You've only known him for… how long have we been here now?"

"A little over two days."

"Okay. So you've known him for a max of forty-eight hours and spent hardly any time with him at all, you can't possibly know someone that well in that amount of time." Lennon stuffed a couple of bagels (two blueberry and a plain), a couple donuts (krawler, strawberry jelly filled, and a powered), all wrapped up in a system of napkins so they wouldn't get crumbs everywhere, in her pack.

"You seem to know McKay pretty well."

"No I don't."

"You said you know he'd go snooping about us if you didn't erase his memories."

"Well yeah. Wasn't that obvious?"

"No."

Lennon went for another way to explain her behavior. She really couldn't know him that well. She didn't want to know him that well. "I have spent more time with him than you have with prince charming."

"And done more."

"That's beside the point. You're just jealous."

"Of your ship?" Madison looked horrified of the possibility, "No way." She really did not like ship bunnies. They forced love. She didn't like that.

Lennon sunk lower into the chair, "Fine then."

"You okay?" Madison asked, worried, and her face instantly showed it.

"I'm fine." She huffed, "I can't even try and relax in these super uncomfortable chairs without you pestering me about it."

Madison kept pushing since she was not one to back down about stuff that could be hurting her teammates, "Since the…erasing or whatever you've been… off…"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"As if. You're sad about it."

"What if I am?" Lennon snipped.

Madison shrugged, "It's normal. Especially with the ship and everything."

Lennon hit her head on the table and left it there, "Why do you have to be so intuitive?"

"It's what I do."

"It's so weird. I should happy it's all over, no worrying about it anymore… but I'm gonna remember it all. He's not. It sucks."

Madison reached over and placed her hand over Lennon's, "Well duh. You do have feelings for him."

"I do _not_." She raised her hand, showing her pointer finger to make a… point.

Madison quirked her eyebrow, unseen to Lennon, but the silence gave it away.

"Fine. I like him. But it stems from the ship."

_---Back to the other side---_

Rodney didn't know what to think.

Ship?

Like?

Feelings?

But wasn't it all just part of the plan to seduce him into a secret organization hell-bent on world domination?

He glanced over to the table, trying not to draw attention to himself as he saw the brown-haired woman rubbing Lennon's arm soothingly as she continued to rest her forehead on the table.

Weird.

They didn't seem to be a threat to anyone on the base other than him, so he had let it go. Once the whole Gate thing was solved, he had been ready to enlist some help and find out who they really were.

It was also strange how they just left after that whole bunny thing.

He expected some brainwashing then. Alien-tech induced, or maybe with a pocket watch. It didn't matter.

Things really weren't adding up.

Now they were talking about erasing his memories and she having (gulp) feelings for him.

Very odd.

Not that he didn't have any feelings, but he had stuffed them away after the whole attempted brainwash thing, them being replaced by anger which was now dissipating.

He picked up the glass of juice and brought it to his lips, the smell getting into his nostrils.

Though it was distinctly red, cranberry to be specific, it also had a different and deadly smell.

Rodney immediately stormed over to the serving counter, glass in hand. "Are you trying to get sent to jail, or military prison, or wherever they send you people?"

The KP stared blankly.

"What is this? Hmm?"

The KP, a marine to be specific, answered, "Orange cranberry juice."

"Citrus sends me into anaphylactic shock! You could've killed me!"

"I still could." The marine KP deadpanned.

Rodney sputtered, "That's not… I….I've had enough of that today!"

"Jeeze oh peets, settle down already."

Rodney spun around at the voice, "I don't need you coming into this, Lenny."

Madison's eyes widened to resemble those of a deer.

Lennon stared, her face going from shock to anger.

Rodney bolted.

_---Meanwhile, somewhere else on base---_

Focusing on the job, mission, the work, whatever it's called was the easiest thing in all the universes and fandoms for our lone Buster Co.

Today was different.

She walked with the APBA Handbook in one hand, the other poised to grab the zat in the side of her SGC uniform black pants. One eye was reading and the other was scanning her surroundings for stray plot bunnies.

Basically, her attention was divided between the job and searching for a way to get the horrid, yet steamy, hallucinations to stop.

There had to be some way. A drug even. Just _something_ to take the edge off.

Charlotte could handle the effects of the (shiver) smut ship, but the hallucinations were just ridiculous.

How could she even begin to focus when canons from every universe she'd been to dotter her vision?

At least there weren't any sounds from them.

_That_ would have driven her bananas.

Though she had read the handbook countless times since graduation from the Academy, and though she knew there was nothing more about smut-side effects than what she had read a couple hours before, she kept looking and held on to a smidge of hope.

Short of jumping Lorne and time, it offered no other solutions.

Well then.

The corridor she was patrolling was hardly wide enough for two people to walk side-by-side, it being in the back and hardly used except the corners which were almost always stacked with boxes or those black crates.

She wondered it anyone knew they were even back there since she could have written 'Wash Me' in the layer of dust.

Another group of the seemingly-forgotten supplies sat quietly ahead of her where the hall split off into to separate ways.

Charlotte lowered the handbook, readied her firing hand, and peered behind the boxes.

_---Yep, you guessed it…---_

Lennon yanked her pack off the ground and ran out the door after him, leaving Madison sitting at the table.

She searched the hallway, movement at the end catching her eye by the elevator.

How did he move that fast?

Rodney waved triumphantly until she couldn't see him anymore through closed elevator doors.

"Lenny, why are you standing here?" Madison asked, tumbling into the hall.

"The punk got away. He was playing us the whole time!"

"But how did he know how to act?"

"Good guess and I did say I never did that before, he was bluffing and hoped we wouldn't find out. How could I not have noticed! Now I have to track him and another bunny down! This is plain insane!"

"Lenny, don't yell." Madison placed a reassuring hand on Lennon's shoulder.

"I'm not yelling!"

"You are speaking with exclamation points…"

Lennon swatted Madison's hand away, "I am not!"

Madison pointed to the lines above her.

Lennon scowled, "I see your point. Happy now? That ended in a period."

"Yes, thank you." She nodded and looked over Lennon's shoulder, "Jonas!"

"Hey, who's the one with the exclamation points now?"

Jonas looked weary, "Hi, sorry I'm a little late but the alarm clock either didn't go off or I didn't hear it."

"It's fine." Madison smiled.

Lennon mumbled, "Lame excuse."

Madison hit her in the arm.

"Hey!"

"After you." Jonas motioned to the door with a smile.

Madison looked at Lennon, "Uh…"

"I'll find Charlie to 'keep and eye on me.' " She rolled her eyes. "Gotta run lovebirds."

Jonas and Madison blushed as Lennon left with a wave behind her.

_---Back over here---_

Two brown amnesia bunnies were calmly cleaning themselves and sensing her presence, looked up with beady black and utterly evil eyes.

Man did Charlotte hate amnesias.

She pulled her zat and cleaned them out within a couple seconds.

It was a routine event, but it triggered a line of thought – forgetting memories, altered memories, mental conditions, Cmdr. Riker being captured in TNG and led to believe he was nuts in an insane asylum, ways to play with a person's mind medically, and then magically.

This whole thing led to her thinking of her first Bunny Buster CO.

Lily.

The name does convey delicacy, lots of pink, blonde hair, and a bubbly personality.

All the complete opposite of Lily.

She was… well… a biker chick with natural black hair, olive skin, and built like a female tank. She had virtually controlled the Buster operations in every cop universe, unofficially of course, for years, with the occasional dip into fantasy and scifi.

Lily laughed so hard the ground shook when newbie-Charlotte fell into the Helping Hands in the Labyrinth universe, threw a rope down, pulled her up, slapped her on the back, and handed her a cigar.

A year later she was driven mad.

By a tree.

Insane, wacko, funny farm worthy twelve times over. All because of hallucinations brought on by venom the tree secreted, very rare and not known except to a few people.

Luckily, a certain Beastmaster had helped the very young Charlotte and the other member of her first team by giving them the antidote.

Charlotte smacked herself for not remembering Dar sooner and proceeded to rifle through her pack as it sat on top of a stack of crates at waist level, hoping that the extra vile of orange solution was still in there after all the years.

Her pack wasn't nearly as packed a Lennon's, but it was well-stocked and even organized into sections. There were more pockets in the thing than a dozen pairs of cargo pants.

So to say searching for a vile as big as her pinky that she didn't even know was still in there or not was frustrating, would be underestimating it.

The hallucinations weren't helping either.

She refused to let herself be scarred anymore after catching a glimpse of Vulcan-shaped ears because there were some things Vulcans just should not be seen doing. Ever.

About a minute through the hunt, she determined that she really should sit and take a good look through what she had in there once they got back to HQ.

An old Zippo lighter that she hadn't seen in ages later, she hadn't found it.

Tobacco leaf crumbles later, still nothing.

Same goes for the dry cleaning receipt from the original Law & Order universe after a cab splashed a puddle all over her new pants.

That had been there for awhile…

Charlotte shifted her weight to her other foot, determined to find the stupid little thing even if she had to look through every pocket a hundred times.

Well maybe not a hundred… maybe just twenty-seven.

* * *

**A/N:** Damien just popped into my head while writing that bit with the puppy and goldfish. It comes from _Damien, Fish of the Underworld_ by none other than Elizabeth Bartlett on here. 

Great, now she's gonna think I'm obsessed with it… oh well.

I totally made up the hallucinating-venom thing… I thought it might work in the Beastmaster universe. Kinda. Sorta. Whatever.

The megalodon mention was because the Discovery Channel was playing nothing but shark stuff (Shark Week) when I wrote that part.

Oh yeah, the twist with Rodney… anyone see that coming? Because I sure didn't. It's all Techie's fault for sending me the plot bunny.


	17. The Search is On

**A/N:** Now for your update…

* * *

**Part 15**- _The Search is On_

Lennon muttered expletives, English and Yiddish mixed with a couple she picked up on her many travels, all so vile and harsh, they'd up the rating more than one notch if they were written out.

So they won't be.

Deal with it.

She was angry and completely ticked off that Rodney faked it.

(Gutter break)

Who _does_ that?

Now she had to find _another_ bunny and get Rodney alone, _again_, before they left.

And it all had to be done without Charlie finding out. If she did, she'd be even angrier that she would've been if she found out right away.

Lennon knew that if Charlie found out at this point, she'd be off to a disciplinary hearing, and there went any hopes of a holiday bonus.

… Seasonal bonus. The APBA doesn't _do_ holidays for plot bunny reasons.

So life pretty much sucked.

The mission sucked.

Checking in bihourly was routine and expected, so not as to rile suspicions up, Lennon radioed, "Pulled into a black hole yet?"

"_That'll never happen, though it does sound like something I'd have to pull your butt out of."_ Charlotte teased, sort of. It was more like making a statement.

"Yeah right. Madge is playing house with Jonas, and since you both seem to think I'm a five year old, I need my mommy."

"_Can it, Lenny. I'm not in the mood for any of your lip."_

"Fine." At least she hadn't called her by her last name. "What's your six?"

"_Level 15."_

"That's it? You should be on at least 14 by now cuz this mission in turning into one long bi-"

"_For someone building a rep for being such a top level Buster, among other more unscrupulous things, you can be extremely irritating."_

"Thank you."

Charlotte gave an exasperated sigh, _"Radio me when you're up here. And don't get into any more trouble."_

She snarked, "Yes mommy dearest."

With the active radio link disconnected and her zat drawn, Lennon cautiously hit the red button on the wall.

Red made her nervous. All the bad and deeply destructive buttons and switches were always red.

The wide door to the bay slid open.

_---Jogging over here…---_

Charlotte shook her head as the radio clicked off.

Lennon was always an interesting Buster to work with.

Speaking of Lennon, since she was going to rendezvous with her in a few, Charlotte really needed to find that antidote.

She was sure she couldn't keep neglecting the hallucinations for very long, and having Lennon around was just going to complicate things.

One would think a little vial wouldn't be that hard to find in one pack.

But it was.

And the CO was in fact ready to pick the whole thing up and dump it out on top of the crate.

Her better judgment went against it because if there was a situation, all her stuff would be all over.

That would not be good.

So there she was, rummaging for the zillionth time through the thing of cloth.

Worry was sinking in that she didn't even have it.

She found an old cigar that no longer resembled a cigar so much as a stained glob of wet leaves.

Weird. Her canteen must have leaked recently.

Throwing that on the ground with a disgusted face, movement caught her eye.

"Littering isn't good for the environment."

Her eyes widened as a certain Major stood casually a few feet away and she muttered, "Oh crap."

_---Back here…---_

Lennon looked around the room once she hit the light switch, "Hello there."

The SEP field generator (remember?) sat in its place in the far left corner, and a small group of amnesia bunnies were hopping around, looking very confused.

They did after all come back to the den to find it completely empty.

Lennon was excited over the possibility of one thing going her way and slowly raised her zat at the two young bunnies and three adults.

A sudden movement would have sent the bunnies into attack mode all at once and then this fic would meet an early and unplanned end with the erasing of all of Lennon's memories.

Hmm…

Nope, can't do it.

It'd be a great ending though, don't ya think?

It wouldn't fit into WPBA-universe canon though… ahh well. Back to the story.

The adult bunnies approached Lennon curiously and rather inch-work like from their places about twenty feet away when she leveled the zat at them.

She started zatting with spectacular aim, but the pesky thing with zats is their… slowness.

The last adult bunny sped up since it was being attacked and made it close enough to spring at her, its front paws splayed out in front ready to grip on to her shoulders and neck.

Lennon ducked and rolled a good five feet and added a shot at the end of the move.

The bunny was hit as it landed on the ground.

The two young bunnies looked at their… parents (presumingly, or maybe they ran the daycare as their real parents were out causing havoc) fallen and unmoving. Then they looked at Lennon.

The glare was not pretty.

In fact, it would freeze an inexperienced Buster in her tracks, but Lennon wasn't fazed and fired as quickly as possible, not bothering to get to her feet to do it.

The blast hit both.

She let out a heavy breath, "And no one saw that shot. Life isn't fair."

_---Follow the yellow brick road over here…---_

"Marcus." She corrected herself with a straight face, "Major Lorne. What are you doing up and here, by me…?"

"Still couldn't sleep."

"Did you try because sleep is very necessary for the proper functioning of the body." She should know, she was running on just a few hours and with the effects of the ship, she was more loopy and cloudy than she'd admit.

It was sort of like that one time at the Academy when all the girls went on a weekend trip to the city and ended up-

Ow!

Did you see that? Charlotte hit me. How'd she do that?

Oh she's gonna pay.

"No I won't."

"What?" Lorne looked both confused and worried.

"Nothing." She shot a scowl up and resumed her search for the vile, determined to ignore Lorne standing right over there looking all hot and manly.

Really hot.

"Is it warm in here?" He stripped off the green uniform shirt, leaving a very tight black tee-shirt that hugged his biceps and chest.

Told ya she'd suffer some payback.

Charlotte glanced up at him, wishing she hadn't, and looked back down, reverting to her inner-mantra of 'I will not jump Major Lorne.' "It's not. In fact it's cold, very cold. Freezing. Think Siberia."

"It's odd that such an out of the way place on base is so warm."

Charlotte bit her lip continuing her search, "What are you doing back here exactly?"

He shrugged, one hand in his pocket the other holding the shirt, "I was walking around and ended up here."

"I'm sure it happened exactly like that."

"Are you accusing me of something, Charlotte?" He asked rather… flirty. Hard core flirty.

Charlotte sighed and snipped, channeling Lennon to keep sweetness from creeping into her voice, "I'm not accusing you of anything, Major."

"Marcus."

"I'd appreciate if you'd address me as Sergeant, Major." She looked up after she said it and caught his eyes.

His whole face had fallen into a miserable expression.

It broke her heart and made her want to forget regulations for once and go and live life.

He sobered up almost instantly, "No problem, Sergeant."

"Good." She swallowed a lump in her throat.

"You were right though. I was looking for you." He reached into the green shirt pocket.

She furrowed her eyebrows.

"I heard I owed you these." He pulled out a pair of aviator sunglasses and crossed the few feet to her, holding them out.

"I can't accept these."

"Call it a parting gift." He placed them next to her pack, winked, and strolled away.

Charlotte stared after him pretty speechless.

That was it?

He wasn't going to put up a fight and try to get in her pants? Smut bunnies drove unknowing characters and canons crazy.

But he resisted.

Completely.

Holy crap.

What a gentlemen.

That alone caused her to want to run after him. But she kept her feet firmly planted and didn't move an inch as her logical mind told her to.

It didn't stop her mind from wandering though.

A new hallucination that involved Sherlock Holmes shimmered into her vision, snapping her back into reality and she looked into the pack.

Sitting right on top was a vial of orange liquid.

"No effing way." She whispered.

_---Dashing again--- _

Whistling, but too stubborn to whistle our favorite show tune and opting for a Clash song, Lennon disintegrated the stunned adult bunnies.

She zat-

Erm. –sat on the floor next to the two young bunnies and flipped the top of her pack over. The donuts were still there, properly wrapped in napkins, but they weren't in the way so she just left them in there.

The plastic container she was looking for was just below the ACME Invisible Paint. It had a springy latex film over the top, and was typically used for milking snake venom.

She had other uses for it.

Picking up one of the stunned young bunnies, she whispered in her best Elmer Fud voice, "Be vewy vewy quiet, we're milking rabbits."

* * *

**A/N:** I know, I know. There was no jumping of Lorne. It just wasn't gonna happen for character and story reasons.

Oh and in case anyone's wondering why I haven't been replying to reviews as of late, ffnet has decided to pick on me by crippling that feature for me.

Huh. Maybe it's some sort of WPBA curse cuz it's doing that to Techie too… huh.

Anyway, I still read them all and they keep the bunnies alive, so thanks! And thank you for reading!


	18. Time Flies

**A/N:** This is late, I know. Blame… life and health and _Serenity_ and Joss Whedon.

Wait, you can't blame Joss, he's… he's… brilliant.

So just blame my health. Or lack thereof. It comes and goes.

And the State Fair.

I went shopping for a friend's birthday gift and _had_ to pick up _Serenity_ when I was there. I proceeded to watch it, watch the Deleted Scenes, the Deleted Scenes but with Joss's commentary, bloopers, all the other bonus features, then the whole movie again with Joss's commentary.

All in one night and I loved every minute of it.

Man am I a Browncoat.

And proud of it.

**Part 16**- _Time Flies_

Milking amnesia bunnies was not an unheard of thing since researchers back at Head Quarters had been working on an anti-venom, but hadn't come up with anything, and won't for at least another four years because they haven't yet according to the current APBA Handbook.

The amnesia lab at HQ was a fairly popular site for field trips, so Lennon had seen this kind of thing before.

Not that she ever actually milked a bunny though.

There was a first time for everything.

Pausing before she put the short fangs, really slightly overgrown canines, over the cup, she wondered if the bunny's venom had changed as she emotionally prodded it to since the bunny was stunned.

If it didn't and she injected Rodney with it, she might even face termination.

Nah. They wouldn't do that to her. She was too valuable.

With her hand on the top of the bunny's head, and one finger over each of two small glands above the fangs, she hooked the top of the mouth over the lip, fangs piercing the latex with a pop.

And nothing happened.

The cup was dry.

"You have got to be kidding me…"

She thought back to the amnesia lab and tried to remember what the techs did to get the venom to flow.

The semantics were the same and everything.

Unless…

She applied pressure to the glands and the venom flowed down the side of the cup.

"Finally."

And it wasn't opaque black like full-strength venom, instead it was more of a transparent grey.

"This better work."

_---Perspective switch ---_

The scent coming from the open vial was the most disgusting thing Charlotte had ever smelled. And that included the Bog of Eternal Stench.

She really didn't remember it being that bad. Of course, she hadn't been the one to drink it.

Lily's face _had_ been interesting once they forced it down her throat, but Charlotte had accounted that to the insanity brought on by hallucinations of fluffy clouds, smiling suns, and Barney.

"Here goes nothing…"

Holding her breath, she downed it in one gulp.

"Ack!" She winced and scrunched her face as if she just did a shot of the strongest tequila money could buy, and Charlotte never winced because of any alcohol. Ever.

The taste was a cross between an Easter egg left in the potted plant through June, the fuzzy blue mold on pepper jack cheese that's been sitting in the fridge for months, and a whole pineapple left in the back of the fridge so long it fermented inside (with the alcohol kick).

She had to brace herself on the crate that her pack was resting on to get her bearings.

Her mouth was polluted with the taste of the orange antidote and she really needed water.

Desperately.

And gum. Spearmint flavored gum.

"That crap better work."

"_So where are you hiding?"_

Lennon's voice over the radio took her by a bit of surprise, but she let it go quickly. "Level 15."

"_I know that. Where _exactly_?"_

"You should've asked that from the beginning," Charlotte teased. "From the elevator, take a left, a right, and two lefts."

"_Got it."_

"Hey Len, you got any gum?"

"_I have donuts."_

Charlotte laughed at the unexpected answer.

"_Oh and bagels. Forgot to grab some cream cheese though."_

"Some of those better be for me."

"_That was the plan. Can't have the CO dying of hunger on me. Do you know how that would look on my record?"_

"No worse than that mark for letting that canon get mauled by a horror bunny a few years back."

"_That was not my fault! … How do you know about that?"_

"I'm your CO. I memorized your file."

"_That's disturbing."_

"Not nearly as much as some things." She refused to look at the hallucinations and wondered how long the antidote was going to take to kick in.

"_It's really dusty back here _isn't it?"

Charlotte turned off her radio as she saw Lennon walking towards her. "It's a running theme."

"I'm starting to think they believe dust is a protective covering." Lennon moved down the hall rather nonchalantly for just having milked a plot bunny. The beaker was safe in one of the side pockets of her pack.

"More than a few people think that."

_---Hop on down the bunny trail across base ---_

"I really should get going…"

"You're saying that because you don't want to talk a walk with me." Jonas half teased as they stood outside the mess hall.

Madison kept a slight smile on her lips, "That's not it. I have things to do before I leave the base."

"I know how to pick my battles." Jonas held out his hand, "It was lovely to spend time with you, Madge."

"You too." She gently took his hand.

After a short shake, he leaned in, kissed her cheek, and whispered, "Good luck in that new job of yours."

Madison blushed and couldn't say anything as he walked away.

He disappeared around the corner, and she sighed.

But, Buster life was nomadic. Busy. And anything long term with canons was totally prohibited and had tons of regulations on it.

Brushing it off and returning to her happy self, she bounced along the corridor back on the job.

_---Few hours later because the writer is tired of filling in time ---_

"That's it, everything, you're completely satisfied with the sweep?" Lennon's mouth dropped open.

"Yeah. There's still a few loose ends, but we can head out in a couple hours. Two tops."

"But it's you. You always make us do another check if we're somewhere this size where it's possible. In your eyes anyway."

"You got a problem with leaving?" Charlotte asked, having almost forgotten there had been something off about the geek since the ship arrow.

Lennon snorted to cover her reluctance, "We've been here way to long already." Except she needed time to track down an astrophysicist… great.

"Contact Madge. Tell her to check if any ship bunnies came home to roost at their den on her way up to amnesia den to meet us."

"Why do I have to tell her?"

"Because I'm the boss and I told you to."

Scowling, Lennon keyed her radio, "The boss wants you to clear the ship den again."

"_Okay."_

"Then head up to the amnesia den."

"_Okie dokie."_

The radio clicked off and Lennon commented, "She's always so cheery."

"That's our Madge."

The elevator they had been waiting for finally showed up, the long wait partly because they were at Level 13, a floor barely used and the other floors were busy and hogging the elevators.

They stepped in and Charlotte hit '24.'

Silence fell over them. They didn't want to believe it was tense, but it kinda was.

They were both hiding ships after all.

Charlotte pulled out a cigar.

Lennon tapped her foot.

Charlotte chewed on the end of said cigar.

Lennon crossed her arms.

Charlotte placed her hands on her hips in a rather imposing manner.

Lennon shot a look over to her.

Charlotte met her eyes.

Lennon snapped her head forward breaking eye contact.

Then the doors slid open at Level 22 and two men walked in.

Charlotte's expression stayed perfectly stoic while Lennon fought to keep anger from flooding hers.

"Sergeant."

"Lennon."

"Major."

"Rodney."

The men stayed in the front of the elevator as the women practically flattened themselves against the back wall. Or whatever you call the back of an elevator.

Rodney hit '28' and didn't move from the panel and Lorne had to virtually push him out of the way to press '27.'

Awkward silence again descended, but this time over the four of them.

Lennon stared at the back of Rodney's head, forcing a glare off her face because her CO was standing next to her.

Charlotte stared forward, refusing to look at anything but the floor numbers change. Though the hallucinations did stop earlier, she really didn't need to get distracted by the Major.

Both women swallowed, knowing they'd have to make it passed the men, as the door slid open.

Luckily, Lorne stepped to the side, opening up a hole for them to exit through.

Neither woman said anything about the subject of obviously knowing one of the men since they didn't want any questions directed at them.

So they carried on.

The walk to the den was rather quiet and it should suffice to say rather boring.

If you want detail about it, too bad.

The last time she left the amnesia den, Lennon had been careful to turn the lights back off to make it appear no one had been there since they all left it what seemed like ages ago.

Charlotte flipped the lights on, it revealing exactly two bunnies that were quickly taken care of.

"Alright, Lenny. Go fiddle with the SEP field generator."

"Finally! I've been wanting to get a good look at it for ages." She stomped over to it, trying to formulate a plan to ditch Charlotte and find Rodney.

If only he had been on the elevator when she was going up to meet Charlotte a few hours ago, but no. Her life could never work out the easy way. It always had to be the hard way.

At least there was new tech to play with.

Lennon plopped on the ground in front of the generator, looking for a way to open the thing.

Charlotte stayed by the door, expecting Madison any minute. Then they'd maybe take a quick walkthrough…

Nah. It'd be fine. Once they got rid of the SEP generator, the base personnel would see any remaining bunnies and get rid of them themselves.

Except if they were the ship ones… they were pink after all and pink is not a normal color for the common Earth rabbit.

She pulled a lighter from her pocket and lit her cigar, the first one she'd smoked during the whole mission.

It was good.

There was knocking at the door, preceding it opening and Madison bopping in. "Hey girls."

Lennon waved behind her back, having gotten the generator open and being completely absorbed in figuring out how it worked. Even if it was from a universe where the laws of physics were broken.

"Any bunnies go back to the den?"

"Just one. It seemed awfully sad too. It was almost mercy killing it since it looked so lonely."

Charlotte retorted, "It was a plot bunny."

"I know that, I was just saying."

Charlotte blew a ring of smoke up into the air.

Little holes were torn in it by drops of water.

More drops fell from above.

"What the…" Charlotte looked up through the now rain-like water to the high ceiling.

Lennon stood up and yelled, "You set off the sprinklers!"

**A/N:** I stayed up just to write all of that and upload it, so I hope you all enjoyed it.

More Lennon/McKay in the next chapter.

It might just be the last one too… we'll see.


	19. Soggy

**A/N:** There's still another chapter to go after this. It just got long so I split it up. The rest should be posted… erm… within a day?

In case anyone else besides Techie is wondering about the aviator sunglasses Lorne gave Charlotte in their last scene together: Charlotte told the airman at the firing range that Lorne had her sunglasses as an excuse to go into the firing range. Of course, he didn't really.

I left out…say as mystery or a 'missing scene' how Lorne found out about the imaginary sunglasses.

Hey, that sounds like a Challenge to me… anyone up for writing the missing scene?

Oh and the one where Charlie and Lorne kiss. So that's two Challenges.

**Part 17**_-Soggy_

"It wasn't on purpose."

"That smoking habit of yours was bound to cause problems, I just knew it!"

"Relax Lenny, it's water. It can't hurt you, unless you're part wicked witch."

"Funny, Charlie, really."

"You could use a shower, so call this a blessing."

"What is with you? Is this pick-on-Lenny day?"

"Didn't you get the memo?"

Madison still stood by the door, but now she had brought her Care Bear towel out of her pack and held it over her head in an attempt to block some of the water, "Could we find a way to turn the sprinklers off?"

"They're eleven feet over our heads, how do you propose we do that, huh?" Lennon snarked, holding her arms around herself. The water was really cold after all.

Madison shrugged, "You're the geek."

"You have some geek in you too. Your turn to come up with something for once."

After a few moments of the team standing in the 'rain' (for lack of a better term), Madison's face lit up, "We could make a human ladder."

Lennon sighed heavily, "Why don't we fly up there then?" No one could be oblivious to the sarcasm in her voice.

"We can't, we don't have any fairy dust." Madison stated matter-of-factly, ignoring said sarcasm.

Charlotte, who had taken the rainfall the best, standing like it wasn't raining at all, smiled and added, "Even if you did, fairy dust requires happy thoughts."

"What are you insinuating, exactly?"

"Nothing, Lenny. Absolutely nothing." Charlotte answered.

"I'll let you both know I have happy thoughts and I have trained in the kid fandoms like most Buster cadets. I had opportunity to snag some dust."

"You have some?" Madison asked.

"I never said that."

"But…"

Charlotte interjected frustrated, "Just figure something out before the base gets flooded."

"At this rate of water flow, it'd take days for that to happen."

"Not for some to leak down to the next level."

Lennon's face lost its snarkiness for about a nanosecond at what that would mean – investigation, "What do you want me to do about it?"

"Find a shut-off valve or something! Now!"

"You don't have to be so bossy about it."

Charlotte stood with her hands on her hips, staring up at the sprinklers, "It's in the job description."

"I'd like to see that."

Madison commented, "Any Commanding Officer's job description is the same."

"When Lenny was transferred to the team, she came with special orders."

Lennon asked quickly, "What? What orders?"

"Well, they were more like warnings. I also had to sign a form asking "Are you sure you're willing to take Lennon Fisk as your responsibility?"

Lennon's feathers were riled up but she let it roll off, "Good to know my rep was established back then." She looked up and a drop of water fell directly in her eye, "Damn it!" She wiped her eye, "We're completely soaked because you couldn't wait until we left to smoke one of those disgusting cigars! You're blackening your lungs ya know!"

Charlotte still chewed on her now soggy and snuffed out cigar, "I don't smoke them that often."

"You chew on those things so much, just grab some gum and hard candy. Something else than those things."

"I'll pass on the sugar."

"Then get sugar-free gum."

Giggling pulled their attention from bickering and they both turned their heads towards Madison.

The younger Buster, who was feeling neglected in the last few lines, was jumping in the puddles like a five year old, giggling and laughing the whole time, the towel whipping around as it was clutched in her hand. Her brown hair was no longer the only thing that looked mousy, since now she was looking like a drowned rat. A cute drowned rat.

Lennon cocked her head, "That's… uh…"

Charlotte finished, "Very Madge-like behavior."

"What? I'm already soaked. Splashing around isn't going to hurt anything." She continued to jump in the puddles.

Charlotte felt like pounding her head on the wet wall, "There's a time and a place."

Madison stopped and pouted, "You're no fun. I'll get back to work."

"Good."

Lennon shook her head and followed the pipes with her eyes, but now she kept a hand shielding her eyes, "What I wouldn't give for a ladder."

Charlotte asked, knowing the answer, "Even your LP collection?"

"Maybe not everything." Lennon followed the central pipe to the far wall, "Ahh there it is!"

Charlotte and Madison looked on amusedly as Lennon flattened herself against the wall and tried to reach the valve that was well above her head.

It lasted exactly 3.2 seconds until Lennon snapped, "A little help would be good!"

"I'll give you a boost." Charlotte headed over to the wall, locked her fingers together to form a sort of cradle and held them out by Lennon's right side with her knees slightly bent.

Lennon stepped on Charlotte's hands with her right foot and used a hand to brace herself on Charlotte's shoulder.

"On three… three."

In one motion, Charlotte hoisted Lennon up a couple of feet.

Lennon's left leg was hanging free, and with her free hand reached up towards the valve, "Higher!"

"I can't go any higher!"

"Try!"

"You're too heavy, you're going to have to sit on my shoulders."

"I am not going to do that!"

Charlotte let her down, half-dropping her really.

"Hey!"

"The only way to do this is to have you sit on my shoulders."

"Let Madge do it, she's the rookie."

"I am not a rookie."

"She was on this team before you got reassigned to scifi/fantasy two years back. Now climb."

"Oh come on… that's gonna be more than a little awkward. Think of the possible obscene jokes!"

"What jokes?" Madison asked innocently, only to go unanswered.

"Don't be so childish." Charlotte knelt on one knee facing the wall, the water on the ground not making a bit of difference since she was already sopping wet, "Climb."

"Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you." Lennon pointed up and huffed, "She's evil."

"What was that?" Charlotte asked, not hearing the last comment.

"Nevermind."

Lennon reluctantly pulled herself up, so her legs were around Charlotte's neck.

(Nenya wondered if she should say it…

Hell, we're all adults here.

Right?

If not, skip the next line.)

So as Charlotte's head was in between-

"Oh, I get it." Madison interjected.

Charlotte held on to Lennon's legs to stabilize her and stood all the up. Since Charlotte was fairly tall, it gave Lennon the extra height to reach the shut-off valve.

Finally, the sprinklers stopped, going from spray to dribble to drips to nothing at all.

Refusing to sit on Charlotte's shoulders any longer, Lennon hopped to the floor and right into a puddle.

Not that it mattered since they were all drenched already.

Charlotte wiped her brow with the back of her hand, "We can't walk around dripping wet."

"Who's fault is that?"

"We could change." Madison suggested.

"Into what? We don't have extra SGC uniforms with us and we can't walk around in normal clothes."

Charlotte observed, "There are new uniforms up in storage."

Madison kicked Lennon's shoe.

"Why'd you…" Realization hit Lennon that Madison was trying to give her an opportunity … "I'll go get them."

Charlotte hadn't seen the exchange between the geek and the geek-goon hybrid since she was busy wiping water from her eyes that had dripped down from her hair, "Dry off a little first. You don't want to be leaving a water trail."

"Always with the bossing. Between the two of you I get physically and verbally abused on an hourly basis."

"I've never even given you a bruise."

"It's the principal of the thing."

Charlotte noticed Lennon wasn't moving to do anything to dry herself off, "I know you have to have a towel. It's on the required mission items list."

"I don't need to use it, it wouldn't help much." That and she really didn't want Charlotte to see it, Madison was one thing, Charlotte was another. She was tougher. A flower-printed, baby blue, pink, and white towel would harm the rep she had strived to establish with her CO.

"Fine. Madge, you go get them. Make sure you get some boots if you can find them."

Madison was about to answer when Lennon cut her off.

"I'm perfectly capable of going to get them." She sighed, swung her pack off one shoulder, and tugged out the towel from the top.

Charlotte raised an eyebrow, "I never thought you'd go for a flower print."

"It's the only clean one I had." She dried off her face and hair, and skillfully took off the long sleeve blue overshirt while holding on to her pack. The long sleeve shirt looked bad wet, at least the black t-shirt didn't look wet, just a little clingy. "There. Happy?"

"It'll do."

Lennon walked over to the bay doors and hit the button to open them.

Charlotte called after her, "Try not to squish too much!"

_---Exactly 12.2 minutes later ---_

The corridor was active since it was approaching mid day, and every person that passed Lennon either gave her a weary or confused look due to her squeaking down the hall and her wet clothes.

At least now she had changed, but stubbornly kept her converse chucks on because no one could ever make her change those. They were a character defining item.

Besides, they were clean now.

And less squeaky compared to when she left the maintenance bay.

She inched up to the door so as to limit the still there squeakiness and with no one in the hall, put her ear up to the door.

It was hard to hear, but there was the tell-tale sound of the shower running.

"Ha, found you," she whispered triumphantly. The feeling lasted two nanoseconds.

The door was locked.

"You paranoid little man…"

She lowered her pack and out of one of the small side pockets, pulled out the most useful tool she had.

A bobby pin.

Within moments, she had the door opened and slipped in, closing the door noiselessly behind her.

The shower was still running so she decided to make herself at home by setting her worn pack on the table and sitting backwards on the chair, facing the door to the bathroom.

Clothes were laid out neatly on the bed- an equally horrid shirt as before, but this one had small vertical zig-zaggy stripes against a grey-beige background, a dirt brown collar, and was fully button-up. There was another pair of brown slacks, and another item that had Lennon holding back laughter.

Count Chocula was staring up from the pair of boxers.

She expected some other sort of print. (Not that she had thought about what type of underwear he wore or anything.) Something related to science. Like Einstein, Heisenburg, Schrodinger… maybe a periodic table.

But a cereal mascot?

That was just weird.

The shower shut off and whistling leaked out from the bathroom door.

It took her a few seconds to recognize the song as "Top Hat, White Tie and Tails," sung by Fred Astaire.

She wondered if there was a musical bunny they didn't catch.

There was no way to stifle her laughter anymore at the little insights she was getting into the strange psyche of an astrophysicist.

At that moment, Rodney walked out in nothing but a towel to find Lennon in his room dying of laughter.

His eyes widened and he started panicking.

"I'm a dead man… that's it. The world is saved but I'm still going to die, that's just so typical of my life. One good thing happens then everything goes to hell."

Lennon was still laughing so didn't notice his movement to the door until he was almost at it.

She launched out the chair and caught his arm, "For the last time Rodney, I'm not going to kill you."

"Not even after the whole faked-brainwashing thing?"

"No."

"That's good."

She still was holding on to his arm so she let go and stepped back, fully aware he had only a towel around his waist.

He suddenly remembered too, "Get out! I'm naked here. Wait, how'd you get in? I locked the door. And why is your hair wet? And why are you here?"

"One question at a time."

"I'm going to get dressed then." He jabbed his thumb over at his clothes.

"No you're not."

"I'm not?..."

"No."

"But- uh, do you mean what I think you mean? Cuz I would have liked to have some warning to prepare and uh, things." He stammered out nervously.

"I highly doubt you're thinking what I'm thinking."

"Oh. That's disappointing… Why not? We were well on our way to it before your CO radioed you."

"We were not."

"Yes we were."

"No, we weren't."

"I don't know about you, but I could've used a cold shower after that."

"Rodney, just shut up." Lennon rubbed her face and went on tersely, "I'm not here to do anything with you. Not that it hasn't crossed my mind, it's not a good idea and I don't have the time."

"Then why are you here?"

"To say goodbye."

The smugness disappeared from his face and he bit out, "Then goodbye Lenny." He opened the door, "Now get out."

She slammed it closed, "I have to do something first."

"I don't care. Get out."

She'd never admit it, but that hurt. "Rodney…I'll explain everything. Not that you'll believe me." Or that he'd remember anyway.

"Try me." He crossed his arms, the smugness returning.

But then the towel started to slip and he barely got a hold of it before it fell off.

**A/N:** I'm going to try not to get distracted and continue to write tonight, but … no guarantees. The internet is evil. Even more evil than bunny Nenya.


	20. GAH!

**A/N:** This is another optional chapter, but I just had to. This was my morning.

The actual chapter will be up before anyone even reads this.

**GAH! **

Nenya stared at her bed in regret because she wasn't in it.

Damn delivery guy ringing the doorbell at 8:40 am.

That's just so wrong.

Especially considering she hadn't gone to bed until 4.

She really should put a sign on the door that read "Works nights, wake before 10am and die."

After posting a chapter last night, she didn't write, even though she had stayed up an hour later than usual. Shame on her, she knows. But she got distracted by other people's fanfiction.

She really needed to stop doing that.

Then she picked up a book and read for an hour.

A book she'd read so many times she knew what was coming next.

She opened the envelope (without her glasses because she had literally stumbled out of bed, threw some sweats on, and answered the door) thinking in her half-awake haze it might be that check her friend said she was going to send her so she could buy RHCP tickets for everyone, the thought not crossing her mind that her friend wouldn't send it via-delivery person, and stared angrily.

It was a credit card.

She was woken up for a _credit card_.

Okay, Nenya was expecting it and everything since she had called and yelled at them for getting her name spelt wrong on the card they'd sent her.

One she did actually want.

Was there a law that said that had to be an 'l' at the end of her first name?

In anger, she had checked her mail in hopes of a review or two to cheer her up.

Which she got thank you very much.

Now she couldn't get back to sleep and new plot bunnies were starting to nibble at her ankles.

Techie.

It was all Techie's fault in that email.

Sure, they were brilliant plot bunnies but… but…

Damn it.

Nenya really wanted to write the last chapter and be done because Meeting of Minds was getting to her.

The other night she had a dream.

Not a good dream, but one where she woke up in terror and fright. Did I mention the terror?

(shakes head to get the Wash moment out of it)

**Flashback/**

Nenya looked over to her right to see a man she'll refer to as Oscar from now on because as far as she could remember he didn't represent anyone.

Except he kinda was like Giles.

Okay, so now he's Giles. Rupert Giles. You know, from Buffy?

(Nenya wondered why Joss Whedon had invaded her brain this morning)

Giles was reading from a book what sounded like Latin. Two others were on the other side of him, but she couldn't see them very well, and all were facing the front of the church.

Yes, church.

A whirly portal started opening and Nenya looked on in fear.

Were they crazy?

Did they know what they were doing?

A large creature started to crawl out of said portal, a large disgusting, scary monster.

A horror bunny.

She turned her head around and saw her dog, who had somehow gone from an English Springer Spaniel to a large collie, bolt out the door.

She followed.

The horror bunny followed her.

She ran around the corner, green grass lining the block, and her dog was gone.

Just gone.

So was the horror bunny.

But she kept running down the endless block until she looked behind her and saw Jonas.

He was walking towards her on the other side of the street and waved her down.

For some reason, she went with him back to her house, where the others were waiting.

Giles apologized for her loss and then it hit her.

The horror bunny killed her dog.

Oh god.

She started to bolt again but was stopped by some unknown force.

At some point a package was delivered for Jonas – bundles of letters and one large envelope.

She spied on the letters as they sat unopened on her kitchen table, and looked up.

In the living room, Jonas was standing with his face buried in his hands.

Giles had a comforting hand on his shoulder.

The other person, unspoken of until now, was a woman known as Techie.

It hit Nenya that a Buster had died, a Buster Jonas knew well. Madison.

Giles stepped away, "We're one Buster down. We can't continue with the mission."

Nenya swallowed hard and left.

Madison was gone, so there was no hope of replacing the spot Nenya left on the team quickly.

Giles came out of the house, looking dejected.

For some reason, bravery surged up in Nenya and she went up to him, "I'll do it. I'll come back."

"Good." He shoved a bottle of water in her hands, without the cap on, "Practice."

Nenya flung the bottle around, trying to get the water out of it satisfactorily, but to no avail.

It wasn't fair. The others got ones with sport-tops, easy to squirt a steady stream of water at the horror bunny.

(For reasons unknown, the dream had crossed WPBA and MoM with _Signs_, a movie Nenya had seen exactly 1.6 times. It also crossed with Buffy somewhat, with Giles and the portals thing)

Before going back in the house, Giles poked a hole in the cap and handed it back to her, making it easier to use.

They entered the house, Jonas and Techie looked at her and nodded, getting into fighting position in the living room.

Nenya left the three on one side, facing where they were going to call the horror bunny, and went in the hallway, next to the wooden slats that made up part of the wall in between the living room and hallway.

A perfect ambush position.

The horror bunny returned in another swirl of a portal, but everyone was ready this time.

Nenya would avenge her dog.

-

She was aware of noises coming from outside her window, voices specifically. But what were they doing…

Oh right. The road construction crew.

Nenya remembered the dream they had cut off, and shivered.

It was just so weird.

The horror bunny attacked her dog, that was just so wrong.

Along with dreaming about the WPBA 'verse. Yes, it was a twisted version, but that was a horror bunny.

Damn she needed to get MoM over with.

**/Flashback**

Nenya looked at the clock.

10:02 am.

Should she crawl back in bed like she said in the review for Bartlett's fic?

… it was a slim chance she'd actually get to sleep, but…

But…

It was worth a shot.

**A/N:** Yeah, that was my bizarre dream about a week ago. I tried to write it so it made some sense, even gave all the dream-characters names and everything.

I did get back to sleep for about 40 minutes amazingly.

The plot bunnies sent by Techie did get used and molded into what I had in mind for the last chapter, so carry on!


	21. Crazy

**A/N:** This is the last bit, no matter how much you all poke me!

**Part 18**_-Crazy _

"Uh, clothes would be a good idea."

"So now you're going to let me get dressed, unbelievable." He stormed over to the bed, one hand clutched tightly around the white towel.

"To prevent future accidents." Lennon stayed frozen by the door. Rodney was partly naked feet from her and it was a little more than distracting.

"Like you'd mind." He mumbled out of ear-shot, grabbed his clothes and headed to the bathroom.

Now with him gone from the room, she felt more secure in walking around and just so happened to stand where she could see in the crack from the not-all-the-way closed bathroom door. "So, Count Chocula?"

"What? You looked!"

She snarked back seeing a glimpse of towel, "They were laid out on the bed, they were hard not to notice."

"That's a man's private business." He moved to pick up the boxers in question.

"Whatever. I never figured you for a Count Chocula guy."

"Chocolate cereal for breakfast. There's nothing better than that."

"You being a science geek, something science-y would make more sense. Like Schrodinger's cat or some physics equations. Maybe a bunch of monkeys typing out Shakespeare." She leaned back a little, catching a glimpse of him through the crack in the door.

"So you've thought about this, hmm?" Next up, pants.

She defended, "No. Not at all. Nope."

"Right. That'd be like me saying I haven't pictured you in a little pink Victoria's Secret number."

"You _what_?"

He didn't catch the warning in her voice, "Especially after the fishnets were brought up." He walked out, fully dressed in clothes Lennon wanted to burn.

As soon as the door started to open, Lennon had jumped back so as to look like she wasn't a peeping-tom. Er… Sue? No… Betty? Peeping Betty?

She glared, "That was one time. I don't wear that sort of thing."

"But you did." He emphasized his point by using his pointer finger.

"It was under special circumstances." Lennon defended.

"What sort of circumstances? I'm sure I could replicate them."

"We are _not_ having this conversation."

"Fine, should we move back to talking about my boxers?"

"Noo." Lennon drawled.

_"Lenny…"_

Lennon turned from Rodney, "Yeah?" Charlotte was so quiet, Lenny could barely hear her.

_"We got trouble. Stay low until further contact. Radio silence."_

Lennon started to panic, "Charlie! Charlie, what happened?"

There was no answer.

"Great, this is just great. I can't leave them alone for fifteen minutes!"

"What are you going on about?" Rodney actually sounded concerned.

"Nothing." She rubbed her face thoroughly, "This mission has really gone to hell is all."

" Mission? You haven't explained anything yet."

"Oh, right. Well…"

"Well what?"

"It's hard to explain."

"Get on with it." He gestured expectantly.

"My boss isn't trying to take over the world with science."

"I didn't think so."

"You did."

"That was before."

Lennon sighed, "I work for an agency that searches fandoms and universes for plot bunnies and other related issues."

Rodney quirked his eyebrow, "Universes? How could an agency that I've never heard about possible be exploring other universes?"

Leave it to Rodney to gloss over the plot bunnies.

Maybe it was the SEP.

"The world doesn't know about the SGC traveling to other planets."

"That's different."

"Different how?"

"It just is."

"Great argument."

"How do you get from universe to universe, was there a quantum mirror found on Earth somewhere? Did the Nazi's find it? They were big on exploring."

"I can't tell you, it's hard to understand." She took another breath, "So these plot bunnies overrun fandoms and cause absolute havoc, my job is to find and kill them."

"Nothing is hard for me to understand. Wait, what are plot bunnies?"

So now he caught on to the plot bunnies.

"You know what a Muse is?" Lennon asked, figuring that would be the best way to approach things.

"Of course."

"They inspire too, but way worse. They force fanfic writers to do indescribable things to canons."

"Canons?" Rodney eyed her, wondering, not for the first time or the last, if she was crazy.

"Like Mulder, Kirk, Spock…"

"Fanfic?"

She explained, "Stories based on tv shows, books, and movies written by fans."

"Okay… so you're here, why?" He crossed his arms, this time not having to worry about a towel falling off.

"Uh…plot bunnies had set up dens here."

"Why would they come here? I'm sure no one in the US Air Force is writing stories about Captain Kirk." As soon as he said it, he had the thought that Coombs would.

Lennon wondered whether or not to tell him he was a canon and she was an OC.

Better not, it might shatter his world.

"You'd be surprised."

He eyed her again, "That all sounds crazy, you know that? Have you missed taking medication lately?"

"I'm perfectly sane."

"Good." She certainly didn't look insane. "I don't want to be thrown in jail for messing around with a mental patient."

"That's it? You're not going to freak out about what I do?" That must be one strong SEP generator.

That could come in handy some day.

Maybe she could get some schematics. Take some pictures of it too, if everything was okay with Charlie and Madge.

"It has nothing to do with me. If you get your kicks from killing wannabe-Muses, then-" It finally clicked, "That was plot bunny earlier, wasn't it?"

"Yeah."

"But you were going to have it bite me!"

"Yeah."

"But I'm not a fanfic writer!"

"They affect regular… people."

"Why would you purposely attack me with it? What does it do?"

She calmly stated, "Causes varying states of amnesia."

"What! But… why… I'd rather be brainwashed!"

"Relax, there are not more bunnies on base." What? It wasn't a lie.

"Oh… okay then."

_---Earlier--- _

General George Hammond sadly was packing up his quarters. With the Stargate blown up and the Russians being Russian, the Stargate Program was dead in the water.

He might as well go home and see the grandkids.

As he zipped up the duffel bag containing the few changes of clothes he kept there and the picture of his wife, he felt water drip on his very bald head.

It was cold. Really cold.

He looked up, saw the very wet ceiling, and had to move out of the way of the leaking ceiling.

Huh.

He immediately went to the phone.

_---Later… and During the Lennon/Rodney part--- _

"Someone's coming."

As soon as Charlotte got that out after hearing footsteps, the door opened with the typical knock Busters did to warn their teammates not to shoot them.

Two techs walked in, saw them, saw the water, looked at each other, and back at them.

The tall skinny one with glasses asked, "What happened here?"

Charlotte shrugged, "It was an accident."

"General Hammond's quarters are directly below this bay."

Charlotte turned to Madison, acting as if she was talking to her, but she keyed the headset radio, "Lenny…"

_"Yeah?" _

"We got trouble. Stay low until further contact. Radio silence." She turned the radio completely off, so as to stop an incoming transmissions because she knew Lenny wouldn't take that command.

Madison smiled her winning smile, "We're sorry."

"Sorry?" The other, and shorter, tech asked, more than a little irritated.

Charlotte explained, "Yes. I was taking a smoking break."

"Are you serious? The whole base is smoke free." The tech in glasses looked like someone had broken a sacred rule or something.

"After the past few days, I needed one."

"You couldn't have waited? We're all ordered to leave in a few hours and now we have to clean this up." The shorter tech whined.

"Sorry." Madison switched to a more apologetic smile.

"That isn't going to cut it."

"What would," Charlotte flashed her eyes to the name on the man's uniform, "Siler?"

"You could help clean up."

The other tech smiled triumphantly.

Charlotte gritted her teeth, "Fine."

_---Running back over here --- _

"So…" Rodney scratched his head, he was really bad with small talk. Then he remembered some things he still didn't have an answer for. "How'd you get in here and why is your hair wet? Is there a secret pool on base?"

She rolled her eyes, "The lock isn't that hard to pick and there was an incident with the fire sprinklers."

"It's uh… it's a good look."

"Oh please." She pawed at her hair, "It's all clumpy now."

"You can't even take a compliment."

"You're trying to flatter me. It was a lie."

"You're not in my head, you don't know that."

"I know what I look like. I'm not going to be on the front cover of Cosmo."

Rodney didn't know what to say. He really sucked at this type of stuff more than small talk… "Not many women make the cover."

Lennon glared, "That wasn't the point."

"Uh… well. I think you're…"

"I'm what?"

"Hot."

"Really? Huh."

"What?"

"Nothing, 'hot' isn't what men describe me as."

"Well… uh… that's what I think."

Lennon clammed up, a little shocked at the confession.

"So…didn't you have to leave or something?"

"I did, but it looks like you're stuck with me for awhile."

"That isn't a bad thing. We can kill some time." He took a step close to her.

She eyed him, "Rodney…"

"What?" He smiled innocently.

Lennon asked rhetorically, "Is that all men think of?"

But he answered, "Well when there's a hot, sexy, smart woman in their quarters who can keep up with them verbally… yeah." He wrapped his arms around her.

Lennon blushed, smiled, and honest-to-god (or whoever you think is up there, or if you think there's no one… then to-(insert something here) ) giggled. Something she never ever did. Or does.

She blamed it on the ship. "Why do I always find myself in this position with you?"

"Because you liiike me." He smiled smugly and leaned in.

She leaned in too, "So?"

The two snarky geeks quickly fell into a fluffy make-out session that Nenya was too cranky and tired to write out and decided to leave it to the readers' imaginations. Besides, she hates writing kissing scenes and was sure that if she tried, that would have been evident and ruined the whole thing.

She will say that there was talk of whipped cream.

And cherries.

And chocolate sauce.

But no strawberry sauce because Rodney was convinced it had citric acid in it.

_---57.4 minutes later --- _

Charlotte and Madison escaped the watchful eyes of people in the corridor into the store room they had gotten their uniforms from.

The sighed and Madison collapsed to the floor, "That sucked."

"Literally."

There had been a pump, a hose, and a very large buckets that had to be taken from the bay and down the hall to a sink in the janitor's closet because the hose wasn't long enough.

Countless trips back and forth from the bay to the closet later, the bay was clear of water.

Sure Siler and the other tech had helped, but they didn't cause it and offered to keep their names off any reports if the women did most of the clean up.

If anyone looked for the names on their ID badges in the personnel files, they wouldn't find any, and then the Busters would have a problem.

A little manual labor was worth not being thrown in the brig and interrogated.

Charlotte turned her radio back on, "Hey Lenny."

No answer.

"Lenny, say something or I _will_ circulate that fishnets picture." She picked up a dry black uniform in her size as Madison did the same, but going for green this time.

_"I'm uh, I'm here."_

"Everything's clear. Meet us in the uniform store room."

_"Okay."_

"Where are you? I figured you'd come back here."

_"An unused guest quarters. Didn't know how long you'd be out of contact and excuse me for wanting to be comfortable."_

"Just get over here."

_---Perspective Switch--- _

"I gotta go."

Rodney sighed, "For good?"

"Yeah."

They were lying side by side, Lennon having gotten up from having her head on his chest to reach for her radio, but had resumed the position.

"And I don't even get to see you in fishnets. That's not fair."

"You'll get over it."

"No I won't. It's gonna be one of those things I'll regret. Like if I don't see Niagra Falls before I die."

Lennon sighed planted a short kiss on his lips, "I guarantee you won't." She sat up and scooted off the end of the bed.

"Yes I will. Think you could send me that picture that woman keeps talking about?"

"I don't think so." She searched for her glasses and located them half-under the bed.

He sat up, swung his legs over the bed, and grabbed her by the waist, "Oh come on. You've seen my legs."

Lennon snorted, "That's not a good argument."

"Be that way." He let go and stood up as she moved to her pack.

"I don't even have that picture. Charlie does. Hence the threatening me with it."

"Was that your boss in the elevator? Charlie?"

"Yeah." Lennon dug in her pack, looking for a particular item.

"Oh. She's a little scary."

Lennon eyed the zat, making sure Rodney couldn't see it from where he was, "Not really. Unless you make her mad."

"I would have said something else to you but you did chase me out of the mess hall." He teased.

She turned around, purposely hiding the view of her pack from him, "I'm glad you didn't, because then I would have had to explain you to Charlie." She bit her lip, "I'm not one for long goodbyes."

"Me neither. Bye Lenny."

She triggered the zat to ready mode, "Bye Rodney."

Seeing a zat aimed at you was not a pleasant experience. Especially for someone like Rodney McKay.

He would have freaked, did a hand waving thing, and dove for the door, but he didn't get the chance.

Lennon zatted him as soon as he saw the it.

He fell on the ground in a heap.

Lennon sighed heavily as she looked down at him.

For some reason he didn't have an expression on his face.

At all.

It was kind of unnerving.

She debated whether or not to move him to the bed… it might be better if she did because he might just think he passed out from three days of not sleeping.

So she tried to.

Really tried.

But it wasn't easy. He weighed more than her.

"Are you really this heavy?" Lennon let go of his arms and took a deep breath. "Okay. I can do this. I carry that monstrosity of a pack around all day."

She grabbed under his arms and in a heave had his upper body on the bed.

A little break later, she moved his legs on it too.

After ripping open the plastic around the hypodermic needle and bringing some of the grey amnesia venom into it, she went back over to Rodney.

"Humph." She didn't know where to inject it.

Arm? Thigh?

Butt?

No, she was not going there.

Arm. Arm was good.

His shirt was short sleeve so it only took about two seconds to have it done.

She threw everything back in her pack, the bag quite full since it also had two uniforms in it for Charlotte and Madison that they weren't even going to need anymore.

She took one last look at Rodney's unconscious form and depression started to sink in.

Her mind told her to detach herself, so that's what she did as she left the room.

There was no sense getting all weepy over a ship.

_---35.3 minutes later --- _

Lennon was whistling.

(She glared up, knowing what Nenya was going to do.

Fine. Stubborn OC. After all I've done for her…)

No, she wasn't whistling show tunes, but a classic punk song of her choosing.

Said whistling was occurring because after Charlotte had told her they zatted the SEP generator into non-existence, the Buster CO let the geek raid the unused weapons store room and load up with as much as she could carry.

They were also on their way out of the SGC.

Which was very good because Lennon never wanted to see the place again.

Neither did Charlotte.

Madison did though.

"…Let me know if I can help."

Rodney's voice drifted from down the hall they were passing and Lennon looked just in time to see none other than Sam Carter kiss Rodney.

She scowled. Stupid blonde.

Sure, it was just on the cheek, but still.

That was not cool.

Madison and Charlotte kept walking, but Lennon lingered, catching more of the conversation.

"Maybe… too bad for you."

"Why?"

Carter started to turn around.

Lennon high-tailed it out of sight because Carter had seen her before with Rodney. On his desk...

She heard Carter teasing, "I was more attracted to you when I did."

Oh that little-

Lennon's thoughts were broken when Madison looked to her and Charlotte, "Hey, do you guys want to go Milliways? I really want some of their soup."

Charlotte answered, "We'll head back to HQ, see when our next mission is."

"I am not going to the Hitchhiker's 'verse!" Lennon protested, "We might never come back, we could pass through some freaky rip in the space-time continuum and end up across the galaxy a thousand years in the past!"

Charlotte countered, "Then Team 42 will come and get us. They know that 'verse inside and out."

"I don't want them to rescue us, we'd never hear the end of it."

Madison asked with her best puppy-eyes, "Please, Lenny?"

Charlotte baited, "We could track down an S.E.P. field generator."

"Slartibartfast has one!" Madison slapped Lennon's arm, "We could find him and you can look at it."

Lennon huffed, "Fine, but if we end up stranded on some prehistoric planet, go mad, and stick bones in our hair, don't say I didn't warn you."

**FIN **

**A/N:** (Sprawls in the keyboard)

Done! Finished! Kaput!

Fitting how the last chapter is the longest one, isn't it?

For something that was a oneshot answer to a challenge, it certainly has led me to some weird places.

I apologize for any permanent scarring that this story has inflicted on anyone.

Really.

I've scarred myself with things that I will not mention. I'll say that all stem from smut bunny effects (including hallucinations)

I really hope this was a satisfying ending. I've had that last scene stuck in my head for weeks.

So, goodbye everyone, thank you for encouraging my stay in Techie's 'verse. I really mean it.

Let's all go bug her to write more WPBA.


End file.
